My (M28) girlfriend (F27) keeps planning solo trips without even mentioning them to me
My (M28) girlfriend (F27) keeps planning solo trips without even mentioning them to me. Am I overthinking this?
I started dating my girlfriend about 4 months ago, and we’ve been official for 2 months. Overall, the relationship honestly feels amazing. We’re affectionate, see each other almost every day, and I feel like I’m in love for the first time in my life.
The problem is our schedules. She works until around 8pm, and I start work at 8am, so during the week we mostly just do sleepovers, movies, cuddling, talking, sex, etc. It’s nice, but I also want to actually experience things together, day trips, weekends away, adventures, making memories outside the apartment.
The only real time for that is weekends, but in the months we’ve known each other, we’ve only spent a handful of full weekends together because one of us usually already has plans.
Here’s the part that’s bothering me: she’s from Latin America and has been really into solo traveling around Europe ever since she came here around 1.5 years ago. She still does spontaneous weekend trips alone now. Two weeks ago she did one, and now she’s doing another one over the upcoming long holiday weekend.
What confused me is that she never even mentioned it. We spent the entire last weekend together and saw each other almost every day during the week too. I only found out because I joked about her “probably having another solo trip planned” when I checked the weather forecast for next weekend. She replied: “Oh, I didn’t tell you? I’m going to Spain.”
I asked why she never even asked if I wanted to come, or at least told me earlier. She apologized and asked if I was mad. I said no, just a bit sad.
What’s messing with my head is this: when I’m with someone I really like, I naturally want to share exciting experiences with them. Trips, adventures, weekends away, all of it. If the roles were reversed, I honestly wouldn’t even want to go alone because it would feel less fun not being able to share it with her.
To be fair, her travel style is very different from mine. She does ultra-budget spontaneous trips, cheap terrible flight times, hostels, cheap food, etc. I once told her that’s not really my preferred way of traveling, but I never said I wouldn’t do it with her.
She said she’ll involve me more in future plans, which I appreciated. But I still can’t shake the feeling that if someone is really excited to build a life with you, involving you in those plans should happen naturally.
I find it genuinely strange to repeatedly plan trips without even mentioning them to your partner, has anyone ever been in a similar situation?