I need to take it out somewhere
I didn't perform well in my 10th and 12th boards then took a gap year for NEET then joint a prestigious college (by cracking entrance exam with bare minimum marks) then dropped out of there in 3 years ( i was not able to handle academics ) took another gap year for NEET ( didn't perform well), now at the age of 22 (when all my peers are graduated , joining masters or doing job) while I am going to join another college in my hometown with peer 5-6 years junior then me. I am so lost have losted 5 years of my life just like that, my mom cried cause of me.
i don't know how to feel now. i feel dead inside as if someone is whispering in my year to do something that will make me sleep permanently and all this dilemma will end. i am such a failure.