u/AffectionateStop7911

I am millennial , we usually do house parties drink and chill
And one day for a meeting i went to Apollo High street that too on Saturday

It was my first time seeing GENz ,
Mostly were thin as a wood , wearing sando and extemely loose pants , earings and all
I felt like i came out of the home after 10 years
But vibe was chill and happening. Even had a eye contact with a girl for long time until i had to go.. people can easily find dates there
How was your exp?
Do you like that place ??

I am a 30 year old man, and for the past few months I have been struggling with intense anxiety. Sometimes it gets so overwhelming that I feel like screaming at the top of my lungs, breaking things, or punching walls. The worst part is that I don’t even fully understand why I feel this way.
I am married, and I have an incredibly understanding wife. We hardly ever argue. We live in a joint family, and my family is quite orthodox. They expect my wife to follow traditional values and adjust to everything. She does her best, but she is human and can’t adjust every single time. Whenever I take her side, it often leads to arguments at home, and somehow she ends up being seen as the bad person. Maybe this is one of the reasons why I feel so emotionally exhausted.
A few years ago I got into trading, and I ended up with nearly ₹30 lakh in debt. In the last year, I managed to repay ₹22 lakh because I put almost everything I earned toward clearing those loans. I am proud that I paid it back, but at the same time it hurts because I sacrificed everything for it. I couldn’t even buy my dream bike.
I also used to have an amazing physique. I had six pack abs, woke up at 5 a.m. every day, meditated, went to the gym consistently, and honestly looked and felt my best. After getting married, life changed. We sleep later because I want to spend time with my wife, and my old routine slowly disappeared.
The biggest thing eating me from the inside is that I feel like I have completely lost myself while trying to keep everyone else happy. Every day I try to get my life back on track, but somehow I fail. Now I am married, and eventually there will be children. In my family, those decisions are driven more by expectations than by personal choice. Sometimes I feel like running away from everything because I don’t feel like I have any space left to live for myself.
I honestly don’t know whether I am looking for advice or simply trying to confess what I have been carrying inside for so long.
Has anyone else ever felt like this? How did you find your way back to yourself?