feeling so much guilt over my mum’s ‘empty nest syndrome’ after getting married / rant
i just need to rant bcs my heart is feeling so heavy today.
i got married about five months ago and we’ve just wrapped up our wedding reception (husband’s side) two weeks ago. from our nikah until my husband’s side of reception, my mum seemed totally fine like she told me she didnt cry or get emotional during my nikah (not calling her out for it bcs i didnt cry too bcs i was soo giddish and excited to get married to my best friend) bcs she was too busy with work and the wedding prep. like even my parents and my brother didn’t cry bcs we were all so tired.
well i think the dust has finally settled and i think the emotional debt has finally come to collect.
me and my husband went back to my parents house (for context: we live in kl and my parents’ house is in shah alam) and we went back on Friday night instead of Saturday morning (like we always do) bcs we want to go to Taman Botanika the next morning. Before leaving the house, i noticed that my mum seemed a bit off like she’s not talking so much. so i texted my dad la like did i do anything is she okay.
then when i was cycling at the taman, my dad texted me.
he said gently explained to me that my mom has been incredibly sensitive lately, especially about the feeling of "losing" her children to marriage and adulthood (my brother’s getting married next year). he said she was sad because she wanted to spend time with me first, and she’s just processing a lot of bittersweet emotions right now. but he was incredibly sweet and mature about it like he told me he doesn't want to restrict me because I have a husband now, told me to enjoy my day, and said he would comfort her.
at first i felt guilty and a lot of things went through my mind, like ‘what went wrong? we still balik every two weeks, i still call her every week, i reply to all the tiktok vids she sent me and i still do send her tiktok vids as usual, i still talk in the fam group. so what went wrong’.
my husband told me that my mom probably suppressed all her sadness during the wedding, and now that it's been five months, maybe her brain finally has the quiet space to process the reality that ive moved on to a new chapter.
it just sucks. i love my mum so much and it hurts to know she’s going through this.