u/Afraid-Net-3056

so ive been really struggling with whether i wanna live or die for about 5-6 years, i am 13 almost 14. in 3rd grade id think of gabbing a knife through my chest and that feeling only grew as time went on, i dont know if this is depression or im just pyscho, now currently i take like tylonal because i get this big crying fits for liek 3 minutes and i atke it then i just go numb and i dont feel anything and ive kinda not told anyone since my parents dont beileive in depression and at other times i feel like im the happiest person on earth but one wrong word and im suddenly like wishing i was dead, if anyone could pin point what this is that would be great, doesnt really help i tend to pick at my skin and eat it sich as scabs till they bleed or nose picking which makes me look disgusting but its like a urge and ill eat whatever i pick off and it always tends to end with blood, someone pls help.