r/Mommit

My kids absolutely love sleepovers at granny and granddad's house and at their other nanny's house, they've stayed with them since my oldest was a baby, they're 7(nearly 8), 5 and 20 months now. My parents and MIL seem to love having them over too. That being said I'm one of the few people I know who seems to actually have their kids stay at relatives houses. Some of my friends would but their parents are either uninterested or unavailable, but a decent amount don't because they don't trust their parents to be able to handle their children or that their parents will do everything correctly or simply don't want to be away from their children for prolonged periods. I do get some of that, but at the same time, as much as I adore my children's and they are the most important thing in my life, they aren't the only thing. My husband and I need time to do things ourselves, I have hobbies and interests that I don't want to completely give up even if I've willingly cut back on them to have a family. As I said the kids love it too, they have great relationships with their grandparents (much better than I did) and I hope that they're forming really fond memories of them.

Am I in a minority of letting grandparent sleepovers happen? Or is it just the people I happen to know? How do you guys feel about it?

Edit for clarification: I confused the definition of reprimand with punish or discipline. Clearly, if Im asking for advice on how to address it with the kids, I’m willing to reprimand them.

What would you do in this situation?

The neighbor kids (5m, 7m) came over to play with my daughter (3) outside. I’m inside with my newborn, pumping, my husband is supervising the older kids, and my dad is home and doing things around the house. My husband came inside quickly to grab a toy the kids wanted to play with- suddenly heard my dad say “don’t smash her pumpkin!!”

One of the kids threw the pumpkin my daughter JUST spent time painting onto the driveway and it smashed open. My daughter is upset. What do I do? I obviously can’t reprimand my neighbor’s kid, but I want them all to know that wasn’t okay and that wasn’t kind. I don’t even know which kid did it, my dad doesn’t know their names anyway so he can’t clarify which kid it was exactly. Their parents aren’t outside and didn’t see it happen. I know it’s not the end of the world, but it’s important to me to validate my daughter’s feelings and stand up for her since she doesn’t know how to do it herself yet.

Full title; Behaviourally challenged student assaulted my daughter. Teacher friend alluded to reporting him for sexual assault (to the school), but that isn't technically what happened. WWYD?

My daughter is in eighth grade, but our district doesn't have a middle school so she is in the same building as the high schoolers.

There is a boy in ninth grade who has entered the public school system this year. I have a friend who works as part of the faculty who has given me as much info as possible without violating the students privacy. We also live in a rural area where people gossip amongst themselves.

Essentially this students parents pulled him from pre-k when the school became concerned about development and behaviour. I guess they were worried about him being judged. Anyway, his parents can't cope anymore, and enrolled him into high school this year. While the school try to manage him and get him support he's kind of being left to run around.

As far as anyone can tell the kid doesn't have any noticeable delays, he just kind of seems like an asshole. He hits people, throws things, is extremely vulgar and threatens violence. But he is also very emotional and is being bullied. My daughter has spoken to him a few times and never previously found him any worse than a typical homeschooled kid. He makes threats but doesn't seem to understand the implications, or he will threaten to bomb someone, and when questioned on how he'd do it, he gets flustered.

All to say; kid has issues, but he has never been a major concern for any of us.

My daughter has a crush on a different boy in ninth grade so she is frequently hanging out with him and his friends. On Friday she was eating lunch with them and the original boy approached her. He asked why she was sitting with older kids and she said because they were her friends.

The boy called her a stupid bitch and told her she had to sit with the other eighth graders. A teacher heard and started to approach, which made him panic, and he grabbed my daughter by her shirt and shoved her backwards, from the bench. The movement ended up exposing her chest. She wasn't injured, just embarrassed, but didn't report it because she was fine.

It was reported to me on Friday evening after she got home, but she went straight to bed. I called my teacher friend about it who explained that they were doing what they could but the parents were not helping matters. He is described as behaviourally challenged because he has no formal diagnosis.

She hinted at the fact that a report/more serious allegation (he exposed her to a group of students) could force the parents hand. But I know he didn't mean it that way and I feel cruel reporting sexual assault when that is not what he intended to happen. My husband says it doesn't matter what his intentions were, he exposed her. My daughter doesn't want to make a report if it'll make things bad for him because it was an accident and she wasn't injured.

I don't know how to proceed.

I have a 4 year old and 1 year old and am constantly ashamed by the state of my house. Clutter isn’t the issue, but I feel like there’s constantly crumbs on the floor, smudges on the windows, food smears on tables/walls/doors, etc. I clean what I can when I can but I don’t always see it all and even once it’s clean, it only takes a day or too to be messy again. How clean is your house? How do you keep it clean?

My 18 month old daughter is pushing me and my husband to our limits. She is constantly screaming. Over everything, you say no she’s screaming and I mean screaming like someone just physically hurt her, saying no, redirecting her, calmly talking to her, doesn’t matter she SCREAMS.

I stepped away to put some makeup on before we left the house and she screamed, my husband trying to give me some time without a toddler on me shut the door and went to play with her in her room. The entire time blood curdling screams saying “momma” when I came out I didn’t give in and pick her up like she wanted and said “momma was just doing my makeup I was right here, momma can do things without you sometimes” and she just continues to scream. What can I do? I’d there anything I can even do?

Edit to add: the no village comment was more of we never have a break from the screaming and I have no one to ask for advice on this

I met this woman about a year ago at a group mom walk. We went on several group walks together then split off and did some walks just the two of us (with our kids, who are about 14mo apart). We also took our kids to the zoo together, and to the playground, and on a hike.

From fall 2025 to late spring 2026, we saw each other at least every month, sometimes every other week. Then it started getting hot. Suddenly, I stopped hearing from her. We chatted a couple times but it was mostly radio silence throughout the summer.

I just ran into her yesterday and we got to talking for a long time and it felt like nothing had changed. I said “omg, it has been forever! Why haven’t I seen you all summer?” And she said “Honestly….ok, it’s not a big deal so you don’t have to feel bad about it, but you said something rude last time I saw you.”

I said “Oh gosh, I’m so sorry…I don’t even remember what happened, what did I say?

She said “Well, you said you wouldn’t be caught dead in what I was wearing and I thought that was pretty snotty.”

Wait….I do totally remember that interaction and that is NOT what I said.

The last time I saw her was our first hot day. I’m plus-sized and hate wearing shorts because they always ride up on me and make my thighs chafe, unless they’re bicycle shorts, which are fine for the gym or for going hiking, but not very flattering on me.

So whenever the weather hits 70+ I pretty much live in sundresses with knee-length anti-chafe shorts underneath. That is my summertime uniform.

She said “Oh you look so cute in your dress!” And I said “Thank you! It’s really the only way for me to stay comfortable now that it’s getting hot, you won’t catch me dead in anything else all summer.”

I was not commenting on her clothes at all! It was just about me and my comfort preferences, but she interpreted that as me saying I wouldn’t be caught dead in what she was wearing??

I explained this to her and she accepted it but didn’t seem to believe me, she just wanted to put it behind us and forget it ever happened.

I feel so bad because I really have a hard time making friends, I’m extremely introverted and never put myself out there and only started going to these mom groups so my daughter would have some socialization. It was a big step for me. So I felt like I had finally made a local friend only to scare her off with a comment that I never intended to be taken as criticism or snootiness. And all summer, I had no idea!

It makes me think….what other things have I said that came across the wrong way and turned people off me? I have been told before that I give off “unapproachable” vibes but that’s absolutely not the kind of person I feel like I am or want to be.

Ok so why TF did GoGo squeez just switch around all the dinos on their packages?! For 2 years it has been known that my 4 year old does not like the Triceratops one (I think it’s peach) and now they put the freakin triceratops on the Rawr berry flavor so now he refuses to eat that one too! WTF Gogo squeez?! Read the room! Do you even know your target audience is completely unreasonable toddlers?!

My mom, an anti-hoarder, used to throw away my things while I was at school because my room was "too cluttered". As a result I developed an unhealthy attachment/defensiveness of my "stuff" and have worked to un-learn that as an adult. I swore I'd never do that to my kids and teach them a healthy relationship with their possessions.

Well here I am, mother of a 3-year-old and a 9 month old. 3 keeps getting junky little trinkets like bouncy balls and plastic gemstones from various Halloween events, parades, (and even as rewards from the pediatrician!) I know freebies / "treasures" are part of the joy of childhood, but some of these things are choking hazards for 9 mo.

3 yo is of course young enough that she leaves these little things all over the house, where 9 can pick them off the floor. Currently driving myself insane constantly checking the carpet so 9 doesn't find something and put it in her mouth.

3 has a brain like a steel trap, and also a temper, so if one item is missing she will notice immediately and throw a fit until it is found.

Without painting it like " this is dangerous for your sister so it needs to go in the trash", potentially building resentment, how do I convince her that these things need to go away for little sis's safety?

A few days ago my husband and mother got into an argument which ultimately led to my mother leaving our house.

My mother was over visiting and my children (ages 5 and 3) were not on their best behavior. Lots of big feelings, tears, emotions as bath time and bedtime were approaching. Instead of helping us with the kids my mom decides now would be a good time to clean the kitchen to "help me". She then commented she can't stand when my kids cry or scream. Fast forward to bath time/bedtime routine and my mom starts critiquing our parenting saying we should be doing this, shouldn't be doing that and our parenting choices are what is making our tired children act out.

We get the kids down for bed and then I needed to do something for work so I was not involved in this situation. Per my husband my mother started commenting on how we are incorrectly parenting our kids, how we are choosing to do so is what is making our children act the way they do. Also to add to context our 5 year old has issues with sensory processing so can easily be set off and has always been very emotional. A few comments my husband specifically quoted were that being at our house "can be torture" and "we will be sorry" with how we parent our kids. Also to add to backstory my mother has never been overly helpful in the child-watching department. She struggles with more than a few hours and when my 3 y.o. was born my husband essentially had to leave me alone in the hospital to help care for my then 2 y.o. at the time.

This argument escalated to where my husband made comments including my mother could leave if she doesn't like how we parent and she is not welcome if she continues to critique our parenting. Then he brought up my brother's mental health issues and how she only was successful parenting 50% of her kids. This was definitely a low blow. Ultimately my mom ended up leaving our house that night.

Since this argument my mom has passive-aggressively texted me. She has told me her and my father won't be attending my 5 y.o.'s birthday next week. She also said she missed spending time with my kids but was told to leave. There has been no apology.

I'm not sure where to go from here. My husband doesn't think he needs to apologize except to my brother. I am also 7.5 months pregnant with our 3rd, adding an additional stressor to this argument I was not even fully involved in. I really don't have the time or energy to deal with my mother's passive texting (every day since the argument). And I truly don't appreciate what she said about my kids. I am not sure if she'll ever apologize honestly. Thoughts? Are we totally in the wrong? Do I suck it up and apologize? Is it even worth the drama?

Edit to add: my mom lives around an hour ish away. She was planning to stay over to help watch my 5 yo who did not have school the next day so we didn’t have to use a vacation day. Just for added context!

my daughter (almost five) LOVES taking pictures. i’ll let her use my phone or sometimes my polaroid to take photos, and it’s very cute. she takes some good ones sometimes!!! i’ve been trying to find her a camera of her very own, since xmas & her birthday are coming up, but every single kid camera online has GAMES???

we don’t do tablets (no disrespect to parents who do), and as far as she knows, the only places to play games like that are the computers at the library and occasionally super smash bros at home as a family. why does every single listing have to have games of some kind??? if i buy her a camera, i want it to be for TAKING PICTURES. i thought i found one on amazon that didn’t have games and i got excited- until i read all the one star reviews that said it DOES have games and the listing conveniently leaves that bit out.

i’m looking for something with no games, kid-durable, inexpensive, and that i don’t have to buy film for. does anybody have any recommendations? 😭

EDIT i’m loving a lot of these recommendations, thank you guys :’) i hate that the cheap options have games, but the more expensive options don’t? whats up with that???? i was hoping to spend $30~ but its looking like a decent option may be closer to double that. my kid WILL be dropping this camera lmao so if i spend bigger money, id rather it be more durable and built with clumsy kids in mind. OR find a cheap used digital camera that is not marketed for kids, and if it gets broken, it wont be a major loss? probably going to look into the latter option…

I don’t know if it’s just my community, but the resale market for baby items is WILD!!

I have a 4 year old and thankfully I got a lot of hand-me downs and baby shower gifts that sustained us for the first year. I kept everything in pristine shape in hopes of using it for my second. We found out it was a girl and were RELIEVED we can reuse everything from our first. Then we go on to find out we’re actually having twins… incredible shocking.

So here I am, looking for a new stroller, one more of everything I already own, etc etc. I don’t want to spend too much so I go on FB marketplace and cannot believe my eyes. People are selling their used, faded, stained, ripped Uppababy strollers from 2018 for $600-$800 dollars. Always price is firm and not open to negotiations. I would be basically subsidizing the stroller that they used for 7 years with both their kids. Who is paying these amounts?

It’s similar with all the baby stuff. Used gliders going for $200-400, baby bouncers for $100.

I’m sick to my stomach, I don’t even know that I’d pay these prices for new baby gear. I felt like the first time around I was able to find reasonable second hand items and prices. It seems like so much has changed in 4 years.

How on earth are we teaching kids to wipe. My girl just turned 4 before the school year and began prek. Shes so totally capable of going potty on her own as she must at school. But for the love of god she cannot get down the mechanics of wiping #2.

And she’s not shy about the bathroom AT ALL. She will go anywhere whenever she needs to and I love that for her. But having no help wiping is starting to cause issues. But it’s like her arms are just too short, she’s pretty short already.

Poopy underwear and now she tried wiping the wrong way and got irritated up front. I don’t want this to be a constant but I can figure out what to show her.

Any tips?

I have 2 toddlers and I would 100% rather be at work all day than home with them, and I’m a nurse… so it’s not like my work days are easy. Every waking moment is a disaster. No one will eat, bed/nap time is a fight. We just hit and bite and kick and scream. No punishment works. No calming voice soothes. There’s just food and snot and messes all over the place and I’m CONSTANTLY cleaning. We live 2000 miles from home and have no friends or family around. And yes I know this makes our situation harder/unique. But I’d say for every 1 moment of “that was nice”, there’s 100 moments of WTF. It’s getting to the point where I don’t want to be around my kids. And a lot of the time I don’t want to be around my husband either. Every time I take a moment for myself, I feel just guilt that I just can’t push out of my mind. I’m too tired to have a hobby. I mainly prefer to sleep when I have a moment alone, which is rare. I feel like trash just typing these words. But I just had to get it out.

I would pay extra for this setting not gonna lie. He is some kind of hidden phone finding Olympic champion.

My husband has ADHD and just doesn’t see it. He’ll tidy, but it’s more of the big stuff like putting dishes away, big pieces of toys etc.

I even have a cleaner/housekeeper! She has zero executive functioning skills. She will only do things if I specifically point it out. The other day I had to point out that dusting off the shelves includes dusting off the items on said shelf.

And then there’s 2 kids. An 8yo with autism who treats having to clean up as an attack on her entire existence, and a 4yo with adhd who tries his best but ends up making more mess.

This morning I spent a full hour picking up hair ties from the floor, teeny tiny barbie accesories, paper cuttings, random lego bricks and characters, I opened up a bedside table we never use and found 5 spoons and 15 medicine cups inside (why do we have so many of those bastards?), I threw out 5 lumpy dirty cushions that are always in the way and nobody ever uses, and I re-hung 3 curtains that had been partially yanked off the rod.

I have autism, so I know I am more sensitive to mess than others, but PLEASE tell me other houses look like this as well. On the surface, everything looks clean because it gets vaccuumed and mopped several times per day. But the clutter?? It’s absolutely insane. We have so much CRAP. Where does it come from? AND WHY AM I THE ONLY PERSON IN THIS HOUSE PICKING IT UP????

I am so sick and tired of my house always feeling like it’s on the verge of being destroyed. I have one husband and one son, and they are both so sloppy and messy. It doesn’t even occur to them to clean up after themselves. It’s everything from leaving dirty dishes around the house to not putting the toilet paper on the f*cking roll.

And I don’t “let them get away with it” I just feel so frustrated because I tell them all the time to pick up after themselves, and they’ll kind of do it, but still leave messes everywhere until I have to tell them again to clean up after themselves.

And of course when they do clean up after themselves after I’ve asked them to, it’s half assed. But if I say something like “no, the job is not done”, I get attitude from my son, and ignored by my husband.

I just want to move out and have my own space and them rot in their own filth.

Has this happened to anyone else? NOT asking for advice, I’m calling my OB tomorrow

I gave birth 3 weeks ago. I had a really small 2nd degree tear that required a couple of stitches that they told me about- they did NOT tell me I had a “periurethral” tear, I overheard the OB mention it to a student and then I read it in the notes they took, but they did not inform ME. I don’t even know what it means, I tried to look it up but I don’t fully understand. The notes said I didn’t need stitches for it, so I just tried to forget about it.

I could feel something sharp every time I peed for about a week and then it was fine. There was also irritation on the other side, towards the top of my vagina near my clitoris, that still hasn’t gone away.

To make a long story short, I’m still bleeding, but it’s not entirely from my vagina, it’s from a fucking tear in my labia minora and I suspect maybe my urethra and/or under my clitoral hood. Idk if that’s the “periurethral tear” they mentioned, but the tear starts at the top of my labia and stops halfway down near my vaginal opening. It’s also deep, like should have been stitched. It looks like I have 3 labia where the tear is.

I’m so upset and embarrassed. I feel like they butchered my vagina. I’m so worried I’ll go in and they’ll be like “eh it’s nothing” when it’s absolutely not nothing and I can literally see that it’s not nothing. It itches and burns and swells up randomly. I’m freaked out.

I gave birth in August of 2024. I stopped breast feeding in October of 2025. Around June of this year I started noticing my hair was feeling different. It was very mushy and felt like something was eating away at it. Now I have significant breakage and hair loss around the front of my hairline with a small bal spot. Is it possible that this is another phase of postpartum hair loss? My hair maintained its postpartum thickness and length up until May of this year. I did shed after I gave birth but my hair remained super full and dense with no breakage or bald spots. I also had a super stressful summer with planning a family reunion and being the target of family anger because of it. 😔 I just don’t know if having true postpartum shedding this late is possible or if I should see a dermatologist.

I am expected my second child and my other kid will be 2.5 by then. I did not plan this pregnancy with my husband and just found out I am pregnant. I am feeling such a huge range of emotions but my biggest one being sadness for my almost 2 year old and anxiety on how I will do this, and will my marriage survive. I am the only one that puts my 2.5 to sleep, we have a really good schedule ect and she still needs me a lot. Yes, I am still breastfeeding. I also have no village it’s just me and my husband. I don’t trust my family enough to leave her with them. I have anxiety about leaving her with my parents because they actively try to cross boundaries when I’m there and just can’t be trusted.

Any advice or realness is appreciated

My baby turns one and will be switching to whole milk from formula. He has zero interest in solid foods but does purées really well.

I need help with what to pack him for daycare and how much?

Also how do y’all send milk? I say daycare, but he’s kept by a woman who stays home with her 2 kids.