r/Nanny

Ok so this is going to be a lot of info but I’ll try to break it down into paragraphs.

I have an opening in a nanny share coming up. It happens and one of my dudes is transitioning to other care. I have never had an issue filling a spot.

The issue is the family I am retaining is… making things complicated.

The family I’m keeping (who I’ve been with for several years at this point) has very strict guidelines about the incoming family. Has to be only one child. The child has to be a boy. The child has to be older than their child. But no more than 6 months older. The family has to be within a certain geographic location. The family has to fit within certain hours. And I need to find a new family and have contracts signed by xx deadline.

I have interviewed with over 15 candidate families at this point. And for one reason or another NF has rejected them. It’s frustrating because a. I take the profiles of each family to NF and ask if they want me to interview the people. They always say yes. And then once I do the interview they tell me they don’t see why I wasted my time. And b. They are frustrated with me that I have not found more suitable candidates yet.

I have, however, found a few families that I do like personally. I am considering signing with two new families and putting in my notice with the current family.

Please help.

So I am currently caring for a family of four and I was not informed by any of the three adults that are caring for the children that one of them had a bug 24hrs prior to me coming. Now that I am here and expected to care for the children for 48 hours straight; kiddo #2 now is showing symptoms of having a bug and keeps vomiting. How am I to go about this? I am wondering if it is acceptable for me to ask parents for a sick fee and or someone to come and replace me for my remaining time. If someone replaces me, I would like sick pay for the day that I was here and if I am asked to stay for 48 hours, I obviously would expect to get sick pay for the 48 hours I am here. Again- I was NOT informed of the child(ren) having a bug or any type of sickness. I do not work with this family full time + there is not contract. I just feel as if they are being inconsiderate by not properly communicating. I do have other jobs to tend to and I fear that I will have to call off my full time job due to the bug. I’m already giving them a deal on childcare by charging by the day instead of hourly like I typically do. Please help for I would like to message parents before it gets too late due to them being on vacation and possibly having to find coverage. Thank you all so much (:

Hi everyone,

I wasn’t feeling good at all this weekend and ended up in the hospital. I stayed overnight and was discharged today (Sunday), but I’m still not feeling well physically.

Around 11 a.m. today I texted my nanny family and let them know I wouldn’t be able to come in on Monday because I need another day to rest and recover.

I’ve been their nanny for about a year and I’ve never called out before. The only time I left early was because NK got me sick and I was so weak I couldn’t finish the day. Other than that, I’ve always shown up and have been really reliable.

It’s around 10 p.m. now and they still haven’t responded, which is making me anxious because they usually text back really fast. I feel awful about missing work, but I also don’t think it’s a good idea to take care of a toddler when I’m still feeling this sick.

Am I I overthinking this? Should I just show up to work tomorrow if they never reply, or should I assume they saw my message and stay home to recover? Has anyone else been in a situation like this? Just curious

So my nanny family is expecting a new baby at the end of July. They are cutting my hours down from 9-6 to 9-2 for the whole time she’s on maternity leave. My question is should the 4 hours that they cut fall under guranteed hour pay? or since the hours got cut thats just my hours for now.

I had actually sent them a message on Tuesday saying that due to issues with the phone I was texting from, my new # would be \*blank\*. The phone I normally use/phone number I normally go by has been turning on and off for some reason. I actually just now saw that they messaged me about 2 hours before the expected shift on Thursday asking if I’d be available to come and watch their kiddo because he was a difficult day at school. I had messaged them from the new phone on Monday. I never responded on Thursday because I stopped checking the old phone. They had hearted my message on Tuesday about the new # so I thought they’d gotten it. Now I feel bad. I had explained on Tuesday that the old phone (the one I was then texting from) was having too much trouble. But now I just feel guilty I don’t want them to see me as unreliable!

On Tuesday I had sent “Hi your-name! I wanted to reach out and communicate that NUMBER is now going to be my permanent number since this phone is having too much trouble!” I can technically open up the old phone but it turns on and back off so often that I just don’t check it. Today was my first time checking it since Tuesday or Wednesday

Hi. I’m currently a nanny to a family and my job will be over in 5 months per the contract. However, I’m SO SO SO SO SO miserable and stressed out. The dad of the family constantly is condescending. Here are some examples, I myself have been in the healthcare field for 5+ years, and have 3 science degrees which one of them is biology. I’m well educated on medical topics and yet he mansplains how cortisol is released when we don’t sleep well. I’m 20 weeks pregnant. I was simply laughing saying “I haven’t slept and now I’m so hyper haha” and he starts with “that’s the cortisol…. Blah blah”. Another one is one of his kids pulled out something they weren’t suppose to he asked all his kids, they all denied it. I had JUST walked into the house, he SAW me walk in, and he accused me of pulling it out “nicely”… like… bro what????
Another one would be he was complaining how one of the big rain storms flooded his garden. On a separate day, i noticed it was raining hard so I texted and asked if I should do something (cover the plants etc) to prevent flooding. He texted back saying “the plants could never flood even if it rains a ton”. OKAY WELL IM GOING OFF OF YOUR OWNNNN WORDS!!!!! Ugh.

Another one is one of his kids DOES NOT listen. Argues with everything, doesn’t do anything he’s asked (9yo). When we got back from an outing I laughed about how his son told me “I don’t want to listen so I don’t.”

And his dad said “well YEAH nobody wants to listen no one ever wants to listen”…

1. Super unproductive response.
2. HIS DAUGHTERS WANT TO LISTEN AND CONSTANTLY SHOWS ME THAT!!!!!

And the list goes on and on and I am miserable when I suggested a blood panel when his daughter was sick for 3 weeks straight, he got offended instead of “oh yeah maybe we should that’s a good idea.”

I’m miserable. He’s so condescending and man splains constantly and treats me like I was born yesterday. I’m 30, lived in 3 countries, speak 4 languages fluently, have a pilots license, 3 degrees, couple of published researches. He constantly says some extremely dumb sh** that would shock most people.

It would be hard for me to get another job since I give birth in 4.5 months.

Should I stay miserable and smile and build up anger? Or politely start responding appropriately instead of just smile and walk away? Should start to show attitude to show him I know wtf I’m talking about? lol
How do I make him respect me as person (can’t believe I have to even type that sentence lol).
How should I handle this. I’m angry all day every day with his stupid ridiculous remarks .

I’ve been debating making a post about this but it’s starting to really frustrate me. I’m currently a live in nanny for the summer before I go back to college in the fall, and I’m in a really nice city that I’ve always wanted to visit. When I first interviewed with the family I was told I’d only be taking care of the son 9-3 to basically just help with his online classes. He’s 5 years old, and their 3 year old daughter I wouldn’t really be with since the mom doesn’t work she was going to be with her while I do schooling with the son. Now my pay is $16 an hour which is lower than I’d go for but since I was really excited to be in this area I just agreed anyway! Don’t get me wrong the family is super kind, but I’m starting to feel a bit taken advantage of. Firstly my agreed hours were 9-3, but after I was supposed to get my first paycheck, the mom said let’s just set my weekly pay as 9-5 5 days a week even if I do less hours that’s my set pay. Which was great because I figured I was gonna have plenty of time in the late afternoons to myself. But after the kid finished school work and lunch it’s around 3-4 then they go to activities and come back at around 6 and I’m expected to feed them dinner. And then I clean the entirety of the downstairs including all the dishes for the day and mopping the whole downstairs including . And so the first month I wasn’t “ finishing” work till around 9 PM sometimes even 10. Also I forgot to mention, originally for the first two weeks I was only with the son, but now I take care of both kids. I feed them both, I watch them, I’m expected to also help the daughter start learning as well. So I started to just make time for myself and let them know I’d be going out some days at 6 or whatever and there was no issue, and the days I stay at home, again I’m still expected to watch and feed them past 5 pm. And this was never a big issue until it bled into my weekends. I have Saturday and Sundays off, but I can count on both hands the weekends I’ve worked, without being payed for it mind you. One Saturday I had plans with a friend but the parents let me know they would be going house shopping so I stayed with the kids for 7 hours on my Saturday. Which I wasn’t payed for. And then recently on a Friday night I had plans to see a movie with my friend when the mom told me last minute she was leaving for a spa, and I had to put them to bed and stay with them in the bed because the kids were sick, so I had to stay with them in bed and check their temperature every 20 minutes until the mom got home which wasn’t till 12 am. So I was with the kids genuinely from the second I woke up to 12 in the morning, and I didn’t get paid for those hours either! And recently we went to a wedding for the weekends and I was there to watch the kids both days and give them water feed them etc, again wasn’t paid! And many many more instances I don’t care to write them all , but then now my breaking point as I’m writing this it’s a Sunday and I had a workout class booked for 11am, and as I’m getting ready the mom lets me know she’s going to the city to do back to school shopping, and that she will be back later in the evening?!?! And that they’re gonna stay with me, and again of course I’m not gonna be paid for this. But it’s just genuinely so frustrating. And don’t get me wrong it’s hard writing this because I really like this family, they make me feel apart of the family so I hate complaining, but I feel like I’m bending backwards for them all the time but I never get the same courtesy. Also I’m supposed to be paid weekly but they missed 3 weeks of my pay which i just got. And it’s just super frustrating. And idk what to do. I really like this town and i even made friends and i was so excited to be able to explore it, but i feel like my entire week is just with the kids from morning to night. So what’s even the point?! :/

i'm working for a family with 3 mo old baby. house cleaning and laundry included plus dog walking, feeding etc. working almost 12 hours a day some days a little less but most of the days more than 12. i'm getting paid 20 per hour. for the past months im working for them they always send me home earlier than usual because they don't need my service and it's unfair for me because im expecting to get my salary in full, it's like i don't have guaranteed hours. NY area. am i underpaid?

Hi guys! I’m a full time nanny. Job details don’t matter but this sitch does : A few months ago my cousin came to stay at my home (uninvited) for our grandfathers funeral and threatened my mother, grandmother, sister, and I. He is an addict. Just yesterday, he returned for a 4th of July cookout with a knife (again) and they no longer feel safe for me to be there. I live there alone, & I’m pregnant. We’ve called the police and they said since he’s family to just disperse for the night, but this is the 2nd time. I don’t think im
permanently relocating but he’s still in the surrounding area so I need to move in or stay with my sister for a little bit. The police are not helping. What the hell do I tell my NF? They know about the prior situation as we’re casual but I’ve never called out this late for such an amount of time. Someone please help?? I’m expecting that I could lose my job but they’re understanding, but idc about my job atp when this person keeps showing up😭 I need help writing a message!! My sisters home & my job are 3 hours away from one another

My grandma recently passed away, and because of that, I’ll be taking on more financial responsibilities and paying more bills.
Right now I nanny for a family on Sundays, Mondays, and Tuesdays. They pay me $16/hour, but after taxes I’m only bringing home around $400 every two weeks.
The bigger issue is that they live about 45 minutes away, so I’m driving an hour and a half round trip each workday. On top of that, on my longer days I usually end up paying for lunch and dinner for their 12-year-old, and I don’t always get reimbursed. Between gas, food, and wear and tear on my car, it feels like I’m losing a lot of money just to keep this job.
I genuinely like the family and don’t want to leave them in a difficult position, but I’m starting to wonder if staying is financially responsible anymore.
I’m taking a trip in August, and I’ve been thinking that around the end of July I could let them know that after I return, I’ll need to move on and find a position that’s closer to home or pays enough to cover my expenses. That would still give them a few weeks to look for another nanny while I’m away. I’ve never left a nanny job before, so I feel really guilty even thinking about it.
Does that seem like a fair amount of notice? Or would you handle it differently? I’d really appreciate hearing what others would do.

The only times I left my nanny families are when the children age out and no longer need a nanny. I have been with my current family for almost 2 years. I started as full time and due to health issues a year in I asked to go part time and they accommodated as the child was starting preschool. Originally the child was going to do half days a few days a week but with my issues they changed it to full days a few times a week. Well now in September she will be starting full day preschool 5 days a week. So I will only be with the child 3 hours four days a week with about 3 hours a day of housework. So now I have 2 job opportunities that has been presented to me through family friends both positions being significantly closer. My current job is 40 minutes away. The new opportunities are 10 and 20 minutes away. I really enjoy my current nanny kid and I feel so bad if I left the family. I feel like they accommodated me with my health issues and they have expressed many times that they want to keep me in the fall and keep me happy with hours and such. I have expressed the same of wanting to stay. So id feel bad leaving after saying I want to stay as long as I can. A quick side note, my bosses are nice but they do work from home and they get very involved in our day which makes my job a lot harder. So it would be nice to move on but I have a ton of guilt

I wish there was a way we could contact families past nannie’s to get their story. I’m curious as to if their stories they told me are true and if they check our references i think we should get to check theirs. So whoever is newborn nanny for british american household in nyc and your name starts with a T let me know 🤣

So I have 3 houses with children 5 girls in total in 3 houses. One with a 6 year old I've known since 2, and her now 4 year old twin sisters. Another house with a 5 year old. And a house with another 5 year old who at first I thought so great her dad spends 100% of time Playing with her and no screen time just 100% play time. I admired at first but I've noticed some developmental delays maybe bc of that. I'm not actually going to say anything to my client, but the other girls can hold full short conversations, "did you have a good day at school?" Did you have a good week? How was gymnastics? They all respond to me in words. This one child will not respond in words, but like by grabbing a fake Easter egg and pretending to lay it like a chicken. She responds in sounds. And like if i know she has a developmental disorder it would maybe help me to connect with her better, but like developmentally she seems fine, but at 5 you should be able to respond even quickly to an adult with words. Should I assume she has a developmental disorder, should I ask? Or just pretend it's normal for a 5 year old to answer my questions by pretending to lay fake eggs? And just make animal noises? Or is this just one of those times a single parent overcompensates?

The parents thanked me a million times but when I looked at the Zelle the dad sent it didn’t include the $15 for the extra 30 minutes I stayed bc they got stuck in traffic.

I am so tired of people acting like I am just there to do them a favor. As a nanny how do you get parents to take you seriously?

I am so mad bc it’s not even the money, it’s the disrespect. The dad made it clear that my job is “easy” which misses the point. They are paying for my years of experience and my time is fucking valuable.

This loving, dynamic family in Nairobi, Kenya is seeking professional, knowledgeable, and confident newborn care specialists to provide expert, steady infant care for their four newborns in a collaborative, team-oriented environment.

Location: Nairobi, Kenya with potential travel to the US and Bahamas during contract
Ages of children: Four newborns with due dates from mid-September to mid-November, including twins via surrogacy in mid-September, a singleton due in October, and a singleton due in November via surrogacy

Contract dates: 6-month contract starting September or October 2026, with the flexibility of an earlier start date if candidates are available sooner
Schedule: 6 months of 24/7 care

Compensation: The family is offering a daily rate of $45/hr for 24-hour care (including 4-hour daily paid breaks), which equates to a contract-based compensation of $278,460 per 6-month contract following local and national overtime laws. The family may be open to candidates who are seeking a higher compensation package commensurate with experience.

Live-in/Live-out: Live-in. A bedroom and bathroom will be provided for NCSes to relax and rest in while off-duty.

Was posted on adventure nannie’s instagram

Hi everyone! So I just completed my 5 day trial to be a live in nanny to a 9 month baby and I wanted some advice on some things. Ive never done live in before so curious. Also the family is really really nice but the dad can be bit overbearing and a control freak. Anyways it was my understanding that trials will be you following the schedule and then if you have any questions obviously they are there to help but in this particular situation, baby there was is no schedule….

1. I had to ask multiple time for how they do things, routines, what everything and everyday usually looked like, etc. They acted like I was just supposed to know everything already and it was even more nerve wracking and honestly made it to where I felt like I knew less than usual :/ Didn’t know how many naps or times, didn’t know snack or food schedule had to ask for every detail and then looked stupid everytime i asked. Also dad got mad because I didn’t know how to use their technology in the kitchen like i’ve been here less than 12 hours at this point and you have state of the art devices?

2. I wasn’t allowed to use my phone at all during working hours it had to be locked away (something dad told me at the door) and they even took me out one of the nights and i wasn’t allowed to bring it and if i did i left it in the baby’s bag. I understand the screen thing and being on your phone but idk that seems a little extreme to me.

3. Heres the kicker, what’s my working hours? They don’t know. They want someone to be flexible and to live in, AKA i learned after 3 days just meant they want someone 24/7 on and off at their beck and call. I had overnights and daytime and felt so CONFUSED and anxious about if i was on or off. Like Im on overnight but also whenever she wakes up im on for another 12 hours? which means Im just always on and yeah i think this isn’t okay but remind me. I think for that much childcare more than 32 and hour is necessary and living in.

4. I was always nervous about what I SHOULD be doing. Dad was constantly hovering taking over and intervening. I was thinking i’d deal with baby the whole time i’m on (at least when i think i was on) but no he was dealing with cat seat, putting her in stroller and pushing it, had the baby bag, if she got up in the middle of the night he hovered over me in her room and then would take her from me but have me stay in the room bc im “still on duty” and I learned the second night when i went to bed he got upset? If she gets a diaper change he’s there. He works from home just to come in and watch whenever he wants. When she’s taking a bath and doing it with us. Literally EVERYTHING he’s doing too.

Idk I guess moral of the story is WHY am I here???? It just seems you want someone for like when you don’t want to parent anymore but also you want to micromanage the entire time and get mad when i do something wrong. And I need a schedule I feel like the being on call while always working the same day is a little confusing and frustrating .

Hello everyone,
I really need everyone’s else perspective. I had a talk with mom boss yesterday regarding my hours for Friday, I have noticed (completely my fault) I was not keeping track of hours for Fridays and realized I was working past my GH, I am “guaranteed” 35hr a week and Fridays are suppose to be 3 hr days. I was looking back at my payments and it doesn’t add up I was only getting payed 30 minutes extra and I know for a fact I was not leaving by 11:45-12:00 on Fridays. I know dumb of me for not keeping track, I was just so use to actually working a set amount of hours weekly and anything past that was payed extra. So with this family I am working for, to me it feels that mom boss is not understanding but I also do understand her. I explained to her that Fridays my pay wasn’t accurate and that I also would like to know what time I would be off Fridays.

Yesterday it was mid day and I didn’t know what time I would be off. She didn’t give me any heads up and since I’ve started she won’t tell me what time I would be getting dismissed on Fridays. I had stayed quiet until yesterday I was struggling with my own daughter and I had thought, well mom boss is not working (she was home) I will be dismissed early and be home on time. It was 2:30 and I had to text her and ask till what time I would be needed. I had the talk about my pay for Fridays and GH, they had just gotten back from their vacation Wednesday, so I did not work Monday and Tuesday and yesterday Friday I strongly felt she wanted to keep me for a full 8hr shift but she was not going to pay those extra hours since I didn’t work Monday and Tuesday (because they were gone). She has done this one other time where she swaps the hours and will extend another day because she excused me one day earlier than usual and I have explained to her already that I do not work that way. Any hours worked outside my standard schedule is extra even if I was dismissed earlier or wasn’t needed and she agreed on that. Fast forward yesterday since I had suspected she was going to do this again, I thought it would be great opportunity to talk in person and well it didn’t go so well, definitely felt alot of tension and she was confused saying that she was paying me for GH, then I said yes but I am working past the usual hours I normally work on Fridays and that I do not bank hours. Just because I didn’t work Monday or Tuesday that I don’t want to be “making up” hours the following day? I also brought up about wanting to be given a heads up of what time I would be off on Fridays and she said oh well you had said you were flexible (during the interview) I had said I needed about 36hrs a week but that I was flexible! I meant if they needed 38-40hrs of childcare that we can do that but whatever hours they needed would be my GH, so it would be on the contract. They decided to guarantee 35 hrs but realistically they need more than 35hrs of childcare, I just now come to conclusion that it’s more convenient for them to have on the contract 35GH, (but not understanding what GH even means in my opinion) correct me if I am in the wrong.
Long story short, I told her yes I said I was flexible but I meant if you need 38hrs of childcare (which they do) that I wanted those hours guaranteed so on my contract. She responded with “she didn’t know everything had to be so rigid”. That kind of threw me off and made me overthink things and feel that I am asking for a lot. I’m not trying to be greedy or ask for things that are uncommon, I have worked like this for years and this is how I’ve done it with past employers? She also had said that going forward we can document exact hours and I had said, this is why I would like a set amount of hours clearly they need more than 35hrs but they don’t want to guarantee the extra amount of hours they need, seems like they want for me to just work those extra hours without having it be guaranteed hours, so when they leave for vacation the extra hours I have been working Fridays will not be guaranteed if I make sense. I am feeling very stressed with the explaining and I am also now feeling discouraged since I only have about 3 months with them and everything was going fine but I do see we cannot come to an agreement when it comes to GH.

All advice welcomed, please give me some insights.

Hi everyone,
this is going to be sort of a long post and I apologize for that. I’m in need of some advice/reassurance on how to proceed. I’m currently working for a single mom, with a 2 year old girl (NK1) and 9 year old boy (NK2). I started with them in February/March and was only working maybe 2 days a week, and sometimes not at all. Just as of May(ish) has it become every weekday (or sometimes 4 days a week if the weather is bad). Their mom works in construction so her hours are all over the place and I am basically considered on call until the night before when she gets her call on if she’s working the next day. She doesn’t usually know if the shift will be short/long so some days I’m there from 4:30am-9pm and some days it’s more like 7am-3pm. This doesn’t bother me and it works better for me as I tend to get really anxious when I have a “normal” or “set” schedule. I currently don’t have much going on in my personal life so I don’t make a ton of sacrifices there.

Now, here come the hard parts 😭. When I first started, I told her $10/hr would be fine but would be more if there was more than one child. She said I would primarily be taking care of the NK1 and with NK2 it would just be drop off and pickup at school and that he didn’t really need someone to “watch him.” This arrangement was fine with me because I usually only had about an hour before and after school with NK2. And given that NK1 is still on a pretty routine sleep schedule of fairly long naps, I didn’t have a problem with it. I had a LOT of downtime, I don’t have a TON of experience, and I start my ECE course (if I can afford it) in September, so the pay truly felt fair to me. Now, however, summer vacation has started and I have both kids full time. It feels hard to say but honestly the NK2 is significantly more work than NK1 and especially with the long hours, I am just exhausted at the end of the day. NK2 does not have a lot of independence and struggles with playing by himself or being alone, etc. I don’t mind doing activities with him often and spending time with him, of course, he’s a really great kid. But he is a LOT more work. And I truly believe mom thinks he is capable of being independent and probably has done a better job at setting boundaries. NK1 is also now going for shorter naps now that she knows her brother is home. She is not sleeping for as long so I’m providing a lot more care to her, as well.

I know (now) that this happens a lot and that I’m not the first person this issue has happened to. I know I should know better but I do sometimes have a hard time standing up for myself (I’m working on it!!! 😭). But of course, I need to ask her for higher pay (honestly even if it’s $15/hr lol), and I have no idea how to do that. I’m worried about hurting her feelings if I discuss that NK2 is a lot more work than she let on, and I’m of course worried just in general because I’ve never had to ask for something like this.

Does anybody have any advice for how I should handle this? Or what I should say/not say? I’ll take any validation anybody has to offer but please know this whole thing has been eating me alive so I am feeling very tender and sensitive about it lol 😭

Advice for setting better boundaries/encouraging independence with NK2 is also very much welcome and appreciated. Thank you if you took the time to read this!!!! And of course thank you for any responses.

TLDR: I need to ask for higher pay now that school is out and I’m caring for two children full time. How do I go about it?

EDIT: thank you everyone for your replies and advice ❤️ i asked for $15 and she said she couldn’t do it. i appreciate everyone who helped me feel confident enough to even ask ❤️

I have been a babysitting for a few years but this is my first job being a full time nanny. I work in Austin, TX. I had no idea about contracts or what’s normal before so I just agreed to whatever they offered. My GH are 40 hours a week, M-F, but consistently work 10 hours overtime. They offered me GH, 5 PTO Days, but no sick days. I get paid $24hr for regular hours and for overtime hours. I feel pressured consistently into overtime and don’t necessarily want to work more than 40 hours. Is it normal to ask for overtime pay even though they still pay me for 40 hours when they’re out of town? I think I’m trying to justify it thinking “oh well I get paid for doing nothing so it’s silly to ask for OT pay”. I also don’t know how much longer I’ll work for them because it’s emotionally and mentally exhausting. I’ve been with them for 9 months so it seems like it’s too late to draw up a contract.

Edit: To add, there are two kids. 4M and a baby. I consistently am asked to do housework such as laundry for whole family, cleaning, groceries, as well as the normal bottle cleaning, cooking, play room cleanups, etc. Am I getting paid enough in general? I honestly have no clue what is standard and what I should be asking for. I think I’m selling myself short.

I was wondering if anyone ever heard of travel nanny or live in nanny jobs that allow the nanny to have a small dog? Or is that unheard of?