That first social step is probably our Achilles heel
Recently on Twitter ("X" can burn in hell) I read a story of a very accomplished, well spoken man who struggled with initiating conversations. I felt I understood it on a personal level. If you have time, read it quickly and let me know what you think.
"i watched a man who sold his company for $300 million stand at the edge of a pool in spain for 40 minutes bc he could not work out how to join a conversation
n im not exaggerating the number. i checked the time twice bc i couldn't believe it was still going
he wasn't shy either. talked to him later, sharp as hell, ran a company w 200 ppl in it, has a better life than everybody reading this including me
he just could not walk 11 feet
what he actually did, n u will recognize every single one of these:
- got his phone out. nobody texted him. he read a screen he wasn't reading
- did a lap. went to the bar, got a drink he didn't want, came back to the exact same tile
- laughed at a joke from 15 feet away. the group didn't hear it. he laughed alone at something that wasn't for him n i felt that one in my chest
- waited for a gap. theres never a gap. he was waiting on an invitation that a group of ppl mid-conversation has no way to send
- fixed his watch. twice
then around minute 38 somebody's girlfriend clocked him, said "are u gonna stand there all night," n pulled him in by the arm
n he was FINE. instantly. talked for 2 hrs, told a story that killed, everybody liked him
he could do the conversation. he'd been doing conversations for 40 yrs
what he could not do was the 11 feet
heres the part that should sit w u
that man has solved harder problems than u have ever attempted. he made a call at 34 that most ppl would need a yr of therapy to make. he has been the most competent person in every room he's entered since 2011
n he has never once been in a room where competence was the currency
thats the whole thing. he maxed a stat in private for 15 yrs then walked into a place where nobody can see it n theres no legal way to bring it up. so he stood there holding the best hand at the table w no way to play it
everybody at that pool assumed he was quiet bc he thought he was above it
he was standing there trying to work out how to say hello"
Competent, surprisingly well spoken, commits themselves to harder problems than the average person, yet can't bridge that gap to the first conversation without someone recognizing them first.
Or even beyond that, struggles to get a job, but becomes almost indispensable the moment they get the opportunity.
Or creates this master plan of a business structure that holds up surprisingly well against reality (easier to do with AI), but struggles to get started for months/years because the first step has a fuckton of friction.
Anyways. My mind ran away with this concept. I wonder if y'all can see it too. This story just felt weirdly familiar to me.