I hate my husband, and pretty much my life… feeling like I’m drowning
We’ve been together for 6 years and have 2 kids under 5. (1.5 and 4) I don’t think there has been a day that’s gone by where I felt genuinely happy and enjoyed my life in a long time. I constantly feel stressed, at the end of my rope, and I’m finding myself slipping into a depression at this point. My husband is literally useless, I am a SAHM and he believes that working exempts him from every household chore and helping with anything like cooking dinner or the dishes etc. the way he speaks to me is appalling, and I’m embarrassed that this is my partner. My kids see how we treat each other, and while we don’t necessarily “fight” we barely talk, there is zero affection, and it’s just sad.
I more than anything would want to just move on and move out, unfortunately I have no means to do so financially and the assisted housing waitlist is years long. I don’t want to tear my family apart but I can’t help but feel a continuous rage and frustration towards him. I have tried to separate in the past and he begged me to come back with promises of change, nothing changed, and I am so regretful that I didn’t just leave permanently. He threatened me with custody court etc and taking our son away from me. He can be extremely manipulating and abusive (not physically). I’m just fucking exhausted. I really just want to run away at this point. I needed to vent, I know there’s not much that can be done at this point, and I’m already on a high dose of anxiety/depression meds and set up with a social worker to talk. Has anyone gone through this and come out on the other side? Does parenting and the relationship get easier as they get older?
Honestly just send help 😭