r/breastcancer

Hi I’m new here, 30 years old snd recently diagnosed with stage 4 breast cancer and it spread to the liver. I’m still learning all the terminology and all that stuff, but right now I’m in shock and nervous for the future. I just want to hear some stories of people who were able to push though this, surviving it, overcame it and or just living with it. Any support, advice and reassurance about this is what I think I’m looking for the most. I know every story and every case is different but I am hoping to find some similar answers and a support through here.

It’s the middle of the night my time and my leg hair growing back is driving me insane. I’ve loved having no body hair. Free hair removal! (Hehe how do you define free?)

I’m going to miss not growing random unwanted hairs and n my chin, legs and I’m just going to say it: pubic hair.

The first time I wiped after peeing and the hair just wiped off like Nair was glorious!

I was diagnosed while pregnant, did surgery and four rounds of AC. Lost my hair (even the wanted hair) I took a break from chemo for about 6 weeks to recover to give birth then recover from c section.

I’m back at it with chemo on round 5 of 16 rounds of chemo. I’m on 1 of 12 of taxol. Can’t wait for my itchy leg hair to go away this summer.

Let’s party ladies. Gonna be wild being a bald lady at the pool - I’m not about to let my cute slash expensive wig to get wet. Haha can you imagine al-aside from it being ruined - the mop? LOLOLOL

I have IDC stage 1. Estrogen receptor positive, her3 negative, I'm actually very lucky to be as old as I am and to have gotten the diagnosis I did. Had a lumpectomy a month ago, I'm going to go for five radiation treatments, and after that, I will start an estrogen suppressor.

Because of the estrogen positive status I was advised to stop using estrogen cream. I'm well past menopause and was expecting a UTI and here it is. Two months after stopping, my first UTI.

Does anybody have any suggestions about how to avoid these when one has an onion skin hooha and can't use estrogen cream? I was told to stop all supplements before the radiation, so I'm assuming that includes cranberry pills. I already wipe front to back.

Thanks.

Hi all. It's been 10 days since I had my DMX with straight-to-implant reconstruction. I still have muscle spasms in my pecs, arms, neck, and back. It feels like I've pulled muscles in my armpit and shoulder blade areas. Also, I'm having this weird muscle twitching that happens anywhere from my feet to my shoulders. It's all miserable:/ Has this happened to anyone else? How did you treat it?

I've told both my surgeons. One said "I'm sorry!" and the other one said "that's weird, here are more muscle relaxers." Muscle relaxers and pain meds aren't helping.

Thank you for any information you have!

I took my first “vacation” since… all of this. The trip home to hug people without telling most of them was not a vacation and my SMX (previous last night away from home) was not a vacation. I drove. I drove myself. I drove myself hundreds of miles alone, like i used to. Packed my car alone like I used to. I almost cancelled because that was gonna be hard… but I didnt. I crossed state lines. I saw the south Atlantic coast (US) for the first time. I allowed myself copious quantities of truck stop diet cola in the big styrofoam cups. And mnms

I checked on the ocean. Still there So am I. So are you.

Hello,

Just wanted to add my experience taking tamoxifene to add some positivity to a place that has helped me a lot.

Its been 2 and a half months of taking it (20mg) and let me tell you that although for the first couple of weeks it was pretty rough (lots of hot flashes and insomnia), now other than the occasional hot flash and a bit of a back ache (which resolves with exercising and stretching) my experience with tamoxifene has not been that bad. Its pretty manageable.

Also, the reason foe my post is that Its been a year since I went to have a lump checked which turned out to be a shitty multifocal er+ IDC. As some here, went through ACT chemo, surgery and rads. I was pretty active in this forum but I havent visited it for 2 months and wont be much around tbh, but May is my cancerversary month, yay to me! And I just wanted to share my experience, that we can beat this fucker and feel fine, stronger everyday and with a growing mop of unruly white hair 😅

And even though I'm high risk of reccurrence, and Ill be on estrogen blockers for 10 tears, I try not to let that kidnap my life.😊

Wishing you all the very best.

Lots of love and understanding.

💙

Breasties! Hope today you are feeling hopeful and seen, whichever part of this JoUrNEy you’re on.

I was - - +, and had my last Herceptin treatment in Nov 25. Yesterday, about a year after 15 post smx rounds of radiation, I had my first plastic surgeon appointment. I was really looking forward to it. It did not go well.

I don’t have enough fat or skin to build another breast (despite being an A cup size), so best case scenario would be a new breast that is 60% the size of the remaining one. Implants out of the question because of radiation. My remaining breast can’t be substantially reduced, either, because it’s already very small (it would mean more scars for a mediocre result).

I could have a new breast if I agree to a diep followed by who knows how many more surgeries to graft some fat. A long process.

I think I have decided against it. I’m very disappointed and spent yesterday feeling so much grief. Today is a little better.

Do you have any experiences with fat grafting after diep? Or with choosing to remain flat on one side?

Love you all, and thanks for being a haven of sanity (and insanity!) for me.

tonight I'm frustrated. I am young, dxed at 31, mid ACT right now (gnarly gnarly gnarly but doable).

I don't want to hear my odds of living 5-10 years anymore. I'll be 40. that's still sad news to hear my survival at 40 is suddenly in question. I have been living as if I have more time. I've been responsibly saving for retirement! what do I do with that money? do I keep saving? do I withdraw it and buy a freaking house? I could still reach that age, but between recurrence and side effects of all the treatments, I know the likelihood is reduced - but I can't find out how much!!!

how am I supposed to plan? how am I supposed to live my life purposefully if I don't know how long I really have? I don't want to hope for the best, I want to do what makes sense. I don't know how to realistically plan my life at this age

ugh

I'm so tired, in every way.

And I just need to say, I hate when people ask me normal people questions.

"What are you doing for your birthday?"

Putting a cold compress on my bright red breast and taking a nap?

I don't know what to say, how to answer. I'm not sure what would be better but the small talk at the radiation center just makes me nuts. It's like they refuse to see you're a cancer patient. Don't you deal with them all day long? Shall we pretend none of this is happening? Is that how you get through the day? Guess what, that doesn't work for me! Wish it did...

I absolutely fucking hate it. Please stop trying to make me get it up for you, stranger.

Thank you for letting me share.

ETA: I'm exhausted and overwhelmed... my breast turned bright red and burny after the first rads and all the folks at the center could say is "oh that usually doesn't happen after one session"... i have 2 more to go and I'm in a lot of pain and I hate the hollow small talk. it's really upsetting to have to put a face on at radiation. can't I just be who I am here and get through this in an authentic way... smh

Sigh. The title is exactly as it sounds. I (26f) have always had a hot and cold relationship with my mother. Recently we had been getting along quite well and spent a lot of quality time together following my recent lumpectomy. Today, she flipped a switch and said that she firmly believes the COVID vaccine I got while in college is the cause of my cancer. For context, I’m a teacher and my internships were during COVID, so the vaccine was mandatory. My mother claims I chose my career over my health and that she would have NEVER done such a thing.

We argued for quite awhile but some highlights include her implying that I was somehow too stupid to realize the government was fooling me. When I pointed out that I can’t exactly unvaccinate myself and asked what I’m supposed to do about that now she goes ‘well nothing but you should listen to me and the facts next time’.

My mother has been a conspiracy theorist for quite some time now but I never thought she’d point the finger at me over an issue still so fresh (I had just completed 6 months of chemo before my lumpectomy) and precarious (we don’t know if I have clean margins yet or not). I’m absolutely blown away at the insanity and tone deafness over these claims. Im also just heartbroken. When you’re sick all you want is your mom but I don’t know why mine has to be the way she is.

*Edit: Thank you for all your kind words. I’ve tried to respond to everyone thus far.

Newly diagnosed with ductal carcinoma HER2+. I am honestly just as nervous about managing chemo as I am about figuring out how to navigate this professionally. I am client-facing and work in a male-dominated industry in the Bay Area, and I do not know how to handle the balance between treatment, appearances, energy levels, and continuing to be there for my clients the way I always have.

Would really appreciate hearing from anyone who can share their experiences or advice on navigating a high-stakes job with cancer treatment.

My oncotype (18) threw a wrench in my treatment plan and now a 4x TC Protocol is "up to me". Considering I didn't know what an Oncotype score or TC chemo was 6 weeks ago, it feels ridiculous to put the choice in my hands, yet here we are.

I have the option of the Ofset trial, which honestly seems awesome. The ability to eliminate this entire "gray area" and help other women is so appealing. That said, while adjusting to the thought of chemo has been difficult, I feel anxious at the thought of not getting it in the trial. And that feels like my choice is made: do the chemo. Then I feel selfish and guilty for not helping. And then I am back to not knowing.

For those of you in my position, either to choose chemo and/or enter the trial, what did you do and why?

This report that initially showed 3 lymph nodes from ultrasound, turned out to be

“There are at least 10 left axillary and subpectoral nodal metastases, the largest of which measures 3.5 x 1.8 x 3.5 cm on image 178. A representative subpectoral nodal metastasis measures 2.6 x 2.1 x 1.8 cm on image 213.”

10!?… this is crazy! Could some of these be reactive? I have a lymph node biopsy Friday to confirm or not.. and recent CT scan showed

“Subcentimeter hypoattenuating hepatic lesions are too small to characterize” which the drs believe it is benign.

it just keeps getting worse and worse with more and more tests, anyone with the same experience? Like I haven’t even started treatment yet. I feel so hopeless.

Im supposed to start TC chemo next week and i am feeling too awkward to ask my Healthcare team about this... but.... other than the mouth sores did anyone else find they had sores anywhere else? Should I expect my lady parts to dry up or anything? Im 39 with triple negative invasive ductal adenocarcinoma, grade 3. Had surgery 4 weeks ago and tbh I had sex the day after despite the pain. I have a high libido and my partner is so lovely. When were in bed together sometimes its like the only time i feel "normal" or like a woman still. Now that the chemo is right around the corner im terrified that the experience will take away the intimacy I share with the person I love.

2 years cancer free today (or NED) 3 more years of tamoxifen to go. I hope they go as quick as the last 2 years. When I had my DMX I thought I would never get here but looking back it went so fast

Hello breasties, I write to all who’s had a DIEP Flap and of child bearing age. I have responded many times to posts in hopes to help or encourage, and I respectfully wish the same in return. Who has been formally told (by their doctor of any kind, oncologist/general surgeon/plastic surgeon) that you “cannot get/be pregnant after having a DIEP Flap?” 

I am of child bearing age. My husband and I started talking about babies since I am now finished with all treatment and surgeries (I’ve had 10). I’ve recently read here and there that “my doctor/surgeon said I can’t have a DIEP Flap until after I’ve had a baby so reconstruction is delayed”…. 

I was NEVER once told that I could not get pregnant AFTER having my DIEP Flap. I’m scared. I’m pissed. I don’t know what to do. My husband doesn’t know this information yet and everyday it’s “baby this” and “baby that”. I’m two years post-DIEP.

(I will be reposting this again - if Reddit allows- since there are people who are in other time zones who probably won’t see this now that may be able to respond later and I’m hoping to get at least one “it’s okay my doctor allowed pregnancy after DIEP”).

Last May I was diagnosed with stage 2a grade 3 IDC with DCIS. I did lumpectomy with clear margins of both. Did TC chemo, 33 rounds of radiation and now getting Zoladex monthly, and taking exemestane and Kisqali.
Had my first mammogram after treatment a couple weeks ago and the radiologist came in the room and showed me my mammogram from last year along with this year and there are calcifications in same spot on both, it is near my scar tissue from lumpectomy. As extra precaution he wanted to do a biopsy. I got the biopsy results today and it is DCIS. I can’t believe this. It’s just never ending. It looked to be a small area but because I already had radiation, I am worried I now have to have a mastectomy. Meeting with surgeon in a couple weeks because of course she’s on vacation next week. I can’t believe she missed DCiS during my lumpectomy that was shown on my mammogram last year.
Someone please talk me off the ledge!!! Has this ever happened to anyone or am I all alone with this?

Day 3 after my first TCHP chemo.

I went into this probably over optimistic (after a very rough emotional rollercoaster at the diagnostic stage), but today it feels like most of that has evaporated.

I could really use some real silver linings from people who’ve been through this, things that genuinely helped you get through the worst parts please? It can be deep or shallow or anything in between.

I’ll go first:
- I’m getting paid sick leave and I get to spend more time with my baby
- my treatment is all covered by my company health insurance which got me quick access to diagnosis and treatment and I get to choose my medical team
- I’m potentially getting a cleavage I’ve never had in my life. Small win, but I’ll take it.

hi everyone,

wanted to share my story after silently following this sub since weeks. I'm 53, almost 54, (menopause not anywhere near still though, not sure if that matters). Have done my last mammography last year in June 2025, BIRAD-2, everything fine - hurrah !

Then, thinking back now, since like January 2026 I started to feel a lump in my breast. Had no concerns at all (as I relied on my mammography done only 6 months prior with nothing suspicious found). The lump didn't go away though and I thought better to have it checked but still no concerns as cancer can't develop in like only a few moths, right ?

And of course I was wrong. An MRI with contrast showed a 3 cm cancerous tumour (Kaiser score 11) and 2 other suspicious masses. I thought I'm done with my life and couldn't function the next couple of weeks, as something which grew that fast must be super-aggressive and must have spread to my whole body already, the last 4 weeks I was at the darkest place in my life.

Then, finally 2 days ago I got my biopsy results:

3 cm invasive malignant tumour NST, KI67 7%, Grade 1, ER95%, PR85%, HER2-low, as for now, no nod involvement seen on MRI & US (the other masses have turned out to be benign or not yet cancerous but possibly in the future, so they are going to remove those as well)..

And what should i say, I was almost relieved as I really thought the tumour must be aggressive af as it grew in like a couple of months to 3 cm and has for sure spread to every part in my body (still a possibility but at least not very likely). But turned out as per biopsy histology, Mr. Cancer was likely chilling in my breast already for like a few years, slowly growing, but radiologist overlooked it year by year on mammography due to my dense breasts tissue, until I could finally feel the 3 cm shitty bastard by myself..

I learned in the meantime that in dense breasts (mine is ACR-C) the failure rate on mammography is up to 50% for ACR3-C and 70% for ACR-4. Like wtf ! Nobody told me that and I was too stupid/ignorant to find out by myself earlier, as I would have insisted on MRI otherwise even if I have to pay from my own pocket (on MRI the cancerous tumour was glowing like a brightest neon tube in Las Vegas).

I really want to shout out to all women with dense breast tissue: don't rely on mammography, insist on MRIs ! My cancer would have been found probably much much earlier.

Please spread the message to all women you know: if you have dense breast tissue, insist on MRI, don't rely on mammography.

Apolgies for the long text !

I was diagnosed with breast cancer in early April, exactly 366 days after my upstairs neighbor accidentally set the apartment building I lived in on fire and I lost everything I had.
There is no history of cancer in my family, and I am only 36. I am a single mom to a 7 yo daughter and have no family in the states (originally immigrated from Germany).

I thought I had a good partner. We had just celebrated our one year anniversary and he seemed supportive … only to take on a job overseas without telling me. He wanted to be closer to his son, which I understand, but he got upset when I didn’t jump for joy and barely commented on the fact that the same day he signed his contract my bone and organ scan had come back clean. My survival apparently meant very little. Needless to say I broke up with him, but he was the only support system I had, my life line.

I’m getting a DMX at the end of May. My dad is flying over from Germany to help out. I have never felt so lost and so alone in my life, and I don’t know what I have done that things have to be this hard for me.