u/Admirable-Economy291

Basically thanks to the feedback of the wise ppl on here I'll stay away from the hard drugs I'll just get tattoos both as a form of self-expression and I need to cover past self-harm scars on the same not do you think a guy with self-scars is a bitch or not ?

Title I fear that I'll just become insane if I start taking drugs I'm already weak mentally by nature but pretty rational 95% of the time but over the years it's drains me mentally so by taking drugs might be a way to release the pressure ? So I ask can starting drugs and gear or just drugs really fuck my life that bad ??

Basically a personal post you can clown me or whatever I don't mind the trolling as well( can't stop it as well)

I'm almost 1 week sober from alcohol struggle a but with that and I have spiral again few times the previous weeks but I've gotten better as of rn I'm natty got my hands on gear now will start injecting and see how I turn out after hoping on I CAN tell given my past and knowing myself as much as I do that it's not a good idea since gear is an amplifier of what's inside

I've always been weak mentally probably why I try ending myself when I was about 12 lol was not strong enough to make it after I've dabbled with different form of escapism to cope with myself and my childhood probably why I'm open to almost anything freaky stuff and I'm okay with DV(done on me not by me) yh I probably have a attachment issues and fear of abandonment on top of that I'm attracted to women with issues probably because I try to fix in them what I can't fix in myself

One of the best form of escapism was lifting it gave me respect,attention,protection and control over myself but it also but shackles inside of me making it hard for me to stop since I was a weak short kid decades ago knowing that getting lean and big is something I aimed for but not matter what it won't fulfill me after hoping on I'll problaby get results minimum improvement which overtime I just feel like I'll become addicted and it fuck my life up with side effects already spent time in the hospital earlier this year for suicide next time I'll prefer that's I just live a big casket if have to leave earth

Moral of the story ? Idk you guys can say whatever you want to say I'll problaby end myself by end of the year without the gear with it could be sooner also before someone ask yes I'm a bitch who fears having to look inside the eyes of another grown adult because of my past and who I am so say whatever you wish

L 7.2

G 5.5

Edit: Professional might be something I'll be able to do during the month of May as for talking to someone close lol I've been shamed and had "nice words said to me younger might have spiral" being rude etc... doesn't affect me it helped me personally as I got older the other ppl who could care have health problems can't add that on top of their own issues

basically I'm a degenerate thinking of getting a bunch of tattoos to heal and "safe myself" but still want to keep a job so only legs and back maybe shoulder how dumb is stat ? yes I'm drunk and sad so fuck you if you don't like my post

Stat

7.2

5.5

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