To coast, or not to coast
I (46F) have been exclusively dating 41M for over a year. It started out very promising. We both value health and fitness, and we have similar family and cultural backgrounds, etc. Neither of us are in a rush to get married or live together. In fact, we both support a living apart together philosophy.
However, I have come to realize this is not a long-term relationship for me. It’s fine… we talk regularly on the phone, make meals for each other, and the physical chemistry is great.
He seems to be fine with a more superficial relationship that doesn’t go anywhere. He’s not interested in going out and doing things together like hikes/walks, movies, etc. He’s so disciplined with his routine so he’s not really open to trying things that I want to do.
I find that his emotional capacity/depth/intelligence isn’t compatible with mine. When we have issues, he struggles to understand where I’m coming from. It’s exhausting to try to get him to understand. He’s not the person I would go to for support when things get tough in my life. In fact, he tends to get distant when I go through difficult things.
Also, I have ended things with him three times in the past and each time he comes back within a month or so asking to try again. Each time we break-up I miss him, and yet I’m a bit bored in the relationship.
I’ve noticed things slow down and get more distant on both our sides. We don’t text often anymore, calls and visits are less frequent. I’m actually fine with this. I think I am slow-playing this and hoping he will be the one to end things this time.
Curious what others would do in this situation? Would you just keep coasting for a while?