u/Adventurous_Gain_613

I am attending a Catholic church, planning to do OCIA, and planning to convert formally. I am in my second marriage. My first was in an Episcopal ceremony in a church. My second spouse was baptized in the Episcopal church but is non-practicing (and a pretty definite atheist). We were not married in a church but still by an Episcopal priest (his relative). One child from each marriage.

I learned recently that I was never baptized (I thought I had been baptized in a protestant church of some kind, as my mother was church-hopping for many years). Therefore, this would be my first baptism.

My spouse would not be agreeable to convalidation or even radical sanation if it requires any statement on his part (he has major misgivings about all organized religion but Catholicism higher that others, but this is where I feel called.) Would my marriage require radical sanation? If so, can it be done without his participation?

Let’s get into it! As a person descended from a lapsed Catholic, I’ve always been Catholic curious (less so for the lapsed Baptist other parent) but would describe myself as agnostic. My call to Catholicism has grown very strong in the past year or two and I’m attending mass regularly.

However, my atheist spouse is not a fan. I attributed it to being dragged to church as a youth, which is part of it, but as a person who experienced trauma as a child and sees churches as perpetuating trauma, spouse is feeling hurt/betrayed/offended by my new interest. His top three villains are Scientologists, Mormons, and Catholics. Catholic church mostly for the s€x abuse scandals.

So, for those in mixed marriages where their spouse is vehemently atheist or anti-Catholic, how are you dealing with that? How are you balancing your own journeys with faith? Can you live and let live or is it something where you are either united or divided?

On a related note, how are you responding to people (loved ones and others) who accurately and not are criticizing the Catholic church for failure to stop child s€x abuse?