Is it wrong to reach out to a previous ex after different breakup for closure before trying to work things out?
A week ago I broke up with my gf (Ex 2)of 6 months (known her for about 2 years).
For context: We were FWBs about 4 months after I broke up with my previous gf (Ex 1) of about 3 years. My relationship with Ex 1 was very whirlwind and passionate but there were internal issues that needed to resolved. While FWBs with Ex 2, Ex 1 and I tried intermittently to work things out around the same time (not a great idea). They’re about as different as 2 people could be personality wise. It was a mistake trying to deal with two people at once but I was lonely and couldn’t fully let go. I wanted the physical connection but it turned into a deeper emotional connection and love that I wasn’t prepared for. It hurt both of us not being able to be fully available and things fell off. Around the same time things came to a head with Ex 1 and she broke things off definitively. I spent several months alone or having semi-casual sex until I rekindled my relationship with Ex 2.
We spent time dating after not being aligned for a while and we eventually got together. I finally embraced how I felt. It’s been great I forgot how much I could care about another person. However Ex 1 hit me up a few months ago and tore that wound open again. Telling me that she wanted to explain why she cut things and how she missed me. It hurts because I felt I made peace with what happened and never hearing from her again but she opened it up again and offered me everything I thought I wanted. I told her I’m in a relationship and let my gf know. It was hard bout I wasn’t willing to throw my new relationship away after so long without contact.
I went on with my relationship but 6 months later I broke up with my gf. It was a combination of impulse, dissatisfaction with myself, and shame for how messy things started with us. It’s been over week later and I feel like I’ve made one of the biggest mistakes of my life (and I’ve made a lot of mistakes) she’s one of the smartest, most genuine, and kindest people I’ve ever met. However, now that I’m single I feel an urge to reach out to Ex 1 to hear her out and get that closure. That feeling disgusts me but I feel as if it’s important. I want my gf back but it feels wrong to try to mend things without first addressing this feeling. I know there’s no guarantee I’ll get my gf back but is it wrong to reach out to my previous ex while in this gray area if I feel as if I can lift some of that weight off my chest. Advice? Has anyone been through something similar?