u/AggravatingLuck2140

I'm a 35f and have had a couple instances when prior associates blocked me on facebook without any clear reason as to why.

Several years ago it was my direct manager. She is about 10 yrs older than I am, I never disrespected her. I always did what she asked. One day one of our associates posted something on facebook and tagged my manager in it, and I realized I could not click on her name. She was friends with me prior to that, not sure exactly when she blocked me as I'm not on social media too much.

More recently, a former associate got tagged in something and I noticed I could not click on her name. She's roughly 10 years younger than me. I haven't spoken to her since the day I moved locations, which was 2 years ago. Maybe she blocked me back then and I never noticed.

A third former associate blocked me a couple years ago. She had an issue with me that I could not understand. At one time we were friends. She worked at the same location as my prior manager. Not sure if that had any connection. I have since transferred her son into my new department (when I moved to this location he expressed interest in transferring) and I have trained him and am assisting him in getting a promotion. Now his mom has unblocked me because she just appeared on my "friends you may know"

I'm open to any constructive criticism. It's been a surprise every time to see this, and it makes me wonder why. I don't think I've ever blocked anybody on social media so I guess I just don't understand it

Lately I've been trying to step back from doing things with my bf's daughter and do more of my own thing. Not quite nacho but just a step back.

Yesterday as soon as my bf left the room his daughter (10yrs old) asked if we had any medicine because her stomach hurt. I said what I've been saying to questions, "I don't know, let's ask your dad". She immediately says "I know where it is" and finds it within about 5 seconds. Later in the day she came to me to tell me she's hungry, I said "me too, what's your dad gonna make us for dinner?"​. She doesn't go into the kitchen until I do, and then she's suddenly right behind me asking if she can have something. Today it was to ask for popcorn, as I'm trying to prepare something that I was already in there making, she's asking how long to put it in the microwave and I'm just like "I don't know, you have to read the instructions".​ I'm trying not to be rude or make her feel like I don't want to help her, but why am I getting all these questions when her dad is just in the next room?

Also if there's anything she wants to do, she tells me. If she wants to go get ice cream, she tells me. I say "you'll have to ask your dad, I don't want to answer for him". This morning she told me she wanted to go ice skating. She asked me when we can go to the pool or beach again. I'm like "I don't know, whenever your dad is free and able to go".

I work close enough to home that I come home on lunch break to let my dog outside and eat. I literally have to tell her I can't talk til after I walk the dog and heat my food because the very moment I walk in the door, she's talking my head off and I can't do anything but stand there and listen. It's to the point where I walk into my own house with a running start so she can't stop me.

Last time she visited I was very over stimulated, i work 10hr shifts a lot so i sat in my car for a few minutes after getting home to gather myself and have some peace. She comes running out to the driveway tapping on my car window and waving.

I've talked to my bf about it and he says she just loves me and she's at the age now where she would rather hang out with a girl that hang out with her dad. I don't think that's true though. I told him i can never replace a parent and i feel she's lacking attention. At one time i would do more with her because i could see she needed the attention, but at this current time in my life I'm being pulled in different directions and I'm burnt out with giving her constant attention every other weekend.

Am i being too harsh or am i right to be burnt out and overwhelmed?

My bf and I live together and he has his daughter every other weekend, and split holidays and summers. She's 10 years old.

Recently I was reorganizing my bathroom cabinet because I bought a new organizer with drawers and stuff. I laid out all my things (everything from hair accessories, dental stuff, makeup, skin care, etc.) on my bed. I stopped when everybody woke up to go make breakfast. As I'm cooking bfs daughter comes into the kitchen to tell me she organized my stuff by brand and put some of it away for me. I have a problem disciplining her so I think this part is on me, I could have told her not to do that but I just said oh ok, I'm going to put all of those things away when I'm done cooking, thank you though. She was excited and had already done it so I felt very awkward.

She comes back a few minutes later with an eyeshadow kit, opened and pointing out to me the one that she likes. I said yeah I like that one too, you just have to keep it closed so we don't accidentally touch it with dirty fingers, or drop it.

We have had issues in the past with her getting into things that aren't hers. The way the kitchen is set up, bf had a cabinet for him and his daughter and I have a cabinet for me and my son (adult age, starting college this fall). She is so comfortable in my home (which I love, to a point) that she will just open up my cabinet (she knows the difference between the two) and take something out, asking if she can have it. She'll then want to go ask my son if she can have it because it's usually his snacks that she finds.

I used to buy stuff for her when I grocery shopped, however every week I send my bf a bill for his portion of the food, and when I was buying things for her he would complain the bill was too high. So I said fine, buy her lunches and snacks yourself. I should add that she is very picky and won't eat about 90% of anything I would normally cook. I used to buy quick things i know she likes because of this. Now she never has anything when she gets here so she starts rummaging through my stuff. My bf will come ask can she have these chips? And i say sure, but this is why i used to buy her stuff. Because now somehow i am the one that doesn't have a snack.

She will also take my phone if i leave it on the counter, and hide it from me. To her it's all in good fun, to me it's annoying. I've asked her not to. She will try to see my lock code when i unlock my phone and i have to tell her you don't do that, it's rude. She will grab my phone if i sit it down and try to unlock it herself. I have gotten texts before and if she's sitting next to me she'll say who's that? Or she will try to read it. I explain to her why that's not acceptable. My bf also will tell her and has talked to her multiple times.

How do i set firmer boundaries without sounding like an evil step mother?

For context we've been together for several years and live together. He has 2 children, one is older and the youngest one is elementary school aged. She's over at our home every other weekend, and split for holidays/summer break.

I've always tried to plan fun things to do, I have an adult child so there's nobody in the home for bfs daughter to play with. If I don't plan it, we don't do anything. Even something as simple as the park or a trampoline park. It won't happen unless I plan it.

If I don't plan anything, I somehow end up being the one playing games/playing pretend etc. He will be working on a project (hobby) and I will be trying to cook, clean, or relax and I'll be the one to get asked to play hide and seek or play a video game. It's cool for a bit, but it's turned into me having a hard time getting anything else done on those weekends.

Or he'll take a nap (he works long days) and while I would normally take my dog for a walk or read a book, his daughter will come ask me to snacks, lunch, to go do something, etc. I don't mind occasionally but it's like she'll come to me before she will ever go to her dad and I don't understand it. I work long days also and while I don't normally nap, I would like to relax.

She has several younger siblings at her moms house so I'm guessing she's not getting the attention she needs there and she's craving it while she's at our home. I have talked to bf about this and told him that even though she does tend to go to me first, he's her dad and the reason she comes to our home is to spend time with him, not me. I should be the extra, or the bonus. Not the primary person.

Am I wrong to expect him to be doing things with her so I can just tag along instead of being the planner, or should I be working towards accepting this seeing as we are living together and will more than likely get married in the next couple years?