Sickness between houses - have we messed up?
I'm so tired help us please
Background:
We're in the UK. We have an ours baby F1, and husband has M6 and M11 from his marriage to BM.
We spent years going through courts to stop BM withholding M6 and M11 from my partner. She tried everything to cut down his access - eventually saying he could have every other weekend IF he was off work (he has two weekends out of 10 off bc work). Our main gripe was her asking M11 to make the decisions about if he wanted to see his dad since he was 7. He's very sensitive and BM is a little volatile and emotionally manipulative. She tried to put him in the middle horrifically and I genuinely still believe he would benefit from some gentle therapy. Anyway. We went to court, custody was agreed with strict rules. My husband got everything he asked for and court basically told her to move on and focus on the kids. Happy days.
There was no provision for sickness. The kids have exchanged sick before - with fevers and diarrhea, with medicines in tow, ear infections, the flu - you name it. They've gotten sick here and gone back as normal with no issues and vice versa. BM mentioned sickness at court and they said that unless the kids are too sick to be moved, custody goes ahead as normal. Nothing about sickness is written in the court order.
F1 had a tummy bug last week and husband got symptoms on Saturday. Wasn't feeling bad come pickup so went to get the kids. M6 got sick at ours and M11 has come down with it last night. BM is fuming. We're selfish for not mentioning that we had sickness in the house and she (surprise surprise) wants to give the kids to chance to choose whether they come round in future WHEN we message to say we've got illness in the house. We've deliberately left her in the lurch as she doesn't have the luxury we have of taking time off work for childcare.
We've never dealt with this before so I think we might be the buttheads here for still going and getting the kids when we've had sickness in the house, but how do we manage this going forwards? What works for everyone else? How do we protect the kids while not allowing BM to pull sickiesfor them and withhold contact again? The whole point of the court order was to put rules in place so this can't happen. I hate that we're back here again.
Help, advice, condemnation, all valid and accepted please and thank.