u/Aerithic2

I have thought about making this post for a while and considering I just hit my 6 months I thought it would be a perfect time to celebrate. I have a lot I want to say so my post may be rambly, thank you to all who take the time to read it <3

A bit of background: I'm 27, I was cut as an infant, began transition in 2020, started HRT 12/30/20

After I started transition I had very mixed feelings on my genitals. I felt inferior to AFAB people for a long time, I felt that I had a lesser sexual experience them because of what I was born with. At the same time I knew that I would miss my penis if I got bottom surgery. It was truly a tough spot to be. I did research on penile preservation bottom surgery, but the results did not meet my needs from such a major endeavor.

I talked to my partner about it quite a lot, until I had the realization that I think I could have been happy with my genitals, if I had not been circumcised. This is brought a whole new path of pain, I googled "how to cope with not having a foreskin" and found this reddit. I started restoring that same day.

Immediately my bottom dysphoria was alleviated, or rather, it was changed. No longer did I long for a pussy, but instead I long for a foreskin. The difference is that one of those was far more actionable for me, and I wouldn't have to sacrifice the sex I have now for it. It has been such a blessing to not long for what is not achievable, being cis, and instead long for my future where I am content with my genitals.

Side note, circumcised girls get less results from bottom surgery as they have less tissue to turn into the labia, go fucking figure.

I think transition really prepared me for this journey, they are so similar. To start with both are long term if not life long journey's. You cannot rush transition, you cannot rush restoration, and everyone has their own pace. When it comes to the negative similarities, much of the pain of circumcision is bodily dysphoria. That incongruence with how you ought to be compared to how you are. There is a deep feeling of loss in knowing that you will never fully have what you wish you could have. But the only way forward is to do the best you can.

I have seen many T girls fall into spirals of self hate, hopelessness, and self hatred. I have seen posts here that follow similar trends. Worry of always living an inferior existence, especially in regard to having a frenulum as that is one of the things we cannot fully recover. It can become an obsession, and that obsession blocks our ability to accept ourselves as how we are. That is not to say that we should not be angry, but we must not blackpill ourselves into believing we can never be happy.

HRT has given me some interesting boons for my restoration. The biggest of which is that I lost around an inch of penis size from it. On HRT it is common for girls to struggle to get hard, and from that the penis atrophies. It fucking hurt and I lamented it a bit for a while. But when I started restoring I realized that gave me some "free skin" to work with. My other major boon from HRT is that it is super easy for my to 24/7 T-tape. I *never* get random erections even in the night so there is not worry of me hurting myself.

Another thing about being a T-girl is using vibrators. HRT is commonly thought to enhance the ability to feel from vibration, but a lot of it is also mindset. I would encourage restorers to try new things how sexually and get creative with their options. The feeling of having my innerskin and frenular area (even though my frenulum is almost all gone) lead me to orgasm has been so affirming that I can still have an enjoyable and dynamic sexuality. I can only imagine how much better it will be once I have DK. As well try shoving things up you butt. Full body orgasms and mind shattering orgasms are possible even with a desensitized penis. They took your foreskin but you can still learn to love your prostate.

The downside of being a trans girl restoring is that it can be really lonely. I haven't seen many posts or comments from girls who are willing to let their gender be known. This is already such a niche group, representation is hard to find. That is part of why I am making this post.

To my fellow lurking girls (Because I know you are out there.) Make your voice and unique experiences known. We can support each other through these unique struggles and perspectives that we hold because of our gender. We are stronger together and the more we are willing to out ourselves the easier it will be for the next person to. We are stronger together. I am especially interested if anyone else's bottom dysphoria was alleviated by restoration.

So yeah thanks for reading my post. I hope some of what I shared gave you a new perspective. Any comments are appreciated and as always, KOT.