I think my husband has BPD
We have been married for 3 years together for 5. He has cyclical pattern of anger. These episodes are often triggered by lack of sleep, stress, pain. But during these fights, he says extremely hurtful things, calls me names, blames everything on me and says I’m not a good wife. They seem to always be centered around the fact that I’m trying to make him mad or I’m the reason for his behaviors.
After he’s calmed down sometimes the day of or even a day or two later, he will be extremely remorseful, say that something’s wrong with him. He said he knows how he treats me and what he says is not right - that he’s extremely sorry and will get very emotional. When he’s in a “normal” state he will praise me, put me on a pedestal and say I’m the best thing that’s ever happened to him. If I ever disagree with him, it’s an immediate episode and that I’m “not on his side”
He also has an extreme gambling problem that seems to escalate with the episodes and stress. In the beginning of our relationship during an episode when I would try to push back/explain my reasoning/defend myself the anger would increase significantly. I have learned to just take a step back and not try to argue with him with him when he’s in that state and it seems to decrease the severity/length of the episode.
He has fallen off with numerous friends before because he does the same thing to them and explodes because he feels hurt by something they did and the relationship is never repaired.
Just trying to understand this disorder/his behaviors because I do love and care about him but the way he makes me feel is not okay and I know that