u/Adept-Chocolate3187

I used to write music and play guitar, but this terrible condition has taken that away from me, professionally at least. This is my first attempt at poetry. And I think everyone here would relate to it more than most. Please honest criticism.

Tomorrow

Tomorrows the day,
the sun will rise and set
People will come and go
The stars will shoot and fall

Tomorrows the day,
The earth completes its turn
The tide will come in
And the sand will wash away

Tomorrows the day,
I will not remain
But do not despair
All will be silent.

But for now it is today
Here I stand,
The void screaming unto me
A hollow shell,
Holding onto anything.

I’ve suffered for 10 plus years now. But the last year has been severe. To the point where I struggle with suicidal thoughts daily. Every time I seem to have a glimmer of hope something terrible happens. Some examples….

1. Got a great new job - horrible audio accident left me much worse.

2. Had a mild breakdown which lead to a very good day, so someone recommended acupuncture - it made my T much louder.

3. Had a good day today, some mild volume decrease - get ambushed by my whole family when I come home trying to stage an intervention to get me on meds to “cope” better…

I feel like their literal love for me is sabotaging me. I’m spiking so hard right now I feel it might never come down. I don’t know what I want to hear or do. Just venting and hoping for advice.

I’ve had tinnitus for the better part of a decade now and I’m flabbergasted at how there’s no support groups or even how unprepared therapists are for dealing with it. I suffer big time from it… every day is a struggle. I don’t think unaliveing myself is the solution but I think about it every single day, multiple times a day. I feel like if we could get together and talk to each other about our experiences it would do nothing but help. At the least we could share practices or therapies that have helped us, but at the most we could hold each other accountable for making it through another week. Every days a challenge, I truly see the world as a much darker place through this awful condition. Just looking for help in any way possible.

I’ve had tinnitus for 7 years now. It has always been mild. It was scary at first but it was my own fault. Being in a band and working in the trades with no ear protection. I learned to live with it and get some sleep with very mild medication…

A week ago Tuesday someone slammed a large metal dumpster down outside at my work, I was walking away towards the work truck and didn’t see any of it happening. I heard it scrap the pavement and felt great pain in both ears. Ever since then the tinnitus has been insanely loud. I went to hospital and they gave me one dose of steroids to see if it would help. It did nothing from what I can tell. Now I’m on heavy sleeping medication just to get sleep at night and I’m suicidal most days. If this truly is what the rest of my life is now I’m not sure I want to live it.

Im willing to try anything, any advice you have, any drugs no matter the risk. It feels like it’s life or death. I know our brains should habituate but it’s been two weeks of living hell with no sign of it getting better. Any vitamins I could take? Any sound therapy’s that have helped you guys? Absolutely anything would be greatly appreciated… it feels like it’s life or death. I try all my normal hobbies but nothing can be enjoyed through this anymore.

TLDR: It’s super loud and I’ll try anything to try and regain my sanity. Any advice, medications, vitamins, therapy’s would help.