Im 24m and i‘ve started with watching trans and gay porn since i was 13. As i was 18 i hooked up with trans girls and men and im kinda love being bottom.
But i cannot embrace in public and i have a beard that i can’t because of my social environment. Can someone tell me how to be a good secret sissy
Fetish -> sexual arousal at a body part or object.
transvestic fetishism -> "transvestic" (crossdressing) fetish -> sexual arousal at cross sex clothes. just like latex, spandex, leather fetish etc.
agp -> paraphilic sexual orientation -> sexual arousal at idea/fantasy of female self.
agp can manifest as transvestic, that is, the fantasy of female self is expressed through crossdressing.
but is it necessarily true that all transvestic fetishism is a manifestation of AGP?
in some cases it could simply be sexual arousal at the clothes themselves, with no desire for femininity or escalation towards further HBS types.
in short is HBS type 2 always auto erotic?
Basically the title, but the question is around did it live up to the hype in your fantasies or a let down or anything else remarkable about it?
This is mostly about AGP that actually fantasized about being with a partner of some kind.
a lot of AGPs view it as an integral part of their orientation.
ive spend years trying to shoehorn in either "AGP as a sexuality" or "innate gender identity" as reasons for the pull ive had towards feminization (very late onset). but neither really fit.
here's what i think is my case:
- i grew up very heteroromantic and heterosexual, but more accurately i'd say "exclusively attracted to women". my "identity" was never initially part of my sexuality.
i say this because i do think many heterosexual men (e.g. red pill) are very auto-androphillic. they really enjoy the idea of being a man having sex with a woman or in a relationship with a woman. this seems so obvious to me, because i have no autoandrophila at all (and esp. not when it comes to my body). the concept is alien to me and always has been. even some AGPs (like the recently retransitioning youtuber Rae/Ray) seem to have some degree of autoandrophilia in some settings.
- women generally dont find me attractive. and the few times they have, i cant really figure out if its real or if they are mistaken about how they feel (even the sex i had i dont really know why it happened [from the woman's POV]).
- my autoandrophobia resulted clearly from this feeling of undesirability. not from some latent sexual orientation hidden for decades.
- transitioning (to relieve it) didnt really help. body feels better and softer, yes, but that doesnt feel like AGP to me. just the way a heterosexual (non-autoandrophilic) brain would react to having softer skin.
- i detransitioned, not because of "gender", but because i identify strongly with a non-autoandrophilic version of heterosexuality (im attracted to women as "me", not as "a man" or a "woman"). also trans lesbianism & agp pseudo-bisexuslity sound incredibly depressing to me because they are hugely autosexual.
- going through a lot of therapy id say im more neutral now about my body (which is how i started anyway). however, the neutrality feels dangerous because women dont find my natural body attractive and "masculinizing" doesnt even make sense to me because i dont even have the right mental map for it (because i have zero androphilia and zero auto-androphilia).
TLDR; i think the complete lack of androphila and autoandrophilia + lack of perceived visceral desire from women can cause gender dysphoria and agp. but they remain as symptoms (or sexual subconscious "strategies"), not real causes (for me anyway).
thoughts?
pnc used to clear all feelings of feminization but now it doesnt do much. like no regrets whatsoever at all
What if one takes hormones only for himself and his physical dysphoria but keeps manmoding/boymoding forever? Possible or not?
Also, is it a good idea or not?
I was turned on by Lois Einhorn and I don't know if it's AGP or just an attraction to trans women.
When Ace Ventura, at police gunpoint, reveals to the cops that their Lt. Lois Einhorn was the one who kidnapped the dolphin and Dan Marino, his only "evidence" is that she is trans and was formerly known as Ray Finkle who had a rivalry and serious axe to grind with Dan. While all of this is technically true and we the audience get a front row seat witnessing Ace uncover this (with his gay/trans panic unfortunately on full display), he presents zero actual tangible evidence that Lois was the abductor. He doesn't even prove that she used to be Ray Finkle. The only thing he "proves" is that she still has her penis by stripping her down to her underwear in front of her colleagues, all the while she is ordering/begging her colleagues to shoot him and everything somehow ends up all victorious for him. Ace and the audience both know that Lois Einhorn is a villainess, but it never would have gotten to the point in exposing her that it did. Einhorn's colleagues would have 100% shot Ace dead, not only for assaulting a high ranking, respected female officer with an impeccable service record, but also because of all the (no matter how accurate) unhinged ranting and raving about her that he was doing. Lois Einhorn doesn't get arrested because of the crimes she committed, she gets arrested because she is transgender.
The thought of her becoming a woman turns me on. I'm just trying to make sense of this.
I have conversing with /u/RMS-106 in another post, and something occurred to me, a particular division line, where most AGPs fall on one side or the other, maybe moving across the line from time to time.
Usually the question is put as "do you have dysphoria? Yes or No", but I think the more significant question is this, do you live your life in such a way that demonstrates that your feminine self ideation is more important to you than being with real women?
/u/RMS-106 seems to be on the other end of this spectrum relative to me. If you asked my "would you rather magically become a woman, or would you rather magically have, and be loved by, the most attractive women that you could imagine?" , he says he's rather be a woman, and that he has never had serious interest in being with women, despite feeling like an ordinary male otherwise.
I would have to say that while AGP is great an all, it manifests to me like really great self-pleasuring, like a super porn addiction. Of course I would rather be loved by the hottest woman I can imagine, rather than favor this porn addiction like situation. It would also allow me to just be an honest, ordinary man. I've always said that for me AGP sits in between ordinary porn and PIV, and I think this is broadly true for sissy fetishists, and AGPs who are in a relationship with a woman more often than not.
On the other hand, /u/RMS-106 has no interest in having a wife or girlfriend, and purely wishes to be a woman. To me, this seems like a fundamental difference and an extreme difference. I don't feel that I can relate to this at all. Sometimes when my relationship is going through a rough patch, I will have a brief distrust towards all women like "all women will just end up hurting me", but that's a different thing, and that's as close as I can come to relating to not being magnetically attracted to beautiful women.
The notion that no woman companion could ever be amazing enough to win out over the dream of "being the woman" is a bold and very unusual thing for a straight male to claim, but despite that, there are a lot of AGPs who seem to have a foot on both sides of the line.
For example, any man who decides to transition to female, he might still attract women, but his odds of doing so become smaller as a woman. Suppose he has a wife or has had many girlfriends, why does he eventually cross that line, even if slowly over time? He's now essentially saying, I can be a better woman for myself than a real woman is, can be, or could be. Is it because of a change in his personality as years go by? Does he lose faith in what real women could provide him? Do online communities fill his head with ideas that just weren't there before?
So I'd like to ask, if you had a choice, magically become a woman, or magically "bump into, hit it off, marry and live happily ever after with the woman of you dreams", which do you choose?
The definition of AGP in the right-hand sidebar is inaccurate and misleading. It states that AGP is "a sexual attraction to feminine embodiment." This is ambiguous, because gynephilic males without AGP also experience sexual attraction to feminine embodiment as it manifests in cisgender females. Better to use Blanchard's original definition: AGP is "a male's propensity to be sexually aroused by the thought of himself as a female." This definition is accurate, unambiguous, and consistent with historical usage. The moderators should address this problem.
**\*\*Note:\*\* This post was translated from Japanese into English using a translation tool.**
I’d like to know the degree of gender dysphoria among AGP individuals in the AGP community on Reddit.
If you’re not AGP, please vote for “I’m not AGP.”
I’m starting to get tired of having an orgasm everytime I feel to be feminine. As only post nut clarity is one clear thing which makes me stay focused on my masculine life, I always orgasm whenever feeling of feminine comes. But my penis is also tired just like my mind to always go for it. I go out to public, sees women’s clothing or transgender in modern fashion, my focus shifts away to it wherever I go after that, and the only way to get rid of the feeling is to masturbate . I don’t know where this going. Anyone experienced similar thing?
Not really looking for advice but just need to vent some. The days I am not happy and not horny are kind of rare. I’ve dealt with depression for a long time, it’s definitely a brain chemical imbalance thing. I recently changed up my medications and Currently 2mg estrogen and 150 mg bupropion. I’ve all kinds of medications but this seems to actually help me. It has been great the last week. I’ve been happy and able to focus being productive instead of horny and depressed. I’ve kinda always known it steals so much from life, but this past week has just been good and shown me what I guess life would be like without being horny and depressed. Then today I get horny out of nowhere. It’s depressing how much time being insatiable horny has stolen from me. I don’t think sex is bad, and I love gay sex and straight sex and all kinds of sex, but it would be great to control when that gets turned on and off, instead of feeling like being horny hijacked the good day you were having. Like I need to finish laundry and cleaning my house but my mind is screaming at me to suck dick, I could work on the programming project I want to get further on, but I’m fighting with my mind to stay off Grindr. I am just telling myself “nobody on there actually wants a relationship and your time is probably better spent doing something more productive”. Like I want to be in love but I don’t want to be horny I guess. It’s tiresome.
I've been out of a job for a while now and I haven't been exercising or eating healthy either. Honestly I don't bother to brush my teeth half the time. I know I need to improve my situation and my health but I can't really seem to get the motivation to do it outside of a general sense of not wanting to die young. No matter what I do to improve my body will still be a masculine train wreck that only gets worse as time goes on.
awwwwww, check out what playgyalofficial has to say about hyperfemininity and neurodivergence.
in my opinion they are in the grey area between the two poles agp and hsts ....similar to extremely metattracted agp ...the gaygp instead is basically an hsts , so androphilic but lacking autoandrophilia ...this contributes to the interest of gaining some feminine sexual carachteristics...i have an mtf friend who is perfectly an example of gaygp....she is clearly androphilic because she had sex with hundreds of men ...and to have sex with hundreds of men you MUST BE androphilic by definition ... even the most metattracted agp i highly doubt would ever be willing to have sex with this large amount of men..however she got breast implants and she was obsessed with enlarging her areolas and nipples using noogle berry and breast pump ( which is an agp thing ) she said she was excited when her areolas got larger....this is a clear example that shows how some hsts can develop strang some anatomical agp traits....however this is not a real autogynephilia , but more like a pseudo form of autogynephilia ...because hsts completely lacks the ability of autosexuality ..they are extremely externally attracted people pleasing and allophilic. ...so the excitement described by my friend in enlarging her areolas is not something autosexual but clearly something related to the capacity to attracting men ....something similar to what cis straight women experience when they feel attractive......always remember that ...a self focused sexuality isnt autosexuality like we agp are
Hi all
I only just found out that Auto Gynophilia is actually a thing! I thought I was just kinky A/F!
I get such a thrill dressing and masking up as a sexy girl. I'm straight, or at least I think I am, however, femboys, sissies and Trans Girls turn me on.
I absolutely love dressing in tiny skits and short dresses. Even more so when I go out in public like it (although it's mainly at night time when it's dark).
I'm 34M and I haven't built anything in my life up to this point. I lived locked in my room under my parents for a really long time. I didn't go to college I only graduated hihg school and throughout my life all I've been doing in my 20s was to drink my sorrows, anxieties, depression and resentments away.
I couldn't even crossdress living with parents. Something which I enjoyed doing since I was a kid
But now since I moved to another country my life looks different and considering my whole life so far I feel like I've just come out from my parents shell.
And then I spent the last two years working in a trans bar as a hostess. Great thing about it was dressing up and being a woman. Bad thing about it was the constant drinking. It made me worry about my health continously.
I decided to stop working at it because I was worrying about my health and I was planning to study copywriting/marketing. But I havent made any progress in it for the last 4 years I've been thinking about doing it.
But now I feel like I should just give up on that career because they suggested me that if I haven't done anything to progress in that career then I should just give up on it.
But I have absolutely no idea about what do I wish to do as a career. And the only things that I can do now to gain money is hard labor jobs as a guy. But I could continue to work in transgender bars or as an TG escort
But im too skinny to do hard labor jobs. I'm way skinnier than the average healthy looking dude in my age. (I'm 164cm/50Kg) And I worry that i will not age gracefully being a dude with the current physique.
If I get to transition than at least it can help me boost my confidence because I look very good as a female.
I don't know what to do with my life and that's killing me with anxiety.
I've never felt the urge to jerk off in my life. Touching my penis in a sexual way always felt gross to me. I couldn't see myself having sex as a man. My AGP is a combination of transvestic, behavioral, and interpersonal types. Whenever I watched a sex scene, my mind would automatically put me in the woman's place during the act, so emulating female sexual passivity is exciting to me. Plus, I have to forget I have a dick to do it (by tucking). So I only started masturbating in my mid-20s through anal play, imagining myself having sex with a faceless man.
Is it common for an autogynephile to have only masturbated this way throughout their life?
then at least respect "her" enough to express appropriately, as if "she" was a real person, and whatever you are doing, "she" would have liked.
I simply do not understand why some people choose the shortcut of wigs and simply putting on whatever comes to hand, for temporary gratification, but not learn proper care, fashion etc etc.
I do not understand what is so fascinating about the s**y culture, it mostly makes me scratch my eyes out :(