My boyfriend (19M) has the life I (19M) always wanted and I don't know how to stop being jealous. Can someone give me some advice?
I've been with my bf for 7 months. He goes to a top uni, studies with a close group of friends who are always doing things together, travels abroad constantly (upcoming trips include hiking, whale watching, Hong Kong, South Africa), and just generally has this full, active, adventurous life.
Meanwhile I work 3 days a week, go to an alright uni, my friends are mostly online and rarely meet up in person and I couldn't afford to go to uni away from home so I genuinely feel stuck.
I know none of this is his fault. He's not rubbing it in my face but every time he mentions going out or a new trip I get this horrible mix of jealousy and anger and I end up being short with him when he doesn't deserve it. It's eating me up. I understand it's not emotionally mature and that it's not healthy to be in a relationship with a mindset like this, but I don't want to end it I just want to find a way to Improve myself.
I think the deeper thing is I'm grieving a version of my life I wanted and didn't get, the uni experience, the close friendships built around shared goals, the freedom to just go places. Watching someone I love have all of that effortlessly is a bit bitter sweet...
I don't want to resent him and every time he mentions one of his upcoming trips im genuinely happy for him but at the same time it chips at me.I want to actually build a life I'm excited about.
So I guess I'm asking:
- Has anyone felt this way in a relationship and managed to work through it?
- For people who felt stuck like this, what actually helped you start building a more fulfilling life? Especially if travel/money/friend groups felt like barriers?