Best Friend Got Boyfriend and now she won’t talk to me (and I’m moving in with her)
My best friend F20 and me F24 have been friends since like Fall of 2024. I met her at university when as a randomly-assigned roommate, but we shortly became best friends. We would play Fortnite like every night, yap about whatever, and basically skip classes to hang out. Then, the summer of 2025, she transfers to another college in Colorado. This was not out-of-the-blue, as she was forced to go to the college I went to by her parents. She transfers and she’s a lot happier and she says I was the best part about the previous college. We still talk every day. Some days she would call and we would talk for genuinely like 6 hours. Still played Fortnite, played through all of split fiction, etc…
Anyway, I knew I’d be graduating this spring, so I was planning on moving. Now, I’m not sure whose idea it was, but we started talking about me moving into her 4x4 apartment in Colorado. I’m SUPER excited and so is she, to the point where she really wants me to move in with her. Just to be cautious, I made sure I knew she signed the lease before I did. I also asked her on phone call over and over again if she was actually okay with me moving in. This decision took me months, as everything I know is in Nebraska. My boyfriend, my family. But I’ve been dying for a change for years after being an undergraduate for so long and I’d always thought Colorado was beautiful. And she made it very clear she wanted me to live with her. I was so excited and I finally signed the least back in January, right before all the spots filled up.
Now, I turned 24 in early March, and, shortly before my birthday (maybe late February) is when she broke up with her really shitty boyfriend. I was happy for her, especially since he treated her poorly. We were talking A LOT then, lots of phone calls and texting. But this was normal. Mid March, she starts seeing this guy. By the end of March, they’re dating. Now, from what she told me at first, he seems amazing for her and she seems really happy.
However, a lot of things changed very quickly. We stopped calling for long periods of time. When she did call, she’s told me she deleted most social media, which struck me as odd. She also backed out of a trip to another country for a class. And every excuse she gave me (which I didn’t ask for) existed before she got her new boyfriend, but only became relevant after she started dating him. She started cooking and baking more than I’d ever known her to before. Stopped playing video games. And started going outside a lot more.
Most of those things sound great to me, but this all happened before it was even May. So entirely within a month. At first, my initial reaction was that this man is trying to isolate her and she might not realize it. Either way, I know that she has rose-colored glasses and I completely understand that.
Two weeks ago was my graduation ceremony. Up until a few weeks before it, she had been consistently telling me that she would never miss the ceremony for the world. Over and over again, she told me this. I never expected her be there, obviously with gas and the long drive. But, come the day before, she’s telling me about her plans with her boyfriend on my graduation day before she even tells me she won’t be there. I brush it off. Maybe she forgot.
The following week is my graduation party, of which she also promised she would be there. Again, I never expected her to drive to another state. But I did offer her my appartment in case she drove up early, and I told her that her boyfriend could come. I heard nothing at all. She messaged me on Monday, my party was the following Sunday. She didn’t message me the entire week until an hour or so after my party. All I expected was a message saying she wouldn’t be able to make it. Instead, with her message after the party ended, she said ‘sorry I was busy’ and asked for photos.
Mind you, I am moving in with her on June 1st. Today is May 20th. (My party was the 17th. Ceremony was the 9th.)
So I talked this out with some other friends and they all agreed I should say something. So I send a text message that said (in short terms) ‘I know u would never mean to hurt me but telling me u were going to the party and then not even telling me u wouldn’t be there kinda hurt my feelings. Are you doing okay? (I mentioned also how she brought up her plans with her bf on my ceremony day before telling me she wouldn’t be there)’
Specifically, I made sure to say twice that I knew she wouldn’t never mean to hurt my feelings. And I made it clear I was worried about her more than any other feeling.
She has since left me on delivered for 2.5 days now and I don’t know what to do.
I move in two weeks. She’s the only person in the entire state of Colorado that I will know and I did so much damage control to make sure I would be okay in this situation. And, I’m scared she won’t even talk to me when I get there. I’m also scared her new boyfriend is emotionally manipulating her.
I already signed the lease, but it’s been really hard to even want to pack. She told me everything before, and now it’s essentially nothing. When she does text me still, it’s all at once and really enthusiastic, but it doesn’t really feel genuine anymore. I know she could just have rose-colored glasses but am I crazy for being very hurt and for not really wanting to move? (even though I have to)