Ok there is a lot of info and this is my first post i’m going to try to shorten it as much as possible, sorry if i’m all over the place
me and him got together about a year and a half ago and everything was literally perfect in the beginning atleast that’s how it felt to me. there was a few issues on both of our parts with jealousy over past relationships and i definitely felt insecure over something’s but it wasn’t really his fault, and i take accountability for that now. we talked about our past relationships and one person from my past i was dishonest about and i feel extreme guilt about it everyday, i didn’t act like i had nothing to do with him i just kinda made it seem like it was less important than it was to him, i had gone thru his phone before and found things left in the searches(girls usernames) and other odd things that we’ve argued about before, but about 3 months ago when he slept over, he went through my phone while i was asleep, for context i have more than 25,000 items in my camera roll, i am not excusing still having the video i should’ve gone thru my whole camera roll as soon as we got together i still feel so stupid. the video wasn’t TOO graphic(i’m truly not trying to downplay it) but i completely understand why it upset him. the relationship i had with this other guy was not in anyway serious and i had no intention on being with him as wrong as that sounds. he’s talked so much about wanting to make it work and wanting to forgive me and how he wants me to figure out a plan on how our relationship is going to work?? i guess he made his decision about 5 weeks ago and he broke up with me, but continued to text me and everyday, goodmorning and goodnight, calling me baby, telling me he still lloves me. telling me to think of a plan while he’s in basic. i don’t understand. because not long after that(he was still coming over and everything.) he stayed the night and i got a feeling idk, so i went on his phone and he had added to girls(he has no women on snapchat, ik snaps already a red flag:() these two girls look nothing like me but have the same type of look and dress the same as the girl he was with but didn’t date right before me, i waited until he woke up and just kinda broke down and all he had to say was he was feeling jealous over “all of the men” i have on my acc.. the acc ive had since 2018.. which in the beginning of our relationship thus same thing got brought up and i offered to just delete the acc and remake one it’s not that serious to me, i only talk to 3 people on there including him. but anyway ive known for months that he was going to be leaving in april for basic, i really dont wanna make this any longer than it already is but there’s been a coworker i’ve been kinda suspicious about from the beginning and even more when i was his plus one for his other coworkers wedding and the persons vibe was very weird, the night before he left he came over for a while and we hung out but towards the end i saw a message come up on his phone from this said coworker. the first part was “can’t wait” and i didn’t get the rest, i was js laughing at first bc i thought i was weird bc he would NOT show me was this message said, i kept asking and he was laughing the whole time too.. and finally said “why you’ll just get mad” ive been trying to avoid arguments as much as possible considering he was about to leave and i would have some to to myself to think. also he hates my best friend and she hates him more ( that’s a whole other situation) but i got another feeling the day after i came home from his swear in, there was a new girl he was following, im the only girl he follows other than his mom. and i got a pit in my stomach, fast forward yesterday me and my bsf were hanging out and i told her about it and then we tried to figure out who this acc was because it was private and the pfp was no help. she finally found connected the instagram acc thru snapchat and we found out its the same coworker he’s been secretive about. i know we’re not even “together” but why tell me u wanna make it work and then do all of this.
im really sorry for how long this is, im very lost and hurt right now any advice is greatly appreciated
i also wasn’t sure on exactly what subreddit to put this in