How much easier is the process? Is it faster than adopting a minor? I'll be meeting a lawyer and would like to not walk in blindly to be smacked with the obstacles I'll have to face.
Edit: I'm located in Michigan, USA
Hey everyone first time posting trying to reach out for some help ive been looking for my half older sister that was adopted we are four years apart never met she would be probably 39 to 40
Birth name
Ashley jarrard
Birthday
September 2 1987
Birth mother
Bobbie ann Gillespie
Birth father
Donald jarrard
Born in hall county
Northeast Georgia medical center
We adopted my 4.5-year-old at birth. He is absolutely the coolest, smartest, funniest kid and none of this is intended as complaint at all. But I’m interested in knowing if other people’s kids are or were similar.
He acts very much ”securely attached” in the ways that people describe it. He is usually not distressed to see us go but always wants a hug and kiss, and is thrilled to see us when we return. He comes to us for comfort (and gets it) when something goes wrong, and if he’s upset with one of us, he wants comfort from that person particularly.
But it seems like he is slower in developing emotional independence than other kids. This is completely fine if he just needs to take his time, but if it’s a sign of something that needs addressing more than we are (he’s in therapy) then I’d like to do that.
A simple example: he has known how to buckle his own car seat for a long time, but he always wants me to do it. At kids’ birthday parties, he usually wants one of us to play with him, even though the other kids are options for playmates. He still does not fall asleep by himself at night. We’ve only recently gotten him to go potty by himself and even with that he needs us to “keep him company” while he goes #2.
We gently move him toward independence, and he’s very independent skills-wise, but often wants help just because he wants it.
He also does a lot of like “you’re the peepee-est mama in the world!” or whatever while grinning and looking for our reaction. Maybe this is just preschooler mischief but it feels like it’s also a little bit of a test?
And when he doesn’t get enough attention, he becomes SUPER dysregulated. Hitting, jumping, kicking, generally acting like a wild child … happy! But not regulated. It’s somewhat easy to head off because we just need to really pay attention to him, but it’s definitely notable.
He also has pre-natal drug, alcohol, and stress/trauma exposure. We suspect mild FASD and/or ADHD, but it’s hard to tell because he’s so high-masking (perfectly behaved angel child at school, with grandparents, etc.)
Does anyone here have a child with a similar story? Anything in particular you did to support them or gently help them become more emotionally independent?
Again, if the need is simply “continue providing the love and reassurance because he won’t need it forever,” then that’s fantastic, I will happily enjoy my bedtime snuggles. But if this is a sign of something needing to be addressed, I’d like to do that! And I also have a younger one and would like to know if this is super common in adoptees so I know whether to expect it in him!
Edit: I guess I wasn’t clear that I’m looking at this in comparison to other kids his age! I feel like all this is within the normal range but not many of his classmates, etc seem to be having similar experiences.
I know open adoptions are ideal. We are in the process of adopting. Our son is 18 months old, has been with us permanently since 11 months old, and stayed with us a lot prior to that. It is a kinship placement and he is the biological child of my wife's younger brother and his ex.
They have made it very clear they don't want involvement. His bio mom last saw him when he was 11 months old. His bio dad has since moved out of state and have been very vocal about not wanting to see him. Because it is a kinship adoption, we still have birth family connection on my wife's side. My wife is extremely close to her parents and her older brother. We see them all multiple times a week. We also have contact with our son's half sister. His bio dad had a baby with another woman shortly after he was born, so they are close in age and we meet up with the other mom whenever we can.
Still, we will very likely not have much/any contact with his bio parents as he grows up. Anyone else navigating this dynamic? How is it playing out for you? Any recommendations? We currently have a picture of him and his bio parents in his room and we talk about them all the time. Anything else we should be doing?
We adopted a set of siblings a few years ago. One of them was 8 and the other 4 at the time. The 4 yr old is 10 now and the whole 6 years it has been a nightmare, things don’t improve and thing are escalating. We don’t know what to do anymore, he pees and poops in places he shouldn’t and he lies about it. He doesn’t listen, he doesn’t follow rules. We get emails from school almost daily, he lies about the dumbest things for no reason, he steals from others and he is very defiant.
I have to admit I regret adopting him as it is disrupting the whole family and our mental health. We don’t know what to do, he goes to therapy and we also do. The therapist is trying to help us with resources but it seems like we are very limited.
Residential treatments accept kids until they are 12 and at minimum we need respite but we don’t know where. Any suggestion would be great! Or at least advice. It sucks because he has been so so hard since the beginning that my relationship with him hasn’t grown and I hate to admit don’t feel love towards him :( I never thought I would go through something like this as I’ve always loved all kids but he is the exception.
Looking for a couple in Zim who are having fertility issues and who are looking to adopt a new born. I’m pregnant and would like to give the baby up for adoption through legal channels
I'm in California, I'm 27 years old and 1 month pregnant... Anyone can't have kids but want 1?
My wife and I are starting the adoption process. Our agency said lesbian couples wait the longest for infant adoption because it’s solely up to the birth moms choosing the family and they typically choose traditional families or gay male couples first for some reason (it’s never been researched but that’s the trend they see and so do other agencies).
So, are there any lesbian couple here who adopted an infant? How long did you wait? What was the experience overall for you?
Hi all! I’m new to the sub, my wife and i adopted our daughter in May 2026, she is 13 weeks old.
In the waning weeks of my parental leave from work, I’d like to create a children’s picture book about our family’s story, as one of the ways that we can talk to our daughter about adoption. I was envisioning something like Jamie Lee Curtis’ “The Night You Were Born”, but customized to our story and maybe bringing in some of our journey beforehand (eg fertility struggles).
Has anyone done anything like this? If so, any sites or templates that exist out there to help create a bespoke children’s book? I would also welcome genera tips and other related experiences. Thank you!
Dyna is 2 year old toddler born in UAE. She’s a smart and lovable little girl that needs our help. I’ve dedicated to create this crowdfunding to help her secure a brighter future and safely get home to Philippines.
Dyna went through a rough road, she was handed to us by a friend who is the sister of the mother. Dyna has a lot of cigarette marking on her skin, evidently shows that she went through physical abuse with other ethnicities while her mother was jailed in Malaysia.
The mother is an agent and earns from commission from immigration consultants that brings people from other asian countries to work in UAE as nanny, driver and supermarket staff. It happens that she got jailed in Malaysia because some of the people she got involved with reported her.
The father is a Pakistani, and left the mother even before Dyna was born. Sadly, the mother had to raise the child alone in Sharjah, UAE.
We already contacted with Philippine consulate and advised us to keep the child with close relatives or friends that can support her while we wait for them to process the documents.
We’re struggling with expenses due to bad job market here in UAE. Any donation will help us better support her with basic necessities such as diapers and milk.
We can’t fundraise in Dubai with legal charity because there is no category for abandoned child for cause and Dyna will likely go under orphanage and will no longer connect with her mother’s family in Philippines.
Any donation may it be small or big, or even simple message and prayer is deeply appreciated.
https://whydonate.com/fundraising/dyna-needs-your-help-pakistani-filipina-toddler-abandoned
My husband I are looking into growing our family through adoption and I’d love to read and absorb as much information as I can. Does anyone have book recommendations on adoption, adoption trauma/grief, parenting an adopted child, anything related??
I’m a Christian with a background in psychology, so would appreciate books from either/any perspective!!
Was with another adoptive parent couple who are both women, Mummy and Maman. Their kid is 19 months old and often uses the word Mummy for either of them. She does know which is which because when you ask where’s Mummy or where’s Maman she can point to the right person.
Is this a thing they should be correcting each time eg ‘mummy is on the sofa, I’m Maman’ type thing?
We couldn’t come to a consensus on how important this is among all the other things they are teaching!
Hey,
Myself and my partner have had our 2 year old living with us for just under 3 weeks. My partner had taken to it like a duck to water and has a really good bond going but I feel more behind with it all.
I have a good relationship with our little one, we play together, do routines together, she comes to hug me all the time and is comfortable with me and my wife is really good with her (partner works in a school and is really good naturally with kids). I on the other hand am not as used to kids and I don't feel as maternal as my wife is, I feel like I'm struggling to attach to her like my wife has and I feel more stressed which is making me feel like a bad parent already and I feel like there's something wrong with me. I'm struggling with the change in routine as well which i really didn't think I would.
She's a really good kid, yes she has her 2 year old moments but that's totally normal, so I don't get it.
Has anyone else had this issue? I'm worried about bringing it up with my wife because I don't want her to judge me and think I don't care for the child or see me as less of a parent for not feeling bonded yet.
My husband and I are in the very early stages of adopting, as in we know we’d like to adopt a child in at least 2-3 years from now after saving up more money, and that we’d ideally like to adopt a child of Asian descent, either domestically or internationally. I should preface this by saying that I’m a Korean adoptee, as is my birth mother and adoptive mother. I’ve always dreamed of giving another little Korean kid a loving home through adoption, but would honestly just love to adopt a child from any Asian country or Asian ethnicity. This is because I know how difficult transracial adoptions can be (both my adoptive and bio mom were transracially adopted) so I would ideally like to adopt another Asian child since I know how impactful it was for me to have an adoptive mother of the same ethnicity while growing up.
All this to say, I know that many countries are in the process of (or have already) closed their doors to intercountry adoption, including South Korea and China. I was wondering if anyone knows of any Asian countries that still allow international adoption, and if so, what the process is like to adopt from these countries. If not, does anyone know how easy it is to adopt an Asian child domestically in the US? I’ve heard that there aren’t as many Asian babies available for adoption. Of course, my husband and I would just love to adopt a child in general, but if we can have a preference, we would really love to give a child of Asian descent a loving home with parents who look like them. Any insight or advice would be greatly appreciated!
I am not sure how common of a post this is, so im sorry if it's repetitive. I am a single 34 year old woman who has always wanted to be a mother. I started looking into adoption last year and have been jumping through hoops to get the process going. I have read online that there are so many scams out there and that you ultimately will not end up with a child.
I guess I am feeling pretty hopeless and am reaching out to hear about other women who have successfully adopted a child on their own.
Can anyone give me any pointers, pros, cons, realistic expectations, and how long i will be waiting to be matched with a baby? Am I getting my hopes up for nothing? I am so afraid of ending up broken hearted with no child in the end.
Thank you for reading my post and I hope someone is out there willing to share their story.
Hi everyone! I asked last week about American Adoptions and we’re also considering Heart of Adoptions as we reside in Florida. Has anyone used Heart of Adoptions? What was your timeline and experience?