Need Advice/Help: Is this AGP?
Hi, everyone. I apologize for this post as I am not sure that my experience fits here but I would like advice from people who are AGP. I know this post is a mess but I'm really freaking out about this and there's not really any resources available for something like this
My biological "sex" is female. Even saying that makes me uncomfortable. In my day to day and when in private nonsexual contexts, I desire to be male (have a fully male body) and remove all of my female sexual characteristics. This feeling exists whether or not I'm interacting with other people. I don't have a history of trauma or anything, I've never experienced misogyny really. I am attracted to women(?) and want a normal relationship with a woman (for the most part, the sex part is less relevant compared to the social aspects of having a partner who is a woman)
However, during sex or sexual contexts I am "content" with being female in the sense that I think it's hot/attractive to be a woman, particularly the kind of woman I am attracted to, during sex. My fantasies involve being a woman but not the "woman" I would be if I had not transitioned, if that makes sense. So during sex or masturbation my desire to be male is minimized (but still there?) because I'm physically enacting my fantasy and the sexual gratification matters more than the discomfort. In all of my sexual fantasies I am a woman but not really "myself" as a woman necessarily. This fantasy woman is a different person basically though IDK I guess I feel like we'd get along
The thing I'm most paranoid about is somehow being an autoandrophile or an "autoautogynephile," but the male body brings me no sexual gratification and has more to do with not hating my body and it's functions everday. But I don't want to be wrong about transitioning and regret this when I'm in my 40s or something which is why I really need advice.
Is it possible for someone who is "biologically female" to have AGP? Can you be transgender and AGP but they aren't related to each other? Does it seem like a bad idea for me to transition in this situation?