College is wrapping up. Internships fell flat, research fell flat, and I’m probably going to be working a standard job in my hometown. This familiar feeling comes back to me now like it has in the past that I am missing something fundamental in my life. I look at other lives through social media or on the academic quad and when I imagine what life could be I am filled with hope. It is weird because I have so much natural enthusiasm for so many things but they never seem to align with the way I imagine them to be. My relationships, my experiences, my ambitions, they all feel bleaker than the hypotheticals I am pushing towards. In the distraction of college work I seem to forget about this feeling. But now that I am going into a light load of college finals, I am looking down the barrel of another boring summer and more time that I will let slip through my fingers without knowing why. Why do all my lived experiences feel so much flatter and less interesting than I think they will? Do any of you feel this?
u/Admirable_Refuse5205
College is wrapping up. Internships fell flat, research fell flat, and I’m probably going to be working a standard job in my hometown. This familiar feeling comes back to me now like it has in the past that I am missing something fundamental in my life. I look at other lives through social media or on the academic quad and when I imagine what life could be I am filled with hope. It is weird because I have so much natural enthusiasm for so many things but they never seem to align with the way I imagine them to be. My relationships, my experiences, my ambitions, they all feel bleaker than the hypotheticals I am pushing towards. In the distraction of college work I seem to forget about this feeling. But now that I am going into a light load of college finals, I am looking down the barrel of another boring summer and more time that I will let slip through my fingers without knowing why. Why do all my lived experiences feel so much flatter and less interesting than I think they will? Do any of you feel this?