u/Affectionate_Fox3521

Hey guys, I’m 23 and have the copper coil. I got it inserted almost 2 years ago and ever since have regular periods. They’re usually quite long ranging from 8-10 days due to the coil.

My partner doesn’t usually finish inside me very often but May and early June (espc when I was ovulating) he did often. My period was supposed to come 24th June and I wasn’t worried that it didn’t come because we’d just come back off holiday on the 18th June. However it’s now July 4th and still no sign of a period. (11/12 days late). The whole of June I have not had a period.

I took a pregnancy test on Tuesday 30th (in the afternoon) and it was negative - is it true that they can’t pick up early pregnancy if it’s not the first urine of the day?

The past 2 days especially I have been majorly lethargic - I’ve been passing out so easily which is not like me in the middle of the day. I can’t normally fall asleep without a podcast on but I’ve just drifted off without even realising anything to listen to (very off character for me). My sex drive has also been very low the past 2 weeks.

I am however getting on and off period cramps so am I possibly overthinking this whole situation? It’s just my periods are more or less like clockwork but perhaps I’m abit stressed and I don’t realise I am??

Any advice? Should I take another test in the morning or should I just wait? I have never been pregnant before.

So long story short, I reverted to Islam as a teen - I was homeless at the time and all my friends were Muslim so I feel like it was the right thing at the time. I wore hijab for 3 years and at one point was really strict in my faith. I went to uni in 2022 and took the hijab off 6 months later, 2023 I went on an international summer exchange and felt free for the first time in years. I dated, went the clubs and had the time of my life there - I felt like I could just be me.
At the time I told myself I was still Muslim , I still had the fear that I may go to hell for the lifestyle change. When I came back I moved in with my friend who was Muslim, so felt like I had to lie about my thoughts again.

In 2024 I was still in this weird grey area of feeling like I’m not Muslim but believing it was just shaytan and that I was a nasty person. But I started to question this more and more. I gave up smoking 🍃 (which I was doing on and off throughout the years) and felt like over time I was regaining clarity. However by this point I met my (now husband) who was still under the assumption I was Muslim through and through.

I fell in love. He wasn’t necessarily a strict Muslim (doesn’t pray much, has female friends which I’m ok with, goes the clubs but doesn’t drink, etc etc). The only thing he was strict on was eating halal and not drinking alcohol. A few months later he’d told his mum about me and she basically forced us into a nikkah… something I still resent her for because she rushed it so much it was chaotic, cheap and not what I wanted - it was all about her tbh.

Anyways this further reiterated my feelings towards Islam. It’s been almost 2 years since we had our nikkah and I’ve had a few glasses of wine behind my husband’s back which I feel guilty for. I also pretended to fast a few days because I just couldn’t be bothered during Ramadan. I just do not believe in the religion no more it’s so problematic and I was not emotionally mature enough to criticise the religion when I was younger. I feel like I was brainwashed. I shudder everytime my husband says “Salam alaykum” to me, when he says to people “we’re” Muslim. I feel embarrassment and shame.

I spoke to my husband about my feelings toward Islam recently. We spoke for a good hour - I brought up specific things I don’t like about the religion and he was clueless. He actually doesn’t know anything about Islam. Even as basic as who the Quran was revealed to!! I told him this was proof he was just blindly following what his mum raised him with, that he’s never been taught to question anything. Anyway I was positive about this conversation but that was 3 days ago and now he’s just acting like that was never spoken about. He’s actually started praying. Leaving the prayer mats out to (what feels) like a statement to me.

So yeah now I just feel even more unheard and more trapped. I don’t need to be saved. I haven’t been misguided. I don’t need to go on the right path. I am a woman who is willing to question my reality. I am a woman who believes I should have rights. I am a woman who refuses to be looked at like a piece of dirt like his mum does when I wear JEANS or a dress with my forearms showing (I am WHITE why would I wear cultural clothes?!).

I don’t know where to go from here. Me and my partner have a very loving relationship and he isn’t the typical strict Muslim man stereotype. But equally he lacks critical thinking in my opinion and does blindly follow what he was raised with because it’s easier than change. He likes routine. Islam is familiar and routine for him. He doesn’t know anything about his religion.

Thank you if you’re still reading… is there anyone who has been through anything similar? Any advice? What do I do? I can’t keep hiding this.