There are lots of factors that went into my final decision to walk away from the only man ive ever loved.
I (41F) have been in a committed relationship with my boyfriend (46M) for a year. I met him 2 years after my 10 year marriage ended in divorce. His 15 year marriage had also ended before we found each other.
We fell for each other quickly and he is an amazing human being, within months we were talking about getting married and buying a home together.
When I met him, his 28 year old daughter had just moved in to his home after breaking up with her boyfriend, he said she was trying to get on her feet and would eventually leave once she figured herself out. In the year since ive been with him, all I have seen her do is drink, smoke, party, bring random men home, we have been speaking with her about seeking employment and she would rather get high and drunk than find a job. Every wknd she asks him for money to buy weed and alcohol and he gets so irritated and im the one left to deal with his shifty mood until he cools off.
I have my own home, its paid off, I work really hard and am very independent. I have an 8 year old son from my previous marriage.
His house was just sold and he has to give his ex wife half. Leaving him with about $50,000 when its all said and done. He is expecting me to sell my house and we get a house together. My home is worth half a million and is paid off, so obviously i would be contributing alot more to our new home. The thing is, my feelings have changed after watching his daughter's actions. I dont want to be around someone like that, she smokes inside the house, I dont want my child around that. She brings random men home, I dont want randoms around my child. She's messy and doesn't clean up after herself, once I caught her washing the kitchen towels with her underwear, sigh. In the year since ive been around I have never said anything about her behavior or tried to correct her.
I asked him if there has been any plans to help her get back on her feet and start her own life, he said no, he wants her to live with us because she needs guidance.
I am madly, deeply in love with this man and dont want to lose him but I refuse to live with his 28 year old daughter. All she does is eat, sleep, party and get high. There has been nights when he wanted to take me on a date and he asked her to stay home with my son while he slept and she has said HELL NO every single time.
I won't be comfortable living with her indefinitely, its my house as well and I should have a say and because I dont I feel like I need to walk away but my heart is broken, I am in physical pain. Please give me advice im hurting so bad.