Something funny has happened lately
All the many varied voices in my head/parts of me have come together (behind my back) to decide that the cancer isn't coming back. I'm not sure how, when or why that happened, but I no longer believe that it will.
Of course I know it still might, but just getting to a place of deciding it won't feels miraculous. It's all I've wanted since I was first diagnosed nearly 2 years ago - to not be consumed by thoughts of it coming back, which I was for most of that time.
I joked a lot during my treatment that given my notoriously bad memory, I might end up forgetting I ever had cancer. I have ADHD and get hyper-focused on things to the detriment of all others and I guess I hoped/half-believed that this could be to my advantage.
It's only been a month or so of feeling this, so it might be temporary. I'm completely consumed by work at the moment, so once that quietens down, the fear of recurrance might rear its head again, but even if it does, something has definitely shifted.
I don't have any tips or anything as I'm not quite sure why or how this happened. I guess I just wanted to share and maybe someone reading will see that it is possible to be 100% sure it was coming back to believing it won't (for now, I reserve the right to post in a month's time spiralling that it's back again).