How do I get my wife (37/f) and I (43/m) to see eye to eye on finances?
My wife and I are struggling to see eye to eye on future financial goals. We currently live in a spacious but modest apartment. My wife is constantly complaining about the lack of light, being far from shops and restaurants, and the drunk guys who hang out on the corner (but don't bother anyone) and saying she wants a house. It's exhausting listen to her complain almost daily about where we live. We live in a very very HCOL city. Buying a house would increase our housing expense by double or even more. I'm not interested in being house poor. I'm very comfortable in the modest home that allows us to save for retirement. While my wife has come a long way since we were dating, she has never been great with money and is quite avoidant when it comes to talking about it. She recently asked me to put less into retirement so we can put more towards saving for a house. As someone in their forties, I already feel behind and believe it's essential I keep putting in the same amount in order to be able to retire comfortably. It feels like a non-negotiable. I've tried to explain compound interest and that retirement isn't something we can start thinking about in our fifties or sixties. Being aggressive now allows us to relax later. She puts some money into her retirement but only when I tell her too. She runs her own business and income varies monthly, so have struggled to automate her contributions. But to put things in perspective, she makes twice as much as me and I put double into retirement. How do I get her to see the big picture, especially since she tends to be avoidant? I don't want to compromise on my contributions because I've done the math and I'm not overfunding, it's the right amount. If anything we'll be short because of her lack of contributions. Is there another compromise to be made?
EDIT: We own our apartment. Owning vs renting seems to have factored into a lot of folks feedback so wanted to clarify.