Can't get things in
I'll start by saying I'm a virgin and had my first gyne appointment. I've been crying since that appointment because I'm disappointed with myself.
I've been in a serious sexless relationship for a WHILE, and I originally went to the gyne because I just couldn't get it in so I sought help. I can't get tampons in either. After the gyne got her finger in, she said I have pelvic dysfunction or spasms going on in there which won't allow penetration. We didn't end up doing a pap smear because she said it would cause me a great deal of pain. I don't think i would have needed the pap anyway with my history. She's sending me off to pelvic therapy (looks like I might have dilators with it); however, she said it will take a while before i get a call on scheduling. I so badly want a child within the next 2-3 years. My hole is very small, and I don't finger myself. I can't imagine a whole baby head coming out. I'm just so disappointed in myself. The left side of my vaginal canal (around 2 inches in) felt like it had a cut in it after the exam as if she cut it with long artificial nails. That burning stinging feeling lasted the whole day. She told me as of now, I can't have intercourse because it would cause excruciating pain. aaaand he's a very thick girthy guy.
Has anyone had this issue and fixed it? Any hope for me? Maybe I should force the tampon in there anyway for this next period cycle? I just don't know anyone with this issue, and I feel lost.