32 F, 5'5", 173 lb, 6 months, diagnosed with anxiety & depression, lexapro 20 mg, propranolol 60 mg ER, vitamin D supplement. No recreational drugs.
TLDR: Pretty sure antidepressant pooped out and don't know what to do next.
Since last year I've been dealing with not being as interested in activities, feeling like something is off, crying a lot, and overall just blah. After a really bad day at work in January which caused me to have panic attacks and feeling even worse, my lexapro was upped from 10 mg to 20 mg. I thought this would fix it since the last time I had felt similar increasing my lexapro helped me. Well it's been 3 months and I don't feel any better. I've had blood tests done, CT scans, everything coming back normal for me. My psych wants to add Lamitrogen & abilify but i am TERRIFIED of akathisia. But if I don't take anything I will still feel like this with little improvement. I have no appetite due to being so on edge. I'm frustrated because my lexapro had fixed me and I was able to get back to life but this time it hasn't. I quit my job, only leave the house for dr's appointments, and lay in bed all day. I have 0 motivation, no excitement, no happiness, just crying all the time. This is not like me. I'm currently in therapy and she is great, I just feel like this is chemical at this point. If i take the new medicine and get akathisia they don't have anything to stop it. I've read all the stories of the medicine and how people get it and are still stuck with the horrible disease. At the same time I need to make a decision because I want to get back to living. I'm just tired of not feeling like myself. This is the worst my depression & anxiety have ever been. Also, my benzos stopped working as well as they used to so I had to quit those as well since my pcp does not want me to rely on them. I'm confused as what to do next. I just want to feel better.