Is asking for an in person meeting before engagement not ok?
We are looking for a match for my sister (27F). She's pretty, well educated and financially independent. Her only main ask is emotional compatibility - someone who understands her and vice versa.
We got a couple of matches - of which one is from Germany which came in May first week. The boy (30M) and her spoke on a couple of video calls - and the intial stages was good. The boy is scheduled to visit his parents in India in August (first week) which is around 2 months from now and intially they told us they'd arrange for both to meet while he's here.
Now the boy had told his family he likes and wants to proceed. They want an engagement when he comes here. My sister is inclined to a yes, but doesn't feel comfortable making such a big decision - she wants to meet in person and if things go fine, proceed with an engagement. She is clear she doesn't want to commit to anything before that.
The boys family took issues with that - saying that for previous matches, he came all the way down to India only to be disheartened by the matches they'd seem and return - and flights are expensive .so they want a clear commitment now. My sister said she can't do that. The boy just spoke to her now, and was rather curt and dismissive.
My parents had a love marriage themselves, and this is our first time in the AM setup for my sister. We don't see anything unreasonable in her request and if anything, the boys' parents' argument actually points to in favour of having a meeting first. Is it not the norm to want a in person meeting before? Or are we wrong here?
In any case, we have decided to opt out for foreign matches if this is the case - and look only within India.