Cry out for help....i M27 am blinded in love with my gf F26
So me M27 and my gf F26 have been together for 3 years. We had an amazing time together, we couldn't be apart not for a second. Met at university and after graduating i moved to her country .
We had some ups and downs like every couple but I never stopped loving and caring for her.Always giving her princess treatment, taking her out almost every night organizing romantic dates constantly and also trips. As we speaking in 2 days I will fly her out to my island just for the weekend.
However its been some time I feel im single handed carrying this relationship.
I cant even remember the last time I received love from her....It hurts. I no more have expectations to feel loved .
I tried to talk to her in many occasions about how I feel, we had a serious discussion and she told me that she loves me so much. However, I cant remember the last time she genuinely was in love with me, neither the last time she came up and gave me a kiss and a hug.
I know her well, I know how she was when I met her and she was a girl in love , now she is not the same.
So last night , after dinner I left her and I came home alone, honestly I knew that if I stayed and slept together as usual she will be on her phone the whole night, then pass out on her side, and I couldn't take it anymore. It feels so lonely and so painful so I decided to just go home alone.
When I came home I tried to clear my mind , try to understand what's going on and that maybe that's how it is , that all the relationships are like this.
At the end, im not proud of it, I took her iPad that she forgot at my place and I saw her texts.
I cant say I was shocked because I already felt that there was something wrong. But its been months she is clearly flirting with guys, organizing drinks and dates with some, giving them her phone number too. Even downloaded dating apps while she was on a trip with her cousin ....
Now it makes sense , but I dont understand why she tells me she loves me....
I dont know what to do, from one side I want to keep fighting for this relationship and on the other I think of myself and how depressed makes me being stack in a one sided relationship....
Also how can I have a talk with her about what I found. Im really not proud of what I did( looking her ipad) it disgusts me?
I trust in human kindness, please tell me what you think, cause me at the moment im blinded by love and im sure im missing so many things