I thought it was a typo, but I was unable to review it because Amazon PULLED it and the ETV was returned.
Yup… Ass Shovel Hoe. 😂
I clicked on it without realizing what it actually was—it’s a handheld hoe! And that little piece is just the spare bolt and nut in case the other one breaks.
I doubt this piece of junk will last very long anyway! 😂 Rats! A MISSED opportunity to review!
(Yes, I used ChatGPT to put the emojis all in - too lazy to do it)
😭💔⚰️💀💥😱😫😢😢😢😡🤯🙈🚨📦🍋🥭🌳🔥🙏👽🛸🌌😂❤️
When my parents' old dehydrator DIED... 💔😭
And when I say OLD... I mean OLD! 😲 It was bought back in 1973 from Montgomery Ward! 🏬📦
Once the "kids" (my little sister and I 😂) had grown up and moved out, that dehydrator sat all alone... tucked safely back into its original box, covered with a clear plastic garbage bag. 😢📦🕸️
One day I stopped by my parents' house and asked if I could borrow it.
👨 Dad: "It's yours! Take it!" ❤️
From the Fall of 1982 all the way until Spring 2026... that dehydrator became MY BABY! 🥹❤️
🦌 Deer jerky...
🥩 Beef jerky...
🍎 Apples...
🍌 Bananas...
🍓 Strawberries...
🥭 COUNTLESS mangoes...
🍍 Pineapple...
...you name it, that machine dried it!
It NEVER let me down. 💪❤️
Then came mango season. 🌳🥭🥭🥭
I sliced up a huge batch of fresh mangoes, loaded every tray, plugged it in... ⚡
...walked away...
...came back a little later to check the temperature...
😳🤨🤔
ROOM TEMPERATURE.
😱😱😱😱😱
I am pretty sure the entire neighborhood heard me scream...
I'm also convinced the aliens heard me... 👽🛸🌌😂
I actually CRIED. 😭💔
I hugged that old machine like I'd just lost a family member. ❤️🤗
Never... EVER... did I think THAT dehydrator would finally "give up the ghost." 👻💔
Sure... it had battle scars.
🩹 Cracks in the lid that I carefully glued together.
☢️ That old-school plastic that today would probably have ten California cancer warnings on it. 😂
🛠️ One tray missing because years ago my little guy decided Dad's wire cutters would make the perfect tool to build Matchbox & Hot Wheels ramps. 🚗💨🤣
It originally had 6 trays...
I babied the remaining 5 like they were priceless antiques. ❤️
Those old metal trays never even rusted. They were built to LAST. 💪
I ended up finishing the mangoes in the oven...
🥭🔥
It worked...
...but it just wasn't the same. 😔💔
Then I looked outside...
🥭🥭🥭🥭🥭🥭🥭
Over 1,230 pounds of mangoes had to be GIVEN AWAY. 🎁
Another 400–500 pounds were already on the ground... half-eaten by squirrels, raccoons, birds, and every other hungry critter around. 🐿️🦝🐦😂
And I'd already thrown away bag after bag after bag...
🗑️ 50–60 pounds at a time.
🤦♂️🤯😫😭
Normally I'd be running that dehydrator nonstop, filling quart and gallon bags with dried mangoes.
My Spanish neighbors ❤️🇪🇸
My Asian neighbors ❤️🥰
Two Spanish restaurants 🍽️
A Thai restaurant 🇹🇭🍜
Everyone waits for mango season every year.
Instead...
💔 Silence.
THEN...
✨🍀🙌🥹🙏
The Vine Gods must have felt sorry for me! 😂🌿
Out of nowhere, I found a brand-new dehydrator with a fan, digital controls, and all the bells and whistles! 🎉⚡🥳
It arrived Tuesday!! 📦🚚🎊
It's definitely not the same as my faithful old 1973 Montgomery Ward warrior... ❤️🥹
Nothing ever will be.
But here's hoping this new one helps me carry on the tradition. 🥭❤️🙏
And yes... THIS is why I haven't been online much lately! 😂🤣
#RIPDehydrator 😭💔
#BuiltToLast 💪
#MontgomeryWard 🏬
#MangoSeason 🥭
#JerkyLife 🦌🥩
#OldSchoolQuality ❤️
#NewBeginnings 🌱
#FruitExplosion 🥭🤪
#TheLegendRetires 👑
#ThanksDad ❤️
Or are you going to celebrate 250 years?
Today - Thursday - ordering large batches of food
Friday's going to be a busy day for me. Prepping and baking Food.
Saturday -
Late morning: Smoking and BBQ
Afternoon: prepping food plates to deliver to Elderly and Senior Citizens
Evening - Ta ra ra BOOM de ay!
SUNDAY: Church in early AM (Special Edition - church starts are sunrise!) Rest of day & night: sleep and recuperate!
VINE? Maybe I could squeeze in a break then or now.
It was the above-ground container... (If you saw those and they went poof—you have the right to blame me and call me a pig...)
Here's the thing: I wrote to the seller to inform them that the container that was delivered was missing all the screws and wingnuts.
The seller apologized and stated:
We be sorry. We angry with production! Very disappoint! We ship everyone missing nuts and screwed them that failed. Patient be quite and still. We ship them to right away.
That order was placed near the end of January, and it arrived on February 13th.
While the ETV was fair, reasonably priced at the time, they've since gone through the roof. Today they're nearly twice what they cost when they first came out, likely due to the quality of the metal, the ease of assembly, and how well they hold up.
Time was running out, and I finally had to contact Vine CS to have the item removed from my review list. It was a three-pack, and I couldn't properly review it with all the screws and wingnuts missing.
By that point, I had drilled out the holes to make them larger and purchased my own screws and nuts at a cost of $98.44 for the hardware alone. GRRR! Only Ace Hardware carried what I needed. Lowe's, Home Depot, Walmart, and the commercial fastener suppliers either didn't carry the small sizes or only sold them in tiny packs of two or three pieces for $20–$30.
Even after paying out of pocket, the containers themselves continued to increase in price.
In April, near the end of the month, the seller wrote back:
We sorry, very sad. Crying many tears. Production failed! Production experienced our wrath. Our business is vaporized. Production send missing screwers and chicken winglets. Ship to port come today, be expelled in morning!
Then, in May, the seller wrote again:
We new name acquired by due process. In a full rage at the deportation held them in custody. Paperwork failed! We fix paperwork, being punished and order to march to delivery!
Today, a big heavy bag finally arrived via USPS. It had apparently been opened by Customs at least two or three times, judging by all the green "PASS" stickers plastered across it.
Inside were enough screws and wingnuts for twelve containers!
Alas, I have no need for them now. I put them all into a couple of old Gerber baby food jars in the garage. Between the screws and the wingnuts, both jars are filled right to the brim.
So, I learned that the value of those screws and wingnuts is probably worth more than $200 if I sold them off in small batches.
Hmmm... the temptation is great!
If so - and your first name is Andrea and last name starts with S ....
It arrived to my house!
https://www.amazon.com/Intex-Rectangular-Saltwater-Maintenance-Volleyball/dp/B07F39F6Z5?th=1
I already alerted CS... What's so weird is... it arrived badly damaged too!
If you ordered it and it shows as delivered... report to Vine CS...
Labels were badly damaged!
Lesson learned:
An Alaskan-size bed is BIGGER than a California King!
Grabbed one from Vine in 2008 or 2009… and then discovered the nightmare of finding sheets and comforters. Good luck with that! They’re insanely expensive. At one point, I actually sewed together a California King fitted sheet with a Full-size sheet just to make one that fit.
Twice, I managed to get California King Mattress - just perfect and divorce cost me my beloved bed. (My ex took one and sold it. He was held in contempt by the judge — the first time. By the end of it all, he’d been held in contempt three times and eventually landed in jail.)
After the divorce, I downgraded to a Queen size and have gone through three mattresses over the years.
Lately, though?
I’ve somehow been getting a bunch of crib mattress or twin size!
HELLO, VINE GODS — I NEED A QUEEN-SIZE MATTRESS!
Went so far to book mark a half of dozen QUEEN and KING size mattresses, Bedding sets, in vain to attempt one to fall on my lap!
BACK IN THE OLD DAYS...
SELLERS/MANUFACTURERS did stuff ILLEGALLY!
A Vine Voice would often receive more than what was expected. Accessories/Attachments - BUT THEN THERE WAS THIS "LETTER" OR POST CARD included:
Some of my fondness memories lies with the cards and letters in regard to the product(s)!
______________________________
^(Hello!)
^(We hope you enjoy our product. We’ve also included additional accessories/attachments to complete the set. When leaving a review, please evaluate the entire package, including the included accessories/attachments.)
^(If you have any questions or concerns, please contact us at (email address or visit our website at (http address). We value your feedback and appreciate your honest review.))
^(If the product does not meet your expectations, please reach out to us at (another email address so we can help resolve the issue.))
^(Sincerely,)
^(PRODUCT Management Team)
__________________________________
Sometimes the writing would be "perfect" and sometimes it will NOT! Sometimes you had to decipher!
Yes, we've gotten threatening messages left for us!
Such as:
___________________________________
^(Hi! Enjoy product we give you. Free stuff also included. Keep you all of them! We not ask for return.)
^(Leave star 5 feedback please! If you don't we police call and report our stuff as stolen and locked up in jail you will!)
^(Maria (or some other fake name)**)
^(Production Project Supervisor)
_____________________________________
IN RARE CASES - The Seller also SHIPPED CASH, or COUPON CODES! Just to push for a 5 star flawless review (while I had never been the "lucky" ones to get cash, but I've gotten tons of codes)
___________________________________
^(Hello! Glad you got our product! The world's best! We also give you Amazon Codes: worth $75.00 [codes provided: xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx]. Leave 5 star review and 5 star feedback! If we find that you failed to leave a 5 star. We will report you to Amazon for stolen codes!)
^(Betsy)
OR
^(Hello, In the manual, you will find 3 - USD $100. Free to you, leave star 5 reviews! We no-tell Amazon, it's our secret!)
^(Product Manufacturer!)
_____________________________________
It were these letters that got many Vine Voices KICKED OUT and BANNED from Amazon and Amazon Vine!
While I know who this person is, he's long passed away. A Vine Voice, he wound up calling his local authorities. WHY? The RV Air Conditioner contained xx pounds of Marijuana! (Product came from Mexico)!
He did post the image of the letter and contents (But the Amazon Vine Admins -removed the links and claimed it was a "violation" of their policy.) and I was ONE of the few that actually saw it!
LETTER SAID:
^(Greetings, Neighbor!)
^(We are delighted to provide you with your new RV air conditioner. Installation instructions are included in English for your convenience. We have also extended the warranty from 5 years to 10 years!)
^(Before using the unit, please remove the back panel. Inside, you will find a few complimentary items we have included for you to enjoy. They are yours to keep!)
^(Thank you, and we hope you enjoy your new RV air conditioner.)
This was in regards to the USB - Type C charger which melted. Reported to Amazon and Vine CS, received a "thank you" for the alert. The product was no longer available. While I placed the one and only review with photos.
Got this message from the Seller (no worries - Reported!)
But when I translate it - eh?
Dear Vine Reviewer:
You utterly clueless amateur reviewer! You’ve cost me the sex services I provide to everyone! The performance of my electric products far surpasses your review—which is as terrible as "gassy excrement." May the fiery breath of the Toxic Dragon be unleashed upon every single person in the United States of America! All because of those disgusting pornographic photos, I am now facing the humiliation of being fired! Delete those photos immediately! Retract that report right now! I’ll pay you $100!
Yanpen
Gassy Excrement? As in Diarrhea? My Chinese neighbor had moved away and I can't turn to them to translate it! I have no idea if that Seller was providing "sex services" (after all it was a USB C charger) and didn't know that USB C photographs were considered porn?
I am both Amused and Confused!