i wanna break up w my bf so bad tho i love him
okk so we’ve been dating for 1.5 yrs now and out of that, around 1 yr and a month has basically been ldr. we hardly even meet since i changed scl and stuff. and honestly, i’m at a rlly crucial stage of my career rn, like it genuinely means ALOTTT to me. he’s 2 yrs older than me, so by the time i’ll be giving the exam that’s apparently supposed to decide my entire future, he’ll already be a sophomore in clg.
and i keep thinking abt how i prolly won’t be able to give him much time during those 2-3 yrs. he’ll be in clg, surrounded by new ppl and a completely diff environment, and i’m scared he’ll slowly lose interest or get closer to other girls and shi. like yes, i trust him but it also feels like it's quite obv to happen.
and the thing is i kinda wanna go completely underground for this exam cuz it honestly reqs that level of dedication and ik this sounds so weird cuz i love him SO much but at the same time i feel like breaking up. imagine literally manifesting a breakup LIKE WHAT?? dawg i cannot ugh i can't believe i’ve reached that level of insanity 😭 and i hate myself for it cuz i genuinely dk why this is happening.
i js feel like my life has gone a bit downhill afr i met him. like academically i used to be RLLYYY good bfr but now i feel like i’ve completely lost my spark and i hate myself for that every single day. and i rlly rlly wanna breakup w him… but i don’t wanna either. it’s so hard. i don’t wanna hurt his feelings, i don’t wanna be the bad news, and i’ve lwk been trying to make HIM say it first cuz i js cannot say it directly. i hate ts sm.
and it’s def not cuz i don’t love him. it’s js the situationi feel like honestly even thinking abt breaking up w him makes me wanna cry so bad cuz suddenly all the memories come rushing back and shi and i genuinely cannot imagine hurting that poor guy.
BUT THEN AGAIN WHAT IF HE FEELS THE SAME OMG 😭
HELP I ACTUALLY CANNOT DO TS ANYMOREEE
(edited)