Im a bad partner
I need to get it off my chest.
Im long distance with my partner and we're pretty young(early 20s). They arent asexual, but dont masturbate that much and dont send anything to me/do anything with me. Which is fine and no problem with that.
The problem is that they think porn, hentai, smut, etc the likes is all cheating. I need other stimulation to orgasm.
I know they think all of that is cheating, but i need at least audio to orgasm. I watch hentai and read erotica since I feel that its less bad than porn. They have made implications that those arent as bad as porn.
Im not an addict. Im AFAB and have a harder time orgasming and need other stimulation. Once in real life and I have other sources to get my needs out(from them), ill stop.
What makes me even worse of a partner is that I dont think ill ever tell them. I wont ever tell them. But I know they feel like its cheating. And I keep doing it. They know that I dont think its cheating though. So idk.
If they ask me ill tell them. But I dont think I could ever tell them myself.