u/Adventurous_Long_451

OK, so I was not expecting this to blow up the way that it did honestly was just doing one of those screaming into the void things but here we are. After taking some time away from the initial post and do some introspection as well as reading some comments, allow me to clarify some things and update.

1. I saw a few comments, wondering or surprised that my bio Mom never got involved. At the time, my mother was serving in the Armed Forces and was deployed to Iraq a lot so during that time I was in between my grandparents and my bio dad, but rest assured once she retired and was out of uniform, there were many moments where she took matters into her own hands legally and illegally, and I’ll leave it at that.
2. I know it is always a very touchy subject when it comes to men, putting hands on women in a violent manner I am not trying to justify my actions. Yes, I reacted in a volatile emotional state and looking back on it. Do I honestly regret what I did? Honestly no, but I do acknowledge that I could have handled the situation a lot better without resulting to violence that also being said I was taught by my mom that "equal rights, equal fights" or "don’t put your hands on me and I won’t put my hands on you"
3. yes, at my age I am very aware that “name-calling“ is very childish and I should be above it however I would pose the question who among us have never done something just a little bit childish despite our age? Again, not justifying my actions just simply asking a question. It’s a habit that I know I need to break and I will continue to work on that.

Update

overall, since the event itself, and even after posting sitting back reflecting speaking with my loved ones and speaking with my therapist, it’s set in stone that clearly that I have some things I need to keep working on and I will continue to work on. Overall, do I feel like I finally got my personal justice at the end of all of this? I would be lying if I said anything other then yes. I do feel extremely justified and I honestly do feel like a weight of pain, sorrow and anger has been lifted off of my shoulders after all of this. I acknowledge that I could’ve handled the situation better but I realistically as of this moment cannot see no better way maybe sometime later on as I continue to grow I can look on it later in my life and see it differently, if I could go back and change some things. For all of those who commented in my favor. I appreciate it and to those who gave their deepest sympathies and shared some of their own personal experience in relation to my own. I thank you all this has been a enlightening experience for me that I will look back on fondly and look too for guidance as I continue.

So for context I (30M) have had nothing but hatred later through therapy contempt for my biological father whom recently passed away. That anger came from him cheating on my biological mother with the step-orangutan mother who also AS'd me when I was 8 during my parents divorce but of course denied it and said I was just copying what I saw on TV, so he never believed me and choose her, married her and had 3 more kids with her so to say I've had nothing but hatred is understatement. Fast forward my biological mother finds love and I find who should've been my real dad but that's life a little forward around my 30tg birthday back in April my bio dad calls and tells me he has cancer and it's bad an he wants to try to fix things one last time before he goes. To be clear he's tired over the years but SHE the orangutan always wanted to be involved and that was a flat out no for me so we never really had anything, now the end of April early May things get bad for him and he passed early June. I wasn't sad I was numb and it was just another day for me fast forward to early this month when we’re at the funeral to which I really didn’t want to go, but my therapist and my own stepfather suggested it would be good for me just to get some sense of closure or catharsis, while at the service, everyone is naturally crying and I’m honestly sitting there wondering what I want to have for dinner when I get home to my fiancé the step orangutan constantly keeps trying to come over to me and have an emotional moment and I being in a respectful setting constantly chose to walk away to avoid causing a scene at a certain moment she cornered me, got loud, causing a scene, asking why I was not consoling her or console with my half siblings that my dad, her husband just died and that we need to be a family in that moment I don’t know what came over me, but I let out over 20 years of anger and rage on her aired out all their dirty little secrets that they try to hide from family, friends and church members. Naturally as if I care, she became even more emotional in hysterical and started beating across my chest as if I was the mad one. I don’t know what came over me but right then in there, I proceeded to pimp slap her away from me shocking everyone. After she fell I straightened up my suit and proceeded to walk away as everyone just stared at me. I told my therapist my family and some of my friends would happen. Everyone gave mixed emotions some support others, and I wouldn’t say disapprove, but suggesting I should’ve handled the situation tactfully. given the people who I shared this information with knowing my history with her they all gave overwhelming support for my actions just didn’t approve how I went about them. I really don’t care what happened, but seeing how I did disrespect a holy place, although I am not religious I do you believe in karma and have been wondering if I could’ve handled the situation a lot better.