u/Aggravating_Cost_965

I think I may know, might be overstock with the amount of assassin snails, 30G have 12 Corys ( adopted mix ) groups of 3, one crowntail, 7 normal lampeye and another adopted Sia Algae eater called jimmy. I’m running two filters.

The issues Believe might be linked to the breeding of amano shrimp, I can see around 20/30 in the tank, and I counted 70 assassin snails…… mix of baby’s and adults, also have bladder snails.

I’ve only notice spikes after water change, 50% - all the assassins come out, pre this level of assassins water change every week T 25% and levels seemed fine.

I know assassins don’t effect bio load too much, but 70 ? nitrite levels spike then go down after 2 days. Use prime, so I’m guessing an ammonia spike after water change, could be linked to the assassins all coming out ?

Advice on next steps and the dilemma. We have been together 8 years, I guess I write this as it happened around my birthday. Ie today 🤦🏻‍♂️

Will keep the betrayal info limited, i decided to try work through what happend. Got thearpy, focused on myself in terms of gym and overall mindfulness. However after going through this I understand how the aftermath of the betrayal was quite messed up. Ie wasn’t aloud to talk to anyone in the family for her reputation. She did get quite physical when mentioned/triggered by events. This lasted around 4 months. Only recently do I understand how messed up it was.

I recently told my parents. My dad stated to keep trying for my daughter who is 6, who is my focus. However - my partner has a lot of negative traits, anger being a main factor. Ie will get angry over something then apologise 15 minutes later. When the point was to repair a relationship these aspects keep rearing its head.

She does state often why am I still getting triggered by certain things and make an issue out of everything when a trigger occurs. Resulting in anger from herself.

In terms of trust capacity; obviously it’s quite fractured. In my work capacity I am problem solver, I fix business that are broken and make them profitable, help staff turn around. Issue is I see positive in everyone and try help them.

When I reflect from a long term perspective, I don’t see it. I always still get triggered, despite CBT therapy and all these elements and her behaviour in terms of what I may call narcissistic?

My concern is my daughter, her stability remains with me ie the place we live, is tied to my role. My parents have stated to
Think of my daughter and keep trying.

When do you think it’s time ? When those can’t be helped.

Spikes after water change. Assassins the reason ?