Looking for help/advice husband seems to be suffering from Psychosis
I have ADHD (I promise this is relevant). I was diagnosed late in life, at the urging of my family. My husband told me he wanted to get assessed and said that he was also diagnosed, but he used an online service to diagnose himself. I did not notice that he was struggling with symptoms, but I am not a professional, and I didn't question it.
We have been together for almost two decades. We had a loving and open relationship; it felt like we could do anything together, trust and depend on each other.
We were both prescribed Adderall; my dosage works very well at the level I have, but he started having his doctor increase his dose. He is currently on the highest dose available. Within the past 6 months, he started to skip sleeping some nights. I expressed concern/worry, but he was very defensive about it. He was working on a project that he said was stressing him out, and that it would be better when he was done.
The sleeping got worse, and he started missing several days in a row. He started to become irritable. He started sleeping in the guest room when he did sleep and at odd hours. One day, he didn't come out for most of the day, and I was very worried. When I tried to talk to him about it, he left for over a week. I didn't know where he was; he told me not to contact him.
When he did come home, he wouldn't talk to me. Things have been tense since then, and we have tried to have a few conversations to repair the relationship, but he's scaring me with some of the things he is saying. He says I am evil, I am narcissistic, and have been abusing him throughout our entire relationship. He has "evidence" that he will "post" for everyone to see and maybe sue me over. He made an ultimatum that if I don't work on it, he wants to sell our house and leave. He also accused me of killing our cat, but she died of cancer. He thinks I have been spying on him?
He seems to flip between being reasonable and unreasonable quickly. He will tell me how much he loves me one minute and then be screaming the next. I am scared and exhausted.
I called 311 for help, but they said since he hasn't physically threatened me or himself, they cannot help. They suggested that I try to get him to an intake program, but he wouldn't go of his own free will. I asked him if he would consider couples therapy to help me understand how I have been abusing him, and he refused, saying that all therapy is slanted towards women. I am scared for him. I am worried that I have lost my best friend and partner, and he will never come back. I don't know how to get him help; he doesn't trust me. Does anyone have any resources that could help?