r/Nanny

I have a 7 month old son and when I went back to work when he was 3 months old, my MIL was watching him full time. She was seeming overwhelmed so we hired a nanny who watches him for 3.5 hrs in the morning 3 days a week so my MIL can get some errands done. She’s been with us for almost 6 weeks now. I see the nanny when she arrives, but at the end of her shift my MIL is the one letting her go.

My son’s nap time (typically contact naps still) is about halfway through her shift. Apparently, sometimes when my MIL arrives she’s still sleeping and my son seems to be stirring awake. One time my mother in law had to shake her awake while my son was still sleeping on her. Nanny also reports to me that he naps for almost 1.5 hrs when he usually only takes 35-45 minutes naps with me, dad, or grandma for his first nap of the day.

Honestly if she was lightly resting her eyes while he’s asleep, this wouldn’t bother me but if she’s sleeping so hard that she doesn’t wake up when someone enters the room or when he is stirring this concerns me greatly.

Other than this she seems very sweet and is receptive to what we ask of her. My son seems very comfortable with her. However I’ve noticed that she sometimes tells me stories that don’t line up to what she’s told me previously -small things unrelated to my son (weekend plans, her class schedule etc). Anyways I’m just noticing a few red flags. I feel like I should let her go on one hand, but on the other I feel bad since I haven’t had a “warning” convo related to the unsafe sleep. But yet my top priority is protecting my son. Anyways, how would you handle this?

Edit: editing to add that when she first started I requested contact naps. However over the last month he has gotten much better at crib naps and I showed her that routine and encouraged her to start trying. The day she tried it I was able to come and relieve her rather than MIL and during the she stayed in the nursery while he was asleep. I was watching him on my monitor app and he woke up (not crying but definitely awake and making noise) and when I got home she was asleep in the recliner in the nursery. I didn’t address it because I didn’t realize how much of a pattern it was at the time and I wasn’t as concerned about safety since she wasn’t holding him. That has been the only day she’s done a crib nap, all others have been contact. However, if she is sleeping that hard that him waking up doesn’t wake her up I do have an issue with that and I need to address is with either a convo (crib naps only and stay in living room/no sleeping or letting her go) That’s what I’m torn on.

OK, here we go. I've been a childcare provider/ nanny for 17 years straight without break. Never had a problem getting a client. I'm in great shape. I feel I look great or better than most of my age. I'm gonna be 60. My energy and personality, easily matches that of happy children. I really do love what I do. My job is ending after five years unexpectedly. I'm applying all over the place on Facebook groups and my usual Care.com and I'm getting no responses. I'm wondering, do employers only hire young people these days. Am I aged out already?? Really getting discouraged and totally depressed. I'm already depressed about saying goodbye to my babies that I had for five years.

I’m starting to feel like I’m accidentally making the 3yo I babysit dislike her FT nanny, and I really don’t want that to happen.

I’m 17 and babysit for this family about once a week, usually for date nights or on weekends. They have a FT nanny during the week, who I’ve met and really like. She’s very sweet, has been working with kids for 20 years, and clearly knows what she’s doing.

Nanny generally just has a lot of rules with her - most of which are 100% necessary. I have rules with babysitting girl too, but I’m much more go with the flow as we don’t have a schedule to stick to. An example is that she has a big Princess Belle book that the nanny only will only read up to one story from each day, while I’m happy to sit and read it with her for as long as she wants because we don't have anything we need to specifically get done. I also once traded off with the nanny (came in right at the end of her shift), and the second I walked through the door 3 yo immediately took off the shorts from under her dress because she knows I don’t care about what she's wearing in the house as long as she's dressed, while the nanny has a strict rule that she must wear them.

I’m starting to notice that she REALLY prefers me. One time she thought the nanny was coming and through the door I heard her say, “Why is (nanny) coming into MY home?” and then she got super excited when she realized it was me. At her birthday party, she basically ignored the nanny, again, the woman who she's with every day and wanted to be with me (and her friends) the entire time. I could tell nanny was a bit disappointed with that understandably.

I know she’s 3 and I’m probably just the “fun” babysitter, but I feel guilty because she’s with her nanny all day and I really want her to have a good relationship with her. I don’t want to undermine the nanny or accidentally make myself the “fun one” and her the “mean one.”

Is there anything I could be doing during the 4-5 hours a week I see her to help with this?

Hello! I’m a nanny working for a really nice family of 5 (3 kids 2 parents). They have two toddlers aged 3 and 2, and a baby who’s a few months old. I worked with them since early May and have transitioned into full time with them as an actual employee with PTO, etc. However, in September, I had to miss 4 days. 2 were because my uncle had died and I was emotionally distraught, the other two I was sick. Now I am sick again (both the kids have a dry cough but the parents told me it’s not contagious) so idk if it’s from them. Either way, I missed a day this week because of it, but then went in the next day and just touched it out. However, i have gotten significantly worse. My throat hurts so badly it’s painful to talk, and when I do talk it gets even more sore. I also have a cough that accompanies this. I really really don’t want to be seen as unreliable because I’m only 20 making really good money and I like this family. I work 50 hours a week (40 for them and 10 ish for another family) plus school. Should I just tough it out and go in tomorrow?

So I went to this week long event with NF and yesterday I stayed 3 hours longer than scheduled on my last day. @ 2:40 AM Mb and Db came home plastered. I said hello and mb said thank you good night nothing else. Not a sorry we’re late af or how was my kid. I assumed they were coming home at a reasonable time and thought I could let them know I was leaving pretty early the next day. But that did not happen. I left and sent a text but have not received any replies. I also need to get paid but I’ve double texted and nothing…. Also now that I’m here ranting- I hear them arguing and Db said a very concerning statement toward MB that made me wonder if this is a DV situation or was he just joking.

I don’t like being a nanny for these reasons. Too much drama that I don’t want to be involved in. Just pay me and be civil and txt back.

I had a 7 hour Saturday evening booking confirmed 10 days in advance, and the date had been repeated and reconfirmed multiple times in our messages. I obviously turned down other jobs for that block, drove over 30 minutes, and when I was about five minutes from their house, the parent called and said they had accidentally given me the wrong date and actually needed care the following week. They followed this with an apology and offering gas money, which felt deeply disrespectful and showed a lack of integrity and professionalism.

In every similar situation I’ve had before with cancellations this last minute, families have always paid the full confirmed booking or at least offered to because the cancellation was due to an error on their end, not because I failed to show up or provide care. I had reserved the entire evening and was essentially at their door when I was told to turn back around.

I work with reliability and integrity about honoring my booking, and never flake. Even if another family offers me a higher-paying job for the same hours, I never cancel an existing booking.

If the situation were reversed and I showed up saying I could only work half the confirmed hours because I’d made a scheduling mistake, I can’t imagine that being considered acceptable either.

Would you consider full payment the fair/professional expectation here? Curious how both childcare providers and parents would view/honor it.