AITAH For going on strike and refusing to cook?
So just as the title says. I (42F) have decided I am going on strike and refusing to cook. I have 5 children. Most of them are over the age of 18 and still living at home. Recently my oldest daughter (25F) made a dish chart that has all of them but my 21 Year old son on it because he pays rent in the amount of $800 a month for both his room and a 2000 sq ft so that he rented from up that is solely for his use to run his side business of working on cars. My rule is work and contribute financially or you do chores.
My (24F) daughter just moved back home with my (6M) grandson. She does not have a job. She gets food stamps and puts $400 worth of groceries into the house. That is not all of them. She keeps some for herself and my grandson for their special stuff that is only for them. Which is perfectly fine of her to do so and I told her she should do so. So since bringing that to my attention that that is a form of "rent" I said she doesn't have to do dishes.
My oldest 25F put herself on the list because she lives in a camper that my husband and I put on our credit and she lives in that on our property. She does not contribute to the utilities she uses (water and electricity) other than to pay us her camper payment and the insurance payment for the camper.
I thought (and told her so) that her putting herself on the dishes rotation with everybody else was her form of contributing to the household. She eats the meals I cook. Often getting leftovers when she gets off work late at night and taking them to her camper. Don't get me wrong, I'm glad the food is getting eaten because often leftovers go to waste, heading to the compost bin instead of getting eaten.
Anyways, she (25F) has decided that if her sister (24F) doesn't have to do dishes since she contributes that she is going to rearrange her finances to begin to pay for the utilities she uses. I told her that's fine. However she'd like to contribute as long as contribution to the household happens. She feels she shouldn't have to help in the house because technically she doesn't live in the house. But she still uses the utilities. And eats the food I cook. So I feel as though she should be contributing more than just her camper payment.
Anyways, to the reason I'm posting, I stated that since NOBODY wants to do dishes and EVERYBODY wants to argue about it, then I'll just save everyone the hassle and I'll just stop cooking dinner. I refuse to wash the dishes after I just stood in there for at least an hour cooking the dinner. They can all just fend for themselves and clean up after themselves as far as I'm concerned. I'm done! These are adult individuals!
The only minors in my house are my 15 year old son and my 6 year old grandson. Which his mom, my (24F) daughter needs to be taking care of him and feeding him and cleaning up after him. But that's a whole other can of worms.
My youngest son (15M) is fully capable of fending for himself. I make sure there are quick and easy freezer stuff and soups and sandwiches and other things he can feed himself easily. He is not neglected in any way.
So AITAH for refusing to cook for my entitled GROWN children who refuse to clean up the kitchen after?
TLDR; I am going on strike and refusing to cook for my family since my grown children refuse to help clean up after I cook. AITAH?
ETA: This post has been very eye opening to me. I realize that I'm NTA for going on strike but I am TA for allowing my children to be so entitled. In my defense, I had a shit mom growing up and just wanted to do better and be a better parent than her so much that I believe I went too far in the opposite direction. My kids all did chores as children growing up. Too much in my opinion but I wasn't the parent at home. I worked 2 sometimes 3 jobs to support my family. Because I could make more money at my profession than he could at a gas station or something.
The issue started after I divorced their father and he basically dropped into addiction and left me to raise them alone. I wanted to and tried to be mom and dad. My oldest girls went to live with their grandparents where there was zero supervision to get away from their dad towards the end. He was really hard on them, and abusive to them. They came back as adults. They were both living on their own out in the real world adulting. But due to the economy and my second daughters relationship ending, they were both forced to move home with me.
My oldest son stayed with his dad for a couple years out of guilt of his dad being alone and his father's lies of me being unfaithful (this was also court ordered and my son was old enough to decide where he went and my ex-husband is a professional liar and a very charming narcissist, I was given custody of the younger 2 and the oldest 2 got to stay with their grandparents) and struggled through homelessness and watching his dad cycle down the drain with drugs. And yes he's a great kid and other than refusing to do the dishes, will pretty much do anything I ask of him. Same with my 15 year old son. Anything I ask he does it.
My youngest daughter, the 20F, just graduated from Highschool. Her ceremony is in a few days actually. She moans and groans about doing chores but still does them. I just hate that when it's her dish turn it takes her 3 or 4 days of letting the dishes pile up before she'll go do them.
So anyways, I appreciate you all and your comments. I read them all. Tried to respond to some. But it was literally the kick in the pants I needed. I'm officially on strike. I'm not doing anything for anybody other than my 15yo son and my husband. And maybe my grandson if I feel like it. I'm putting my foot down about the chores and rent. I'm not allowing my daughter to put food in the house anymore and she needs to get a job. Thank you everybody. I hope you all are having a great day!