u/AggressiveAd4196

Hello everyone.

Not sure if this is the correct subreddit or not, but just trying to get different perspectives here.

TLDR
I 30F was upset at my husband 36M on my birthday earlier this month for not doing much on it. That it felt just like any other day rather than my birthday.

Now I am someone who loves to get a little extra attention on my birthday and I wanted him to make me feel a little special on it. And considering I was turning 30 which I think is kind of a milestone, I expected a little more.

So my birthday started at the cinema as we went to watch Mortal Kombat as he has been waiting for that movie since forever. He wished me Happy Birthday there as the movie ended. We got home and there was a bag on my dresser with my gift(a VS pajama set and a Gucci perfume) in it and a card (which just said To my loving wife, from your husband/love). He wanted me to wear the pajama set so I did and we slept. He woke me up in the morning to make his breakfast and lunch as he had to leave for work, I got up blabbing that it’s my birthday least he could do is make me breakfast he just rushed to the washroom so he doesn’t have to listen but Whatever I made it and went back to sleep. Did cry a little when i got up for not getting anything special. Later when he got home from work which is 45min drive, he took us out for dinner to my favorite restaurant which is an hour drive from our house as well but we went out with his whole family and his brother sat in the front as he is a bit on the heavy side and can’t sit in the back as everyone gets uncomfortable. Pissed me off a little but whatever we got there ate and as we finished eating I heard the staff singing Happy Birthday and I thought it was for me but i turned to see it was for someone else. We left and got home closer to midnight I changed and slept. And that’s how i spent my birthday.

I have conveyed to him previously that I love getting surprises like a decorated room with balloons, a few gifts on the side etc etc if you get the gist. Like I have seen people post on social media on their spouses birthday with heartfelt messages and what not, something I would love but I compromised on it as my husband isn’t much of a social media type of a person (he follows 2 accounts on instagram both of which are mine with 0 posts) and I totally get that. But what I can’t understand is why can’t he do it privately like a love letter or something. When I had mentioned that to him all i got was that he gets overwhelmed and never have the words to write. The day after my birthday my instagram feed was filled with Birthday surprises posts like that’s only what was coming up for me. I sent a few to my husband to make him see what I expect. I didn’t complain much or had a fight with him just told him I was disappointed that’s all.

And last night I asked him something idr exactly what but it led to him talking about the videos i sent him. Where he told me that instagram and Facebook has corrupted my brain with these ridiculous expectations and that no normal person does that and that not everyone has the means to do all of that, the people who do it only do them for the views so their videos can go viral or the people who are rich and that there isn’t any real meaning behind all those things etc etc and many more things along those lines.

So here I am strangers of Reddit, am I really that crazy for having those expectations from my husband? For expecting him to make me feel the most special person? Am I reaching for the stars here (Read that in Miranda Priestly’s voice)? Or am I being ungrateful and not being happy at what he did.

Would love to know your thoughts.