I have barely slept and im already exhausted from school. I can barely keep up with my own emotions and I just started crying because I woke up an hour before I have to get up for school and I’ve barely slept at all. And now I’ve cried so much that I’ve missed that hour and and I can’t stop crying but I have to go to school now
I really hate being friends with her. No hate to her, she’s a good person but like she always has to be the centre of attention. No matter what I do, everything is about her, I don’t want to sound like some kind of attention seeker but I just want something to be about me for once.
Like everything that happens to me has to either happen to her too or she has to overshadow it somehow. I made a friend, she wants to add him on Snapchat. We barely talk anymore because he’s busy calling her all the time. I dyed my hair, she dyed her hair in the same spot a week later and made everyone comment on it and her new hair was the only topic anyone was talking about for weeks. I got a good grade in a subject I was really struggling with, she starts talking to everyone about her grades seconds later to overshadow it. I dyed my hair again and apparently it’s the same hair dye she used a few months ago. It’s not even the same brand. As soon as anyone comments on the fact that I have bright fucking pink hair, she has to start ranting about how she used to have that hair colour and that I just took her hair colour.
When we were walking home from school today she started talking about how she should dye her hair that colour too so we can match. I don’t think she realises that we won’t be matching, I’ll just look like I’m copying her even tho I had it first.
I really really hate being friends with her bc nothing I do can ever just be about me. She’s constantly drowning in attention and affection and boys like her and just everything all the time, she’s constantly the centre of attention and i get nothing. I’m honestly so fucking sick of it. I can’t even leave her either bc we are in the same class and the last time I tried that, suddenly all of my friends hate me and as soon as I was friends with her again they came back. Nobody likes me for me, they “like” me because I’m friends with her.
Today I got news that I’m gonna be seeing my old therapist again that I had to stop seeing for reasons but now I can again and she was honestly great. I told my friends in this group chat im in because I was so excited about it and they were happy for me and then she sees the text ofc and just has to type “mine hates me. She hasn’t seen me in weeks” school guidance counsellor that she doesn’t schedule appointments with, she just shows up there. And then everyone was going on about how she’s loved and stuff and all the attention was back on her again. It’s been like this for years now and it sucks