u/Adept-Tomato-6225

Today at our scan we found out we're having our third (and final) boy. It's never been a secret each time I've hoped for a girl but it's never upset me past a twinge of disappointment in the ultrasound room. I love my boys with all my heart and honestly, think I suit being a boy mum. We raise our kids without any gender expectations and I truly believe they are authentically themselves. I joke my only complaint is how boring boy clothes are.

ANYWAY! Today after we left the scan I became basically distraught. I cried all afternoon, I was (and still am) terrified that eventually my boys will grow up to be horrible, grumpy men who are mean to me and can't be bothered to include me in their lives. Anecdotally I think girls are naturally more involved with their mothers in adulthood, especially once they have kids.

This reaction made me realized... all the men in my life are shit and selfish. My brothers don't talk to my mum unless she reaches out and they rarely visit her. My husband is quite frankly rude to and about his mother. I'm also coming to terms with the fact that he's selfish and rude all the time, nothing short of constant adoration is ever good enough for him. He was so grumpy and unpleasant the whole morning (I'd planned a whole day for us and cut it short because I couldn't be bothered listening to him complaining about everything all day.) But that's a rant for another day... My father is incredibly short tempered and rude to my mother. And I just realized, I'm terrified my boys will become that way. I think I kept holding onto the idea that at least a girl would be my friend.

My husband kept trying to console me by saying "when the boys grow up you'll still have me" and quite frankly that was NOT helping.

I have no one to tell this to. I'll talk to my mum eventually once we've done the gender reveal but I'm just sad and needed to vent.

Thanks for listening. The baby is healthy and doing well and that's what's most important and always has been ❤️