Newly diagnosed, unsure if I've ever been hypomanic though?
Hi! I went to a new psychiatrist, and I got diagnosed with Bipolar 2 yesterday. I just have a few questions because I am not sure whether I am in denial or what.
For context, my previous diagnoses were only major depressive disorder and anxiety, diagnosed at ~ 8-9 yrs old. I am 20 years old. I have tried many different classes of antidepressants, all to which have not been useful. I have never been stable more than like 6 months, if even.
My doubt is that I have ever experienced hypomania. In my head, my "good days" or what I call my "locked in" days are just like... good days. I am productive, I feel just in a super good mood, I feel fine going out of my comfort zone, I have the energy to hangout with people, etc. When I am in these positive moods, it only benefits me, and it isn't affecting my life negatively at all. But then I am also confused because hypomania can also be like irritability and impulsivity... that I do have, I have a cycle of getting new jobs, then after 2-3 months I quit impulsively because I would rather die than continue working there, even if I LOVEDDD the job at first and was super excited. I thought that was just ADHD. And its not like during the honeymoon phase of my new job doesn't have any bad days, I am just able to get through them. I thought hypomania was where you really don't experience the "bad days" during an episode?
To add on, my "locked in" days don't last the required 4 days, they only last like 1-2 days probably. But even then idk. My mood is just so flip-floppy, and I am very confused. This is so complicated to me lol.
Is it possible I could be experiencing hypomania instead of what I always thought were good days? If yes, then how do you even differentiate when you're having a "normal" good day vs being hypomanic? This is all so confusing, and even though I've done so much research, I still feel so lost. Thank you in advance!