Have You Ever Felt Peripheral in your own Friend Group?
This might sound strange. But, for many years, whenever I am with any group of friends, including my own, I have multiple of my own, I always feel sidelined.
They are, all so focused on their own things, and creating joint projects or hangouts with each other. Some are solely online and often start voice chats together.
I join some of these, they invite me, yet, I feel talked over. They all have such interesting conversations with each other, but only briefly say something like "damn" or "cool" to me. Or I would feel like a cheerleader, I try my hardest to support them, but I feel like I never get focused on. Whenever I would like to share something it feels like they want to put their attention on other things instead.
Is it selfish to want to have someone focus on you for once? Or something you want? They try once or twice but it never sticks.
I know that I am often self concious, and back track easily. If I do not feel engaged enough in a conversation, I stop talking about it and lose steam very easily.
Am I just overthinking it? Maybe I am sabotaging myself. I have tried to bring it up once but nobody understood what I was talking about. Am I just uninteresting?
I don't know. I just others to talk to me.