r/Mommit

I have a baby on the way and I've become obsessed with the munchkin baby swing that has the Bluetooth controls. The more baby gear I look at the more I keep coming back to this one. I love the idea of being able to control it from my phone instead of constantly getting up every few minutes to change the settings or restart it. I know once the baby gets here I'm going to have a million other things to do around the house and anything that saves me a few trips back and forth sounds like a win. The problem is right now we're relying on just my husband's paycheck while I'm getting ready for the baby, so we've been trying to be really careful with what we spend. We've already bought the crib, stroller, car seat and it feels like every week there's something else we need. Spending that much on a baby swing is hard to justify even though I really want it. I'm trying to figure out if the bluetooth feature is something parents end up using all the time or if it's one of those things that looks amazing before the baby arrives but doesn't really matter in real life.

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I feel like I might be overthinking this and wanted outside opinions.

My mom recently asked to pick up my 4-year-old son this weekend, which I was fine with. I don’t mind her taking him locally for a few hours or spending time with him during the day.

But then she said she was planning to take him to Georgia (about 4–5 hours away) and keep him overnight.

I immediately said no. I don’t allow overnights at all right now, even in town, so I don’t understand why she would assume it would be okay to take him that far away overnight.

She got upset and hung up the phone after I said no.

For context:

I do not allow overnight stays right now

I’m okay with same-day visits and local outings

I’m not comfortable with out-of-state overnights

My mom also tends to compare situations and other grandparents, like what she was allowed to do when raising us or what others in the family are allowed to do. For example, she compares herself to my stepdad’s sister, who is younger (around 21) and has a very different lifestyle stage, where she’s more comfortable letting her mom take her young child overnight or for trips. But I’m 30 now, I’m not in that same stage of life, and I don’t have the same comfort level with overnights or out-of-state trips.

Now I’m second guessing myself because of her reaction, but I feel like this is a pretty reasonable boundary

Am I wrong for this?

I’m currently using dr. Browns with my second baby. These were the only bottles that worked with my first and to save money and be less wasteful I’m reusing them. They have started leaking and I’m not loving my baby’s latch so I’m looking to replace them with something.

This is where I’m stuck. I know glass is healthier. I’m a SAHM so I don’t have to worry about daycare rules. I do however have a 2yo and I would hate to have one break and someone get hurt. They are also more expensive.

So please, anyone who has input, are they truly worth it? Which ones do you like, dislike, loathe, love. I want all the details.

I work from home in our tiny, older apartment and my husband also works. The second I sit down at my laptop I might as well be invisible because apparently I'm still the only functional adult.

Today I had a meeting I could not miss. I reminded him twice, closed the bedroom door, and put my headphones on. Fifteen minutes later the toddler was slamming on the door, crying and calling for me. My husband was right there, but somehow I was still the one who had to fix it. He did the usual: tried for about 30 seconds, then shrugged and said, "She wants you." As if that makes it my problem.

To top it off, a delivery was dropped in the lobby and I caught it on the building camera. My first thought was, "I should go grab it before someone steals it." So there I was, on mute, trying to open the door quietly, keep an eye on the package, and calm our kid, all while staying on the meeting.

He's not a bad dad. He loves her, changes diapers, plays with her. But the mental load and the emotional labor always fall to me. I'm exhausted from being the one who anticipates everything and still getting interrupted.

Please don't tell me to "just communicate" like I haven't tried. I just needed to vent to other moms who get how lonely it feels to be the default parent in your own home.

I truly am at my whits end with waking up to a soaked peed 2 in half year old 😭 I haven’t found a single diaper/pull up that holds this kids pee! Yes I stop giving him liquids 2 hours before bed. I’ve double diapered , a diaper and a pull-up on. what’s the secret ?! like I can’t keep doing this ! We co sleep so it’s not fun washing and changing bedding every single day, or I’m always changing him in the middle of the night and having to lay a towel down because he’s already soaked himself and the bed. HELP!

My husband and I love cinema and good TV shows. I've got a short list going of shows and movies that our kiddo can start watching around age 5 through high school. Some are nostalgic favorites, some are from a time when I was "too old" to watch as a teen, and others are ones I'd love to watch together for the first time!

We recognize that media can be a great connector, and media literacy can really help with communication and conversation throughout life (also to be great at trivia!), so we want to watch shows and movies as a family to build knowledge of how good media showcases family/friendship, problem solving, humor and jokes, character arcs, and storyline comprehension.

In no particular order:

--Steven Universe

--Bob's Burgers

--Supernatural

--DuckTales

--TaleSpin

--Blue's Clues

--Avatar the Last Airbender

--The Dollars Trilogy

--TMNT

--Parks & Recreation

--Cosmos

--Freaks and Geeks

--Redwall

--LOTR

--MCU

--The Magic School Bus (original)

--Fosters Home for Imaginary Friends

--Bill Nye

--Gravity Falls

--Classic Disney Channel original movies (Motocrossed, for example)

--Star Wars: The Clone Wars

--Recess

--Batman Animated Series

--Teen Titans (*not* Go)

--Spiderman Animated Series

--Goonies

--HOLES (as soon as it's appropriate and after we read the book together, one of my absolute favorites)

--Princess Bride

--Star Wars

--Jumanji

--Karate Kid

--Indiana Jones

--Iron Giant

--Jurassic Park

--Pirates of the Caribbean

--Matilda

--The Addams Family (90s movies)

There's so many more that I didn't list or couldn't think of in the moment, but I'd love more recommendations to last us 14 or more years (kiddo is currently 4). What do you want to show your kid(s) to make them a well-rounded person with knowledge of good shows and movies?

People keep asking me if I'm pregnant. I'm 11 mo post partum. I had 4 years of infertility, pregnancy loss, 3 rounds of IVF, an ectopic pregnancy that ruptured and was an emergency surgery, a C section... I've been through so much. And I'm wondering if I have diastasis.

Today I was getting a pedicure with my husband, his first in his life. My nail tech asked me within 2 minutes of sitting down when I was due. I cried through the whole pedicure. It was embarrassing as hell.

I'm to the point where I don't want to leave the house.

Thankfully I work in scrubs which seems to hide my shape better.

I'm active, I exercise, I ride my horse, I eat pretty well. But I am starting to hate my body.

I need hugs.

I’ve had two kiddos since 2019. I used to be so thin with a great metabolism. I could eat anything and never put on weight. Well, that “eat anything” screwed me over in pregnancy. I have not been able to get back to a comfortable weight. I’m currently the heaviest I’ve been, 50 pounds heavier than I was before I ever got pregnant.

I’m so frustrated. I work out at home… just little online 15-20 minute workouts. I walk when I can. I have a small farm so I’m semi-active around the house and yard. I try to eat clean… I will admit I do love my sweets. That’s been the hardest thing for me. I can go all day eating good, and then the evening comes, and I binge eat sweets after the kiddos are in bed.

I quit drinking alcohol a year ago. That’s when I really picked up eating for comfort. I was a functional drinker… needed it to sleep, relax, not be overwhelmed. I’m so glad to be AF, but I thought that quitting alcohol would also benefit me in my weight loss…. I’ve actually put on more weight since being a non drinker than I ever had as a drinker.

My kids are young… I’m a SAHM, my husband is neurodivergent, my eldest daughter is neurodivergent, and my toddler is extremely needy, and still breast feeding at age 3. Im stressed and tired. I am in therapy. Also been seeing a psychiatrist for 5 years. I grew up with a lot of trauma and I am finally becoming emotionally stable and grounded. I am taking 150mg of Effexor (mood) and 1mg of Prazosin (nightmares). I also take hydroxyzine when needed (daily currently).

Yesterday I cancelled a beach trip with my family just because I put on my bathing suit and felt so disgusted with my body. I know “all bodies are bikini bodies,” but it’s so hard. I store my fat mostly all in my stomach and love handles and arms. I feel so unattractive. Not to mention I deal with severe bloating, digestive issues, and constipation off and on… and always have. Could it be the medications? I know the sweets pertain. The stress? Do I need to workout more?

I’m looking for positive advice… small things I can change, words of encouragement, some kind of hope.

I feel so guilty even typing this because I absolutely love being a mom, and I love my daughter more than anything. It’s not that I miss going out drinking or staying out late or anything like that.
What I miss is the freedom. Being able to just go for a walk by myself, step outside without planning everything around a baby, or make time to exercise and work out alone.
I love my daughter so much, but sometimes I feel like I exist only for her right now, and I miss feeling like me too.
Is this normal? Is it okay to love being a mom while also wanting to have time for yourself and your own identity? I just feel so guilty for even thinking it.

I want to start this by saying, yes I am FTM. My baby is getting to the stage where I think we’re supposed to start introducing more actual bite-sized food pieces instead of mostly purées/mashes and I suddenly feel like I forgot how feeding works. 

She sits up really well and she watches what we eat in pure amazement and curiosity. She mouths EVERYTHING and I’m starting to notice a pincer grasp happening sometimes. We’ve done some softer foods here and there but I still get nervous about sizes/texture/choking etc.

Did you do a gradual transition or just kind of…went for it? What signs made you feel like your baby was actually ready? I keep seeing these BLW videos on social media that shows a 7 month old casually gnawing on a full steak dinner while I’m over here overthinking the amount of times I need to slice grapes lol.

I have a beautiful 4yo son. I’ve wanted in my heart to have another child but delayed because I was still reeling from the first pregnancy (I did suffer PPD but also had a lot of wild life transitions which made things feel heavier), but now we do want to try again.

I just turned 40 and while I know what’s in my heart, I’m definitely freaking out about my age, the idea of “starting over” after we’ve gotten more time back to ourselves, amongst the financial needs (we are doing well but were looking forward to no longer paying daycare costs once my son starts kindergarten - we both work full time).

Any advice or success stories from moms my age who took the plunge a bit later in life for a second?

I will preface by saying this is my 2nd pregnancy and am not new to breastfeeding. I’m 30 weeks and got the paperwork from my OB’s office to get my insurance-covered breast pump. With my first, I used the Spectra S1 and also the Willow Go wearable pump. I loved the S1, but after moving twice since then, I cannot find my S1 for the life of me. I’m so upset. My insurance will cover a majority of it if I choose to get it again but I wanted to hop on here to see if there are any other pumps that 1-up the spectra s1 that I should look into? I am open to any options but preferably not a wearable one since I still have my Willow Go. Thanks all!

I'm nearly 8 weeks postpartum and I feel like I'm messing up left and right. I give little one small, frequent meals due to gas and acid reflux, but he's still hungry. I give him that much, he cries. Give him more, he's satisfied for a bit, then cries due to reflux. My partner accused me of starving him. I'm feeling incredibly overwhelmed. I don't think I'm cut out for this...

is this normal or do i need to do something? if so what do I need to do? I don’t really think much info is needed but i can provide it.

My husband, two kids (4 and 7), and I go on a short weekend vacation to a beach about an hour from our house. On the first morning, my husband sleeps in while I get the kids dressed and take them to breakfast. He shows up halfway through, eats, and leaves. I bus the table, get the leftovers, and take the kids up to the room.

We go into town and walk around (what my husband wants to do) and then the kids want to go to the beach, but husband does not want to go and complains the whole way there (it’s hot, there is a parking fee, we have to walk a long way, etc) so when we get there he sits in the covered facility area playing on his phone while I play with the two kids in the ocean. It was hot and exhausting but the kids love it and it made the trip worth it to watch them have so much fun.

We go back to the hotel and my son wants to keep swimming at the pool so husband offers to hang out in the room with our daughter while I take my son swimming. Even though I am tired, I go swimming with my son. Afterward I do take a 45 min break for myself, but when I get back to the room, I give both kids baths because my husband didn’t know whether soap was needed or if they could just be rinsed with water.

The next day husband wakes up early and is going crazy about leaving early (even though we have no real reason to leave early) but the kids are tired and are still sleeping. Eventually he goes down to breakfast with my son, and I pack everything up. When she wakes, I take my daughter to breakfast and we have a wonderful time but my husband is beside himself when we get to the room because we took too long. He yells at all of us until we finally get in the car.

On the way home, my daughter’s friend wants to meet up at a splash pad but we have a person coming by to fix something at the house so my husband says he should stay at home, and I should take them to the splash pad. When we get home from the splash pad, I ask how it went and it turns out the person came by but my husband didn’t answer the door so the person left and now I have to wait for him later this week. Then I cook dinner.

I don’t know why being a mom means I have to be the one that takes care of everything. My husband is not a stupid person but the level of feigned incompetence is mind boggling. I enjoyed the time with my kids, but my husband really strips a lot of the fun out of vacations. I don’t even know what I want out of this post, I am just dying inside a little every time.

Update: Thank you to everyone that commented. I was upset when I originally posted this and I needed to vent but reading the comments really got me thinking. Although what I wrote made me sound quiet and meek, I am not. I have tried to fix this for years, I have yelled, screamed, had calm discussions where I tell my husband how I am feeling and what I want, gotten pissed off and ignored him, stopped doing chores around the house to make a point, wrote down all the chores and discussed trying to split them more evenly, suggested counseling, and whatever else I could think of. Sometimes he starts doing more and he has improved slightly, but more than the chores what I realized is that he is just rude to me. He walks 20 feet ahead of me and the kids because we are slow. He never waits for me or the kids (or carries the bags of snacks and other stuff) when we are going somewhere and he just goes and waits in the car. When something goes wrong he yells and criticizes me instead of handling his emotions in a better way. And it is those things that are truly getting to me.

Thanks for the suggestions to talk to an attorney. I am an attorney that used to work in family law so I know my options.

And lastly for everyone that wonders why I have stayed. I think it is because I spent years building my life and at first I was happy. It is hard to throw that all away. Also I am dealing with aging parents with medical issues and we just moved to a new city where I don’t know that many people. I realized today that I need to make a plan.

My baby (15 months) is just now getting her first tooth. It has a divot in it. Like the top of it has a dip and isn’t straight across. I wish I could add a photo. Has anyone else experienced this? Did it change?

Hi
Mom of 2u2 here. My younger one just turned 11 months, Elder is 2.5 years old. And as the title says, our routines are totally messed up. Posting here just to see if we’re really the odd ones out here or it is quite common. I’ve been so stressed about it.
My husband has been working till late for the past almost 6 months, so eventually bed time has been late. And by late I don’t mean the usual late, it’s always in the am (1,2 sometimes goes up to 3). I try my best to get the younger one to sleep before 12, but with my toddler it’s so freaking hard. I get so touched out and exhausted by the end of the day and all I want is for them to fall asleep. And they totally refuse to go to bed with dad. It’s always me. Up until she’s starts feeling sleepy, it’s playtime with dad. Then mom. It’s endearing but when you’re so exhausted all I really want is to get in bed and sleep. And ofc since bedtime is so late, wake ups are late as well. Breakfast happens between 12-2 pm and then lunch much later (3-5 pm) and again dinner around 9-10:30 pm and well the cycle goes on.
I don’t know how to get my older kid to go to bed early. Switching off lights doesn’t work(playtime happens even in the dark), playing calming stuff doesn’t work. And usually now naps are quite rare as well during the day.
Is this routine even healthy for the kids? Am I ruining their health by not giving them enough daylight hours? Any advice appreciated. Please be kind with the comments

Going on vacation soon, 12 hour drive, planning to split it into two days - the first day is Friday after my husband works for the day, leaving around 6pm. We have an almost 2 year old. He rarely naps in the car more than 20 minutes per day, although there's a better chance of him sleeping at night for the first leg.

We have two options

1. Pull off at a hotel at midnight for the night, set up pack n play, and set off in the morning - with all the cons of a toddler in a hotel room

2. Drive a half an hour out of the way (adding a total of 1 hour to the full drive). And stay with my husband's parents, arriving at midnight. They have a crib ready to go for him, and a quiet, familiar-ish house. Total drive would be 13 hours. Get to see husbands family for an hour or two in the morning.

I (33F) am struggling on when is best time to switch jobs and start a family. My partner and I would like to start trying for a kid now, except I hate my current job. Would any moms have advice on if I should just stick it out for another year or look now? I have been at my job for 4 years but dread going to work. No top up and in Canada so I don’t have any concerns with leaving my current job and getting maturity leave at the next. But staying at my current job is making me miserable. I’m not sure if I’m still better off sticking it out for the consistency rather than trying to make a name at a new company while pregnant. Also, starting at a new company and going on mat leave within the first years seems like it would be shady, but maybe I am overthinking it.

I desperately do not want to spend all day today crying but this is harder than I thought it would be. I mean WAY harder. LO (3.5 months) starts daycare tomorrow, just going for a couple short days until I start work in 2 weeks. I wanted to stagger out start days so it’s an easier transition for everyone. But anyway, talk me off the ledge. Tell me it’s ok that he has to go to daycare (“has to” being the operative word here, I don’t have other options that I am comfortable with). Tell me it’ll get easier and I’ll feel better after the first day is under our belt. Tell me how to not spend all day crying 😭😭