u/Afraid_Agency9563

ive been wondering for a long time if any zebras have a similar boobage situation to the one im dealing with. my skin, most notably and especially on my chest, is excessively stretchy - not uncommon for the stretchy skin disorder - weirdly, though, i don't have many other skin related issues common with hEDS (the variant of EDS that most of my doctors agree i probably have) like easy bruising, or skin ripping, or irritation.

instead, the way my skin stretches, specifically on my chest, it feels like nothing is connected underneath my skin in there, if that makes sense.
everything slips and slides around. when i grab and lift my boob, i can hold it by just the skin, and any fat in between my hand slips out.

this is particularly troublesome because i am trying to use trans tape after binding became excessively painful recently. i have been relying on Beau's tutorial, since i'm shaped quite similar, but unfortunately, his chest is a lot more solid than mine! it sags about the same, but it remains a solid shape when he folds it around into his armpit! mine, i fold it, and all the mass in there bulges out somewhere else. the best results i've got with my 5" wide roll from transtape.life looks more similar to the examples of a strapless bra configuration they advertise, under the 'lift' page. not the shape i want! at least i can say my chest is smaller, but it has ended up shaped more like boobs than my moobs looked like before.

next time i'll get a 7" wide roll and see if that's any better, but i'm curious to know if any of my fellow t boy zebras have similar experiences. or if any use trans tape and could maybe help me figure out how to apply it. especially considering the slippy and slidey nature of my breast tissue. i don't want to use 56" of my roll every time i reapply :(

NECESSARY BACKGROUND INFO
21 yo FTM on hormones for approaching 2 years. 5'2, about 180lbs, taking daily doses of amitriptyline (for depression), trazodone (for sleep), and omeprazole (for indigestion - too recent to be related to this long term pattern). prescribed hydroxyzine for as needed use for anxiety, hardly ever need to use it. for the past like 8 years ive had mostly daily caffeine intake of roughly 50 mg on a good day where i don't do much, sometimes 100 mg if i feel like having another cola with dinner, and on days where i work (which has been either hardly ever or up to three days a week for the past 2 years depending on if i'm enrolled in college classes) i will have 160 mg in the morning and Maybe 50 mg in the afternoon. intake through soda or redbull. my body works kinda funny because my doctors agree that i probably have a connective tissue disorder, and caffeine has a weird interaction with my brain and body too because i have diagnosed adhd. throwaway account because i already have an extensive digital footprint and i don't need my medical information added.

now, onto the question ; my pulse goes down when i drink my red bull.

it goes Up! when i take the ordinary recommended steps for lowering heart rate.

how do i know this?
anecdotal evidence first and documented data second because the anecdote is shorter
1: i get lightheaded when i intentionally slow my breathing.
2: i want to give my blood to the red cross. i yearn for the poke. they need blood and i'm a perfect candidate to give it to them (universal doner type shit), except for this. i have gone to blood drives repeatedly‼️ and been turned away. every time.

they take my pulse. a liiiittle too high to be able to take my blood from me. they give me a minute to calm down, do deep breathing exercises, take my anxiety medicine, chillax...and then they come back, and take my pulse again, and it's higher. i remember one recent time the exact number was just over 100bpm and then it rose to 107bpm (either 107 or 117?? 107 seems more reasonable)

what‼️ why!! i'm not even afraid of needles or giving blood! i've never had a bad experience, and the two or three times i was able to in high school, it was always a fun activity and i got to feel like i was helping and got some snacks and water. i inject myself with my testosterone every week with no issue. i have tried everything. deep breathing. meditation. taking my anxiety medicine in advance. watching youtube videos while they do the intake stuff because that's what i'd be doing if i wasn't there. every freaking time it comes back higher than before.

recently, on a different occasion than the one i mentioned above, i decided to get creative. i have adhd, caffeine makes me sleepy, it helps me regulate myself. went in on half a can of redbull. pulse too high, as to be expected at this point. more redbull in the interim. you'd never believe it. it actually went down. it was still like. 2bpm too high for me to be allowed to give blood. but it was progress, ok.

now - i have had a doppler echocardiogram done. not related to this dilemma, apparently i had to have one before i could get screened for hypermobile ehlers danlos syndrome. jury's still out on that, but i'm on a wait list. everything came back normal, there were no irregularities in my heart valves or nothing. quite typical when it comes to the zebra, labs coming back normal when something isn't right haha

my sister says this is a symptom of addiction. i'm willing to believe that, it's reasonable and wise, and i'm not gonna push back on that - but i'd still like to hear what other options there might be for an explanation. google has nothing for me except studies on energy drinks and the cardiovascular system that prove exactly the opposite of my lived experience.

i called the red cross to ask if they had any advice for me on how i could give blood successfully, and the lady on the phone was just as perplexed as i was. she told me that i should try to keep well hydrated, and that there might be a problem and i should see a doctor. i said that yeah, im quite certain there is a problem, i just don't wanna start that process of figuring it out right now. she laughed and said she understood that. you guys don't have to worry about that though. i don't have an aversion to seeing a doctor, and i will eventually, i'm just not prepared to right now. financially mostly, or transportation wise 😬

in the meantime, does anyone on this sub have any ideas what might be happening here? i feel like this is an interesting puzzle and might be entertaining. i think i'm best kept in a petri dish, personally.