r/Nanny

My NK is 11mo. Once a week I take her to a museum in the city where they have a lot of activities for babies and toddlers. Arts and crafts, a play area, sensory bins, story time, music class, stuff like that. Each time we go I also take my NK to actually look at the art there. She sits in the stroller and we look at paintings and sculptures and stuff.

This week I ran into my MB’s friend at the museum, I didn’t recognize her but she recognized NK. I guess she mentioned to MB that she saw us walking around the art gallery because MB brought it up to me later. She wasn’t happy that we were just looking at art and said it wasn’t a good use of time because NK is too young to really appreciate any art. And basically she wants us to skip the art gallery and just stay in the play area for babies when we go to the museum and only do childrens’ activites. And she was like “I know you want to do things that are fun for adults during the day but please try to remember that you’re here for NK” which rubbed me the wrong way.

Yes, I do enjoy looking at art myself but I also think it’s beneficial for NK as well. And I can’t stop thinking about the conversation with MB. Is it wrong that I took NK to look at art instead of staying in the play area the whole time?

Hello everyone!

I was recommended to a new family expecting their first baby, we had a first phone interview and then we decided to meet.

After we agreed on the day and time, the mom sends me a text asking to refer to her husband as Sir, herself as Madam and the baby yet to be born Master, followed by the name.

It weirded me out because they didn’t seem to care about etiquette and even from families of high status I never received such requests so it’s definitely new for me.

In that instance, I said of course to not disappoint them before first in person interview but is certainly a topic I want to talk about to maybe express I don feel 100% comfortable in calling a baby Master or them Sir/Madam for that matter. I was asked in previous positions to refer to clients as Mrs and Mr, and that makes more sense but I’m afraid if I tell them I rather refer to them as Mrs and Mr they won’t like it.

What should I do?

I’ve been with this family for years, two kids. This summer NK2 will attend preschool. Since I have been working for this family so long, I have come to get to know many families in the neighborhood, particularly those with kids the same age. There are a few moms that I have been coordinating play dates with at local parks as their kids will be in the same class as my NK. Those families have very part time nannies and occasional babysitters but not a full time nanny like myself.

Today, MB asked that I not text them directly and ask them to coordinate with her if they would like to set up a play date. She said it is fine for me to directly coordinate play dates with their nannies or babysitters but she doesn’t want to “make it weird with her friends because they’ll see each other a lot this summer”. She said she wanted to establish a boundary because she could see it possible that I feel responsible for the other children or like the other moms dictate what I do with NK. I told her I don’t feel that way and it has been very casual, usually along the lines of “we’re going to x park, want to meet up?” but she still seemed unsure. I told her I wouldn’t want to do anything to make her uncomfortable but I can’t help but feel hurt. It feels like I and the other nannies are being put into a separate and lower category of human. I also enjoy these moms and don’t want them to think I am the one that isn’t comfortable with them reaching out or that I am closed off to friendship.

Where do I go from here? What do I say to MB if anything? Do i say anything to the other moms?

I work between 60-65 hours a week. I say yes to my boss almost 95% of the time to anything-no matter how short notice-unless I have a conflict. Thank goodness I love my job and the family I work for. But last week my best friend made a comment on my long hours being crazy and it has me wondering if this is normal or not??

I get paid overtime after I’ve reached 40 hours. Also I nanny in Dallas, Texas

I just feel a bit down.DM MB proposed and wanted a living situation for me due to the fact that one of their older kids will be going into the kindergarten. The other one will be in preschool, and they still have the twins that I care for on a daily basis, the twins won’t be starting the same preschool as the second oldest until next year summer, so they haven’t really had an update on when I’ll be having moving in because of the contractor keeps pushing it back, so they just kind of gave me an estimate. That being sat on Friday after taking the older boys to their doctors appointment. DB mentioned that they’re going to be rehoming their dog and I felt like it was the right time to tell them like well since I’m moving in am I able to bring mine? My dog is potty trained at crate trained. Well as I just got off, MB sat me down in the kitchen and explained to me that maybe I can bring the dogs have them over once maybe twice a month only on the weekends not during the week because she feels like it would be a distraction to me.
I completely understand where she’s coming from but I don’t want to see that as a distraction that only makes it feel like you guys just want me to be used and worked over past my my work schedule. So I just don’t really know how to feel because yet again they said they want me to be as comfortable as possible with this job is already draining and the one thing that’ll make me feel comfortable is having my puppy so I don’t know if it’s just because they’re out of motion DB did say she was very down about having to rehome their dog.

Update: they agreed to get me my own private room at hotels that still have availability! If there isn’t availability, they also agreed to pay me an overnight fee for sharing a room with grandma. They’re letting me come up with an amount I think is fair.

What would you charge as a reasonable overnight fee for having to share a room instead of having private accommodations? Curious what’s standard/fair in this situation.

So I was asked by one of the parents today if I could on top of my regular shift (8-11) do 1:30-4:30 and of course I said I would have loved to because I really do need the money, however I asked if I could just do one continuous shift with no breaks, I could do cleaning or whatever else they might beed done around the house (and they desperately do) in the in between hours, because I live quite a ways away so it would waste a lot of time, gas, and add wear and tear on my car. We’ve had that sort of arrangement before. They are just so cheap! When I asked they didn’t even reply back in text but texted me something else. Like they were so dismissive of my question (perfectly valid question imo) and didn’t have enough respect to say no thanks, we will figure something else out. Like at least that! So in the end I had to clarify on something they asked me for because I always prioritize professionalism 100% so I offered through text and they said family will take care of them, claiming that it would be a “too long of a shift” for me. Even though I offered and they know I’ve asked for more hours before. I’ve never worked for such a cheap family before, when they literally have Prada and gucci shoes strewn about the house. it makes me so upset. Just makes me want to hightail it out of here that much faster. I don’t understand how people can be so cheap with other human beings, especially ones that go above and beyond for their kids and that equally, their kids adore. Even though I have much less than they do I always try to help people even though many times it’s cutting it close. I just don’t understand how people operate sometimes. PLEASE comment, reading others equally pissed off responses has been healing my soul 😂

I’m a nursing student and nanny in East Texas, and I applied for a family helper position that pays $21–27/hr. The schedule would usually be around 9:30 AM–4:00 PM, 4 days a week, with one parent working from home. It sounds pretty manageable overall, and the family seems nice from the description.
The thing I’m unsure about is this part:
Needed for the entire month of June
No care needed in July
Needed again for two weeks in August
So basically there would be a full month with no work in July.
For those of you who nanny professionally or work in childcare, would this only really be worth taking if the family guaranteed pay for July too? Or is it normal to just find temporary work elsewhere during gaps like this?
I’m trying to think long-term and realistically because I need stable income for bills, gas, school, etc. I also know it can be hard to line up another short-term family for just one month and then leave again in August.
Would you:
Ask about guaranteed hours/pay for July?
Treat this as more of a temporary/summer position?
Or avoid taking it unless there’s some kind of retainer/guaranteed income?
I’d appreciate honest advice from experienced nannies/family assistants.

I am having mixed feelings and cant tell if I'm over reacting, or being too lenient.

Our nanny is able to take little man out whenever as long as they are home before we are home.

We got her a museum membership and theirs parks near us.

I like knowing if they go out, but I also feel like I shouldn't have to ask or be surprised when they haven't made it home.

Am I being over baring by asking for a week schedule? I know some outing just depend on how the kids are acting or spontaneous.

I've been working with a kiddo for about 16 months in my nanny share. When I first took the job, the parents told me their older kid was in a nanny share and that they wanted the same for their second kiddo, and they would want me for 4 years. Completely out of the blue, they messaged me last weekend saying their kiddo's last day with me is next week! I am devastated. We have consistent check ins and they always told me they were fine with how things are going and they still want me until their kiddo is 4yo and ready for kindergarten. Now they will barely look at me in the eye...

Has anyone else experienced this? Should I ask them what happened? How? should I just let it be and walk away? I usually give the family a gift when my time with them is over, but I really feel just by this. Does anyone have a gift idea that is small but appropriate?

I still have other kiddos in the share, so it's not a financial blow, but I planned on being with this kiddo for 2 more years and we are so bonded... I have no idea why the parents are doing this 😭

Guaranteed 40 hours in contract, we’ll be going out of town for a week in June and always planned to pay nanny while gone even though kid will be with us.

Is it ok to ask her if she’s willing to house sit and watch the dog? (Ie let her out a couple times a day and feed am/pm, very chill senior doggie)

How much more would you pay on top of a week’s normal pay? $50 a day ok? That’s a little less than if we hired someone else to do drop in visits.

Edit: would be to stay at the house, come and go as she pleases - nbd if she declines since lots of rovers sitters around but the dog would prefer her lol

Please excuse any errors in my grammar, English is not my first language so please ask for clarification if needed.

I already posted this, but to make a long story short, grandma is training me for this job because she was the baby’s primary caregiver. She’s leaving because she’s moving. She didn’t have a distinct day she was going to leave, just “when she found the right place”. Originally I was told her training would last 2-3 weeks, which made sense to me. It’s going on three months now and she’s micromanaging everything I do and it’s driving me insane. Here’s the thing, I’ve been a career nanny for 8 years and it’s not that I’m not a good nanny, it’s she wants someone who’s exactly like HERSELF. If it’s not her way it’s not perfect. It’s not that I’m not good at the job, I’m just not a copy paste version of her.

Here’s the update: yesterday she told me she’s been putting off moving until I am “ready to take on the job myself”. It’s been 3 months and I feel like I’m really getting dumbed down. She also let it slide that parents wanted me to have some alone time with the baby, but she told the no because the baby is “not ready”. I think her definition of “ready” is when the baby picks me over her (he’s 18 months, call me crazy but waiting for the day where the baby picks me over her is like waiting for the day a kid will pick their nanny over their parents when they’re in a room. Also I haven’t had a chance to bond with the baby because we haven’t had any one-on-one time). Also if the baby does get fussy with transitioning over to me (I mean like when I walk in the door in the morning and she hands him over and he starts to cry) she’ll straight up cry with him…that’s not making the transition easier.

It’s to the point where I don’t think it’s worth thinking “it’ll get better when she leaves”.

Here’s where things get rocky. I feel like if I quit, I’m going to be a horrible person who wasted three months of this family’s life on useless “training”. That, and the parents enrolled the baby in summer daycare to accommodate my schedule. I feel like they’ve accommodated me a lot and I would be am asshole if I quit so close to summer.

I’ve already gotten an offer from another family, but I just don’t know how to quit. I’m not sure if I even should quit cause I don’t wanna be a bad person who inconvenienced this family.

Edit to add: the parents mentioned at the beginning that grandma might be a little upset or even rude because she doesn’t want to leave the kids (grandpa retired and they’re moving to a lowest cost of living area, more quite, I guess it wasn’t their first choice but the most responsible). So, they mentioned this training and letting her choose when to go was to help HER easily transition.

Also, remember the Reddit post where a nanny said her past boss called her because when she spoke to a potential family as a reference, the family was really rude and the boss didn’t want the nanny being disrespected at her new job. Yep…I was the nanny and the family was this family…

I feel so disappointed… so when I started with this family two years ago they didn’t have me go to preschool graduation for their oldest and now the youngest is graduating so I asked if they wanted me to come they said yes. Now fast forward three weeks I’m driving in this morning and I get a text they took him to graduation they’ll be back soon so I ask if I should meet them there. About ten minutes later they say no they need someone to let the cleaners in but the cleaners come every Wednesday. I would’ve been fine if I was told at the beginning I wasn’t going but I got excited to go and be included. I got dressed up, wore a dress and did my hair. I’m glad I brought extra clothes but it was just such a let down even if they had told me yesterday or more than upon arrival. Bc now I just feel so disappointed after being so excited

I’m unsure about if this is the correct flair but I work for an agency called kiddie up Nannie’s. They do both on call babysitting and nanny positions across multiple states including Idaho, Montana, and Colorado. I have multiple jobs scheduled throughout the summer with them for babysitting as well as am currently a contracted nanny through them as well. I was attempting to collect information about a resort job (had paperwork to fill out) and the agency hadn’t gotten back to me so I went to the website to see if I could figure it out there, and it says they are permanently closed.
I never got any notification about this happening, I talked to NF about it and she never got any notice about it either.
Does this happen often where agencies go under and they don’t inform their staff?
And does anyone have the scoop on what happened? Or if someone else is taking over or will jobs just stop coming in?
I ended up chatting with the resort that I’m supposed to sit for and they had no clue about this either, but told me they still have me booked in for care so I will be going to those jobs since I need the money.
So I guess PSA for any kiddie up Nannie’s workers out there that didn’t know already.

My family is relocating across the country next month and will need childcare pretty quickly once we get there. We’ve started the nanny search and have had brief intro calls with a few great candidates. We’re in a bit of a pickle though, because we wouldn’t be able to meet them in person until we move there. As a next step, I was thinking of doing a more formal interview via Zoom with both my husband and I and then reference checks. But do you think a nanny would be willing to accept a role without meeting the parents and NK in person? We’d be happy to have our current nanny serve as a reference for what we are like to work with.

Today DB made a light comment in passing about how MB might not want him to show me something NK did because they don’t want to be judged and I’ve been overthinking it ever since. I’m worried they think I’m constantly judging them and I think it’s because of comments I’ve made about previous nanny families that I meant to be affirming to them but might have come off as judgemental toward the other nanny families. Do you think there’s anyway I can reverse this over time or are they just going to always feel judged by me and I will just be more mindful in the future?? I never want a family to feel like I’m judging them because I’m not, but maybe I am more judgemental than I thought😔

I am thinking of hiring a nanny (part-time or full-time) once baby #2 comes along. I had a difficult time with baby# 1 alone with a spouse with a demanding physician job and I know that I will definitely need help with 2. However, I see a lot of posts on here about nannies disliking working for a SAHM and/or having mother's helper roles.

It would be a mother's helper role where we "tag team". We would both go on outings together (I would drive and use my car), one would get the baby down a for nap while the other plays with the toddler, etc. I would not be leaving the nanny with 2 kids while I run errands, do chores, etc. I would also give the nanny a break during the day where she can eat lunch in peace, leave, or do whatever she wants. No other responsibilities other than childcare.

Is this a role that a nanny would actually want? And how would I actually go about finding such an individual?

TIA!

Does anyone else feel like the nanny industry is becoming super oversaturated in their area?

I’m in SoCal and registered with a few high-end referral agencies but also keeping a look out on job boards, facebook, etc. every single job posted in my area has 15+ comments of interested nannies. The agencies themselves are flooded with many more candidates than families and it’s super competitive to get anything. I have 5+ years of experience and certificates and references, but I’m drowning in a pool of candidates who are just like me.

Anyone else feel this way? Or have any advice?

I’m honestly getting so burnt out with my nanny family constantly asking me to do things on my days off. It’s always “can you stop by the house really quick,” “can you run this errand,” “can you help with this one thing,” etc. and it never actually feels optional.

The part that’s really starting to bother me is that the NPs aren’t particularly kind or appreciative to begin with, and I’m already exhausted from working multiple shifts during the week. I’ve also had multiple conversations with them about being paid on time, yet somehow they still feel comfortable texting me for favors on my days off before I’ve even been paid for the previous week.

And it’s not even just regular days off. They’ll ask me to come over on holidays too. I genuinely think they assume that because I’m not originally from this area and don’t have family nearby, holidays “don’t matter” to me or I must not have plans. Meanwhile I’m sitting there like… maybe I just want one day to sleep in, rest, and not be “on call.”

I’m sick right now too and woke up to another request this morning. At this point I feel emotionally drained and honestly resentful every time I see their name pop up on my phone. I’m already planning on quitting because the boundaries feel nonexistent.

How do you all handle families who constantly ask for things off the clock/off schedule? Do you stop responding on days off? Say no every time? I feel guilty but I’m also completely over it.

NP's aren't receptive, I've tried having conversations with them. What do I do?

I know I am not in the fault, but I don't like confrontation. They should plan accordingly, especially since I have their kids more than they do so there's no excuse for them to not do their errands on the days I have the kids.

Has anyone else seen a huge uptick in “mothers helpers” job listings?? I feel like that’s a term I haven’t heard since I was one, in middle school! many years ago lol. Suddenly I keep seeing posts in all of my nanny/babysitting groups with parents looking for them. In my experience mothers helpers are usually young and/or inexperienced people who are willing to work for a lower rate and basically just hang out with the child(ren) while a parent gets housework done or something along those lines. Usually only a few hours a week.

Not only have I seen a huge uptick in those posts, half of them are just looking for an actual nanny but don’t want to pay nanny rates so they call it a mother’s helpers. 30 hours a week is not a mothers helper… Or they’re looking for a house cleaner but again don’t want to pay appropriately. Out of the probably 10 posts I’ve seen in the past few days, off memory I’d say like 2 of them were true mothers helpers jobs whereas the rest were not at all??