Okay so there’s a lot of details I have to leave out for the sake of privacy but basically: 5 years ago I moved back to my home state after leaving a really unhealthy situation in another state. I got a nanny job pretty quickly through an agency, and looking back, I got way too personal/friendly with the mom way too fast and overshared details about my life that I definitely shouldn’t have.
Part of what I shared involved an ex from the other state who sold weed. At the time I was young, overwhelmed, and honestly not making the best decisions about boundaries or professionalism.
This ex came with me to my home state (his home state too) and I had found an out to get away from him officially. I had to leave home state very suddenly to do so. I didn’t give proper notice because of the personal situation I was in at the time. I sent the mom a long apologetic message thanking her for everything and explaining that I had to leave immediately.
After that, things got really weird. The mom and the agency apparently contacted the police claiming they were afraid of my ex and making it sound like there was some kind of danger to them. The agency owner also threatened me directly and told me she would make sure I could “never work in *home state* again.”
At the time it terrified me.
Now it’s been 5 years, I’m older, married, and considering moving back to home state for school/life reasons and I really want to get another nanny job. But part of me is worried that somehow this agency blacklisted me or damaged my reputation behind the scenes.
Realistically, is that even a thing in the nanny world after this much time? Has anyone experienced something similar with agencies holding grudges or spreading things around?
I know I handled parts of the situation badly, especially oversharing and leaving abruptly but if you knew the story, you’d understand. And that’s what’s hard about this because this mom knew the whole story and was even trying to help me get away too. But I barely knew her and the person that helped me was family so I just had to cut my ties and bounce.
I’m not trying to avoid accountability for that. I’m mostly wondering if I’m letting an old threat live in my head for way too long.