u/Adventurous_Lion_904

Ever since 1.13, performance seems to have taken a massive hit.

I have a 9800x3d, 5070TI, and 64GB Ram. And im experiencing borderline unplayable performance in as early as the late 1840s. In my 2 sicilies run, 1850. Im getting about 15FPS at best when unpaused, very visible stuttering even for a paradox game. Atleast stellaris and hoi4 give you time to prepare

There are games several times more complex and resource intensive than this game running at 160FPS for me.

I would understand if my resources were being maxed out, then fair enough, I need a better PC. But when I check task manager:

CPU is barely hitting 10%

Vic 3 is taking 10GB Ram at the most

GPU is at 50%

So not only does performance suck, but victoria 3 refuses to use the resource its provided. Ridiculous.

This is java minecraft levels of poor optimisation. I wouldnt be surprised to find this game running on a single core.

I have no mods, and have never used any in a paradox game. After 350 hours, I think its genuinely time to stop playing this game. Ive gotten accustomed to bad performance in other paradox games, but this is testing my limits, and no other paradox game has even came close to doing that with me before.

I feel sorry for those of you out there who dont have the luxury of a good PC setup. Godspeed.

Sorry for the lack of screenshots, im away from my PC just now. I recently started playing dsp again, and my starter system has

8.5 million fire ice on the outer planet

Only 1.5 million silicon across the entire system (most of which is one 1.2mil vein on the outer planet)

Titanium is also relatively low I believe.

How rare is that? So much fire ice yet low resources overall. I feel like im cheating almost haha, this fire ice stuff is insane!

Im on the regular 1x resource or whatever that is set by default, so its not low/high for any other reason I can think of

Thanks!

I dont even have anything to say. Theres a decent amount I was thinking about leading up to the date but otherwise... idk. Its just all things ive done before.

Thank you all for the kind words. But I feel like my time will be up alot sooner than day 37 : D

My cat is dying. He has been for a few months now, but nowadays its gotten pretty bad. Big tumour coupled with some slight dementia means he really doesn't have a quality of life anymore. He went blind a few weeks ago. He is getting put down on Thursday (in 3 days) following medical advice.

now, given the alexithymia, dying is never something that's bothered me. I'm pretty much the only one in my family that never cries, and I mean ever, its been a few years at least. Dead people aren't here, so they don't concern me, even if its close family, I just don't think about them at all really. I'm very calm in crisis situations but that does not make me any less of an awful person.

I observed him for a while today, doing his thing and, it made me really fucking sad in a way I haven't been for a while. Guilty even. I've always been scared of most animals, especially cats and dogs, and it has never went away, even after I've spent literally 10 years with my cat. To tell you the truth, I've rarely ever touched my cat because of this, but he spends more time in my room than in any other, always has done. I guess its quiet a lot in here. Because of the fact I don't really talk to anyone IRL, or even online really, I can pretty confidently say I've seen my cat for more time than any other human being in my entire life.

I treated him like shit. I deserve to rot in hell where I fucking belong. I never played with him or touched him or anything like that, because I'm a miserable, scared little fuck that cant handle things moving. His life must've sucked for the last 10 years, and its my fault really, because everyone else was a lot nicer to him than I ever could be.

Why do I even care, ill be joining him soon. Day 37 cant come any fucking sooner I think. Maybe I should just do it now, get it over with while I still have the willpower to try.

Thank you all for reading :D Stay safe out there.

Hey everyone :D

This is one of those times that I really wish reddit had voice messages. Its how I like to talk, I think a lot of context gets lost through text, and sometimes I feel like I can sound really mean to people when im not trying to be :)

Huge thanks to everyone who commented last time, it means a lot. If any of you ever need anything, talk to me directly, I don't mind. I like knowing that you guys are doing alright!

I've managed to help a few more people recently stay on this planet, and that's been cool, but it made me realise I need to back to getting my own affairs in order. My assumption was that upon my death, all of my games, account passwords etc. would go to my little bro, and my parents would keep the money. But my parents don't really need the money as much as they used to, so ill have to rethink that.

im finally gonna pay for more dermatology. Its something I always wanted to do, and I was pretty good at it a few years ago, but I lost some motivation, so hopefully I can look better again :)

probably gonna get myself a dietician aswell. Im not like fat or anything, but I dont eat well, and it probably causes some issues. I did find out I weigh something like 55kg, which is way too much, so im gonna just not eat till I see them so its atleast <50kg.

honestly not too sure what else to say, im not really thinking straight right now.

thanks for reading this, I hope you have a good day people :D

(P.S, I hope this isnt too heavy for this sub, and if it is I apologise.)

Hi there. Alot has happened on this sub in the last few hours, to some pretty sizable personalities on here. Good things of course :) Boyfriend guy got a boyfriend, boywife guy is finally in a position where he can focus on more important things in life.

I've always been a lurker around these places, and I try to use my own experiences to help as many of you as possible. I'm 17M, and in 38 days, I will be 18. Ever since I can remember, I have a very severe form of alexithymia, dating all the way back to when I was in nursery. I was technically diagnosed at 3 years old, but never formally, they thought back then that it might go away with age, but here I am 14 years later...

Alexithymia is not a condition, but its a symptom. The exact cause is different for everyone, and I haven't identified it for myself yet. But in short, I cant feel emotions. They may be there, but they are totally imperceptible to me. Even the concept alludes me. Trying to explain emotions to me is like trying to teach a blind man what the colour red is. Yes, you can say that apples are red, blood is red, and so on and so forth, but no matter how you try and describe, he will never truly understand what red is, he cant see after all. This is what emotions are like to me, I may have them under the surface but its an exercise in futility.

This led to be becoming very depressed at a young age, I would say about 10 years old. I guess ive been lonely for all of that time. But it doesn't feel lonely, I like to think I enjoy all the time I have to be with my own thoughts. I never had any friends growing up, never hungout at someone else's house, or added people on socials, none of that really. I quit highschool, then college, and I now have a job, which I'm pleased to say is going decently well.

this next part will be a bit heavier for some of you. please be careful :)

In the last 3 years, I have tried to take my own life over 12 times, one of those attempts was very recently. This has caused some tension between me and my family. I should count myself quite lucky im alive, ive been hundreds of miles from home in the middle of the night on multiple occasions. I suppose my alexithymia has caused me to take up a philosophical world view which challenges the meaning of life. Its hard to find a reason to be here, when Im physically incapable of appreciating it.

Because of my ability to be impartial about sensitive topics, I help people all over the world with therapy and so on, and I have done so for years. Im proud to say that ive stopped many people quite literally in the process of taking their life. Its very frustrating, that I cant apply my own help to myself, it just hasnt worked thus far.

Thats what the above timer is. I have long since held the position that, I will die before I become an adult. Ive been planning this for years now. A very elaborate way in which nobody would find me.

But, before that, I want to give my brain one last chance to redeem itself. In 37 days, it will be 1 day before my birthday (june 10th is my bday). If by that point I havent taken drastic steps to improve my life, I will delete this account, and carry out the plan. If not, I may post here for a while longer, I like helping you guys where I can :D

I will be posting every day until then. Thank you all.