u/After_Goose9337

My doctor ran some blood tests last year and everything came back relatively normal; I've only been working 3 jobs for the past year and I've been exhausted since 2 years before that. I'm concerned because it's developing to be more than just lightheadedness and fatigue. I've been getting headaches now and then, maybe pressure headaches? I'm not sure. I've been forgetting things and sometimes confusion on things I've known for a long time. At one job, I've done the same thing for 4.5 years. Lately there are times where I'm just genuinely confused on what I'm doing and I realize "oh yeah I'm helping a customer" or "that's right, I'm supposed to do this thing." Codes I've known for years like breathing I just can't remember sometimes. Like, I'll know the numbers but I can't seem to figure out what order they go in lately. I've had to use our cheat sheets for the first time since training.

I've noticed my limbs are kinda lagging behind what I'm trying to do as well. I have no idea if it's just part of long-term fatigue or what, but I'll try to open a bag like I've done for the past 4.5 years and my good hand just kinda doesn't do it and I rip the bag. There's flukes at work of course but not like what I've been doing. I'll be walking and my feet just drag (the top of my shoe is coming off the bottom now due to this); sometimes both, sometimes the right. And I'll try to turn and my body just pauses instead of turning. It's like there's a delay? I have normal days and I have bad days.

Does lightheadedness and fatigue do stuff like this if it's been going for years? What tests can I run?? I feel like I'm losing my mind.

would like to add; the other day I was working normally and my vision suddenly dropped kinda like stairs? like one level at a time I was going sideways. My head almost ended up on the table. I didn't fall or anything but I definitely had to sit down after that.

For the situation at hand, I need to explain:

I need to have surgery on my hand for something that can't wait. Due to the work schedule and people already being out, I'd need to wait til July for the surgery which it cannot wait that long. My best bet is having surgery on my day off, and having someone cover 1-2 days while I recover enough to be able to do anything at my work. My girlfriend and I work in the same department, similar shifts. She works Fridays with a coworker she does not like (we'll call him T), and I work with him 4 other nights a week. I got permission for a couple days off for recovery if I can get someone to cover my closing shift, which would be her.

I explained and asked if she could do it, 1 extra day closing for the entire year (she knows how to close, usually she's a mid shift). She said she can't, because she has limits and "just can't do it" because she would be working with T, who she doesn't like because he talks too much. As far as I know and from what she's told me, he's never done anything to her except talk a couple times a day. They don't even talk hardly, he mostly talks to me when we're all working together. After we discussed it somewhat, she seemed totally fine with the idea of me having surgery on my hand then showing up for a hand-heavy job the next day. That's what I don't understand, and she won't go further into detail other than "I have my limits, I have to take care of myself too."

* Note: I don't expect her to cover my shift at my command, I'm just not understanding.

I'm having so much trouble wrapping my head around this, it feels like she doesn't care what happens to me. I know that's not true, but that's the only way I can explain this and how she's so okay with me going through that. I think I need to hear some voices with Autism. Is she overwhelmed at the thought, or does she not fully understand? She said it's not because of her routine change, then what's wrong? How can I better understand her if she's not explaining further??

EDIT: I will share what I said in another comment:
I think I initiated the conversation too soon after asking something that heavy; based on other comments and her actions around T, I think she genuinely has a hard time working with him due to him being an overstimulating person for her. I'll give her a couple days and see how I can make some productive conversation about what she's feeling, on her terms.

*As for work, I did reach out to my manager and I offered different dates in May for the surgery. None of them worked out as we're short-staffed by several people already being on vacation, medical leave, etc. It's a two-person-minimum job unfortunately, so if one isn't there then our job has to close early or overwhelm the remaining person. No OT of course, so everything has to be done on-time. It's an unfortunate situation.

**Regarding the medical side of things, it's not an I'm-going-to-die kind of surgery or anything dramatic. It's for my trigger finger, which has gotten to a point where I need help to release it once it becomes locked. I'm in the stages of losing hand grip strength [which leads to dropping lots of things] and constant pain in my hand and other fingers that affects my ability to use my hand overall at all of my jobs. I had the steroid shot about 4 months ago but it didn't solve the issue, so surgery was highly suggested and soon.

***Finally, neither me or my girlfriend are the villain here. The post was from my point of view on the situation, but the question was to help me understand her point of view on the situation. I love my girlfriend and I know she loves me in the way she offers me her own version of love languages. I'm grateful for the variety of thoughts that have been provided to help me see her world.

*EDIT 2: After a lot of thinking and consideration, I will not be going forward with the surgery at this time. My girlfriend is not equipped to handle any of my absences and if I go back to work the day after the surgery, I'm not able to take the brunt of customers or workload to meet her needs. Thanks to everyone who reached out, even with different opinions. I'll keep doing exercises and maintaining pain meds and see where it goes.